


The Hedonic Creation

by grapesicle



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rival Relationship, Romance, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, lots of art references too, the theme for their final project is sculptures, there's a lot of fluff, visual arts major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-11-16 07:58:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 69,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18090461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapesicle/pseuds/grapesicle
Summary: In his last year of college, Jaebum knew that working on his final project was a must for him to graduate with a major in visual arts on-time, and at first, he really did try to, but not anymore. Because, Jaebum thought, if working on it meant he’d have to succumb to his newly discovered attraction to his archenemy Park Jinyoung’s hands, then he didn’t want to do it at all.Or, Jaebum suddenly couldn’t stop looking at Jinyoung’s hands and he didn’t know what to do with himself.





	1. The Perception Of Art

**Author's Note:**

> warning for a bunch of art references and tooth rotting fluff scenes. that's all.

The dark circles under Jaebum’s eyes must’ve looked pretty bad this morning, or at least worse than the usual, if the look of mild horror and concern his classmates kept sending his way was anything to go by. Even his professor had approached him after class to ask if he was truly alright. He must’ve looked like shit the whole period. What, funnily enough, wasn’t all that far from how he felt on the inside, really.

 Faced with a dull headache that spread from the middle of his forehead to hit even the farthest corner of his nape like a throbbing crown, Jaebum wished he could’ve stayed at home and just moped around his small studio apartment instead of attempting to attend class today. Sleep-deprived and anxious about something his subconscious wouldn’t tell him, he’d been sure he wouldn’t be able to function properly that morning even if he tried his hardest, but he’d taken the bus and gone to college even so. Maybe that’s been a stupid decision.

  _Staying home_ , he’d tell himself while downing his fifth cup of coffee at the campus’s cafeteria now, desperate and annoyed that he couldn’t get past the initial stage of his final project even if his life depended on it, _wasn’t the best of options either_.

 One renowned artist once said that the inspiration for the greatest of works was outside. Jaebum couldn’t remember who it was, or even if it’s truly been an artist to say that and not the motivational phrase printed on the back of his cereal box, but he did his best to follow that advice on the daily. Even when he was so wrecked that people got confused as for to fear or pity him when they crossed ways on corridors.

 Lucky him he didn’t have classes every day of the week, or every week of the month for that matter. Unlucky him it meant he usually had plenty of time to lock himself at home and mourn over his artist’s block disgrace without the effective excuse of attending classes to make him “go outside” for once.

 If only he could work on his project in the meanwhile… but for that, he’d have to have found some sort of inspiration to get the kick in. Which he still hadn’t.

 Or at least that’s what he’s been trying to convince himself of, day in and out, for the past month. Because, denying the fact that he has, in fact, found something he really wished to develop and work on at, was better than admitting that it had something to do with Park Jinyoung. Everything, actually.

 To this day, Jaebum still wasn’t sure why it happened. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they’ve been rivals in more ways than just one for almost their whole lives, eyes unintentionally trained on each other, and attention focused on their respective movements. Trying to prove a point to one another even back in their kindergarten days, getting in each other’s hair for most part of it.

 That could be it, that obsession they’ve developed toward one another without noticing, or even consenting it. Or that could be just about karma still.

 Either way, it did come off as a hell of a surprise when one day, in the middle of craft class, Jaebum found himself seeking inspiration in the fine lines of Jinyoung’s hands as they held a piece of milky white marble.

 During all the times Jaebum’s gotten those hands on him, it was either palmed over his chest to shove him away midst and argument, or turned into a fist to collide against his jaw after an ill-intentioned comment. They’ve never attracted his attention all that much--nothing in Jinyoung really has--so his newly acquired interest in them did leave him astonished and clueless to the point of denying it altogether.

 However, as everything in life, this action did have consequences. And now he couldn’t seem to fall asleep. More like, he didn’t _want_ to.

 His insomnia was kind of self-induced, if he ever allowed himself to think about it. Because, the moment he noticed with certain despair how his eyes kept trailing back to Jinyoung’s hands during every class they attended together, he started having dreams, too. And those dreams--they were the worst.

 Even though they tended to repeat themselves, this torturing loop inside his head working like a broken record to play the same song over and over again, there were times where the pattern got interrupted.

 The usual dreams were composed of disconnected memories of Jinyoung’s hands in various occasions, playing frame-by-frame as if in an old movie, and Jaebum blamed his impending cinematography degree for that.

 The unusual dreams were composed of very vivid images of Jinyoung’s hands skirting some part of his own body, elegant fingers sometimes playing with his pouty lips or sliding down his neck to tug at the collar of his cardigan in a harsh way, and that--well, Jaebum didn’t have anything to blame that for.

 Therefore, after waking up one night drenched in sweat and in the middle of what he believed to be a panic attack, Jaebum decided that if sleeping meant for him to dream about Jinyoung’s hands in a not very despising way, he didn’t need to sleep anymore. And that resulted in him doesn’t getting to sleep at all after a couple of days being stubborn about it.

 What, understandable enough, resulted in him being a wreck right now, attracting all kind of looks from all kind of people in the cafeteria. With a suffering groan, Jaebum leaned over the table he was currently sitting behind and rested his head on his crossed arms over the tabletop. _D’Angelo_ played on the earbuds he’d just plugged in, but it did nothing to make him relax. Maybe he should really have stayed at home.

“What’s wrong with you today?” He heard then, distant and muffled by the song currently filling his ears, but still loud and recognizable enough to confirm his last thought about not putting foot out his apartment for the week. Jaebum groaned again. Of course, considering how shitty his whole day has been up until now, it was almost certain that he would get a confrontation with Jinyoung today of all days.

 And it didn’t help shit how he still saw those tormenting images of a specific pair of hands blinking in aftereffect when he forced his eyes open, as they seemingly got printed behind his eyelids. “It’s none of your business.” Jaebum grumbled back, not bothering to take the earbuds off his ears.

 He then watched with admirable detachment the way Jinyoung maneuvered the wooden chair before him just so he could sit down on it next--needless to say, uninvitedly. The man always moved with such grace it got on Jaebum’s nerves sometimes.

 Jinyoung was wearing glasses today. Those square, horn-rimmed glasses he only wore on the days he had English Literature classes before lunchtime. Jaebum was ashamed to know that much, but he once again blamed it on the fact that, for being rivals, they’d to keep up with each other’s activities as for not to get suddenly overthrown in their never-ending dispute of being the best in everything.

 It’s a stupid excuse, of very little depth and meaning, but it worked better than saying Jaebum got to know about it after watching Jinyoung around the campus for enough weeks to get the pattern figured by now.

“I didn’t say it was.” Jinyoung retorted, heavily dumping his messenger bag on the table. Jaebum happened to have just unplugged one of his earbuds then (begrudgingly, after realizing that Jinyoung wasn’t leaving without forcing a conversation on them), and so the loud thud of the bag hitting the wood made him wince. “You look like someone hit you with a truck and then spat on your face.”

 It seemed likely. With his luck, the truck would’ve insurance and he’d have to pay for an inexistent damage on it in the near future. Jaebum’s head kind of throbbed when he raised it from where it’s been resting over his arm, so he grimaced and rested it back down, this time over the tabletop instead, mouth squished by cool surface as he mumbled back, “And what does it have to do with you?”

 Surprisingly enough--and really, that must’ve been the result of picking fights with Jinyoung for great part of their very existences--Jaebum didn’t have to look the guy in the eye to know he had this weirdly sadistic gaze coloring his irises a distinct shade of dark-brown as he bragged, “Only me can spit on you.”

 Jaebum didn’t know if he should take that as a twisted peace offering, a wicked pointed jab, or just don’t take that at all. He sighed heavily, reaching blindly for his backpack so he could hide his once again grimacing face onto its folds and creases. Might as well just ignore that comment and Jinyoung’s presence altogether.

 One moment went by in blissful silence, only the usual hustle of the cafeteria and the faint melody of _“Untitled (How Does It Feel)”_ coming off his left earbud reaching his ears and almost lulling him to a greatly needed nap. But then, it all snapped when he felt a not exactly light prod on the top of his head. He tried to ignore it, too, and it’d have worked if it weren’t for Jinyoung’s annoying voice ringing right across from him again. “That’s my bag.”

 Jaebum leaned back, frowned at the light-colored material of what he had caged and crumpled in between his arms, and then grumbled under his breath while frustratedly pushing the bag away from himself. He didn’t feel like grabbing his own bag right away now, so he just supported both elbows up on the table and hung his head over his hands. Christ, he was so fucking exhausted he was starting to act weird. What wouldn’t he give for a quality sleeping time right now.

 And damned Park Jinyoung wouldn’t just leave him alone, seeming genuinely entertained by his state of misery. Jaebum was so sure he’d be even more amused if he discovered he was one (if not the main) of the motives why Jaebum was having such a hard time. Another good reason for him to never get word of this. It’d be a living hell if Jinyoung ever found out about the sudden interest Jaebum had developed on his hands.

 Hands that have now grabbed Jinyoung’s messenger bag from the middle of the table, worked slender fingers across the zipper to pull it open, and then slipped inside to rummage it in search of something Jaebum didn’t have the slightest clue of what. They moved so smoothly. Jaebum couldn’t help wondering whether they were as soft as they looked like.

 His brain instantly supplied dream-modified images of them skirting over the dip of an equally soft-looking neck to ease his doubts. Jaebum sighed. He would have to force his drooping eyes away from those artistically inspiring fingers if he wanted to try catching any sleep later that night.

 Rubbing the heel of both hands over his eyes, he irritably revealed, if only to distract himself from his own thoughts, “Haven’t been sleeping well these days.”

 Jinyoung piped up at that, eventually meeting his gaze with an eyebrow raised. “These days?”

 Hell, he must be looking really awful for Jinyoung to catch him in his lies that fast. And his mouth chose that moment to fall open around a heavy yawn that shook him so hard from head-to-toe that it almost knocked him out of his chair. Yep, he definitely looked wrecked. Maybe he needed another cup of coffee to keep himself from fatigue-fainting.

 Picking his own backpack to fish out a few bucks from the front pocket, just so he could waste them in the coffee machine across the hall again, he sniffed. “These weeks.”

 Jinyoung scoffed. “Something specific pulling that trigger or just the usual ‘end of course’ hustle?”

“Something along the lines of both, I guess.” The scrapping of his chair over the floor got drowned by the sound of someone’s laughter erupting from the table nearby. Jaebum shot them an ugly glance. What were they so happy for, honestly. It must be good to sleep properly without having weird dreams about the upsettingly pretty hands of someone you were supposed to hate and be enemies with.

 Jinyoung’s eyes were still on him as he loomed over the table they shared. It’s only then that Jaebum noticed how Jinyoung’s overgrown hair was pulled back and into a small man bun. Since it’s loosely tied in the back of his head, some raven-black strands fell from it to frame his face in a very delicate manner. A pair of large ears peeked from between the myriad of messy tresses, held those nerdy glasses in place by its temples tips.

 Jaebum stared at Jinyoung unblinkingly for one moment too long, nearly flinching upon noticing how awkward and creepy that must’ve seemed, and then proceeded to clumsily gather his things and the many empty foam cups he’s been collecting up until then. Once he was done, he slung the straps of his backpack over one shoulder. Ready to go.

 It surely was an aftereffect of those dreams, and how they made him see Jinyoung under a new light nowadays, this sudden and completely new desire of being nice and friendly saying goodbye he was having now. He knew it was stupid; he and Jinyoung didn’t have that kind of relationship, they shouldn’t act friendly to one another. Even so, he caught himself considering it.

 And Jinyoung seemed to have noticed it, because he didn’t stop staring at him for one freaking second as he hovered by the table. It’s like he was anticipating his next movement--daring him to move. Jaebum felt bothered by something in that whole scenario, something didn’t feel right, and he suddenly dropped his eyes to fix a glare on those hands again. They were still sunk deep inside the messenger bag. Jaebum thanked god for that.

 Swallowing his want to treat Jinyoung like something else than his rival, Jaebum pursed his lips and decidedly walked away, opting for just doesn’t saying anything. On his way out, he threw his mess of foam cups away in a trash bin, choosing to head to his next (and last) class of the day instead of stopping by the coffee machine again. Jinyoung didn’t share this one class with him. Thankfully.

 Right before leaving the cafeteria, Jaebum still caught sight of Jinyoung slipping what looked like a wallet back into his messenger bag and zipping it up. The last thing he saw before stepping outside into the campus’ garden was the way Jinyoung stood up and left their table too, heading to the opposite direction.

 There’s no way Jaebum could know that Jinyoung might’ve been having thoughts similar to his and just wanted to, who knows, get some coffee together. There’s no way Jinyoung could know that Jaebum might’ve accepted it, after all.

 

 The encounter with Jinyoung might’ve been of some good, regardless. Not entirely, of course, but Jaebum finally managed to fall asleep that night, after much struggle and some sleeping pills he bought off the drugstore near his studio apartment.

 Unfortunately, it hasn’t been a dreamless sleep the one he fell into. Quite the opposite, actually. Jaebum’s mind spent every hour of its much needed rest creating fantasies with a certain pair of incredibly gorgeous hands, producing surprisingly descriptive details of fingers, knuckles and even neatly trimmed nails. When he woke up the next day, it was with and unrestrained desire to create.

 Before good sense could catch up, he drowsily scrambled out of bed and went to get his tools, putting himself to work on the rectangular piece of white marble he’d set up somewhere in his cramped living room. It’s funny how he stood then, contemplating the stone while holding a mallet and a chisel with his ass naked, but he didn’t really mind his current state of undress in that moment. The drive of putting his mind on that piece was everything he could care about.

 Jaebum didn’t usually make clay sketches for his works, choosing instead to jump right to the final stage and chipping away big chunks of stone on impulse, guided by his memory and only that. Many of his works were lost like that--carved too much; the angle wasn’t right; it didn’t come out as good as it’d looked in his mind--but he liked the thrill of creating on the spot, with even the smallest slip being enough to ruin the whole thing. The uncertainty was exhilarating.

 Of course, when it came to bigger, more important projects (like his final one for college), he’d follow the rules and steps accordingly. But, when he was free to create, the feeling of having only one chance to make it right had the better of him, and he would get high on it over and over again.

 The fine details of Jinyoung’s hands haunted the depths of his subconscious, posing so beautifully before his closed eyelids every time he blinked, guiding his hands to craft the material in the right way. One entire morning and half an afternoon were spent on that. By the time dusk started to fall, he was putting the finishing touches on the details. That had to be the fastest piece of work he’s ever done.

 When the sky faded from salmon to navy blue, sprinkling stars over the horizon like sugar on a cinnamon donut, Jaebum hasn’t ingested anything safe for a few grapes, but his new work was done. By then, his senses were back to the way they should, and he watched with certain despair how perfectly he’d done Jinyoung’s hands justice. Even his prominent veins were accurate.

 Drunk on the ecstatic feeling of finishing a piece, Jaebum reverently dragged his fingertips along the cold surface of those inanimate knuckles. Those fingers required a very gentle approach, and the pose Jaebum had carved them in was one of reaching out for something that seemed far, far way. He chuckled, alone in his apartment with what looked like a severed hand on his dusted grasp. Jinyoung was making him go insane.

 As if in a trance, Jaebum slid his fingers in between those static ones, threading them together and closing his hand around the cool, opaque stone. He watched the scene unveiling before him somewhat in an out-of-body experience, and for a moment, he tried to imagine the warmth and softness of Jinyoung’s skin just so he could project it into the sculpture in his hold.

 It didn’t work, not quite Jaebum wanted it to, and the frustration that consumed him right then curled viciously in his empty stomach in the form of a hot wave of rage. In an outburst, he grabbed the piece and threw it against the closest wall.

 The cacophony of harsh sounds that followed it wasn’t agreeable. The shattered pieces of marble scattered on his living room floor looked sort of aesthetic, anyway.

 

 Next time Jaebum had to drag himself out of his apartment and attend college, it’s for his last craft class of the month. They usually had a total of two of those classes in a month, one in the first week and another in the last, therefore missing either of them wasn’t something Jaebum could afford. Even if that meant he got to see Jinyoung playing with marble for the entire duration of it.

 There was a part of Jaebum that hoped that maybe Jinyoung wouldn’t make it to today’s class, and his stomach felt funny with anticipation throughout his entire bus ride to the campus, but even before he could enter the building and head to the workshop they’d be using today, he already felt the man’s presence in there somehow. Ever since he’s found his most overpowering inspiration in those pretty, artistic hands, it felt like Jinyoung was present in every step he took.

 And then, when Jaebum entered the wide room, there Jinyoung was to confirm his fears, polishing and skirting slender fingers across the pale stone until the details became more and more apparent on his work. Jinyoung has been working on an exquisite small statue of a dove with its wings graciously spread for the last couple of classes.

 Jaebum knew it’s just to kill time--since he’s been working on this statue of a horse himself for the very same motive--yet he couldn’t help thinking that it looked really fancy for just a training piece. Jinyoung’s excellence and amazing skills usually tended to be directly reflected on his works (even on the most basic ones) so Jaebum really shouldn’t be surprised all that much. Still, he considered the small dove from afar with bitter respect.

 With another furtive glance at Jinyoung, he noticed that the horn-rimmed glasses were gone (and Jaebum really tried not to feel disappointed about not getting to see them today, even though he already knew Jinyoung didn’t have English Literature class on Mondays), but the small man bun was still there, if only tied a little higher than the last time.

 The apron Jinyoung used to protect his clothes was already dusted with white, looking pretty much like soft flour got sprinkled all over his chest and lap, and so did his pretty hands. The very sight of them was enough to take Jaebum’s breath away, and he felt himself clenching his jaw tightly before making a beeline for the seat as farthest from Jinyoung as possible.

 Jaebum wasn’t in the mood to work with marble today, what with how that’s the only thing he’s been doing for the past month as his mind wouldn’t give him a break from recreating the shape of Jinyoung’s fingers over and over again. The only option he had then was to create something with clay, as in pottery.

 The only problem was that Jaebum was absolutely the worst in it.

 After that time he’d tried to make this tall clay pot and Jinyoung suddenly appeared by his side to say it looked like he was molding a dick, he got traumatized and never tried again. The goofy laughter the fucker had given him before walking away to mind his own business then still rang on Jaebum’s ears from time to time. Jinyoung was insufferable.

 Still, he couldn’t just spend all those 90 minutes doing nothing, so he opted for waiting for their professor to arrive just so he could talk to her about his final project. Which he still didn’t know what would be, but that has been taking the form of a very familiar pair of hands the more he tried working on it. Jaebum honestly hoped his professor could help him getting his final project back on track before their last semester--whatever track that might be.

 Glancing at the clock, he realized the class would only begin in 10 minutes, and so he curled in his seat with a sigh while fishing his notebook from his backpack. Might as well do some drawing to distract his mind in the meanwhile.

 What proved to be an incredibly dumb move, because five minutes into his mindless sketching and he noticed how the profile he’s drawing was the one of a man with large ears and long hair pulled into a bun. Jaebum almost released a hysteric laugh before angrily yanking the paper from his spiral-bound notebook and crumpling it in his fist. Now, that was starting to get ridiculous.

 When their professor walked in the workshop a few minutes later, Jaebum practically knocked his chair back as he leaped from his seat to go crowd her against her desk. The poor woman was so shocked when he suddenly loomed over her--quite frantic with nerves--she nearly spilled her coffee.

“Professor,” Jaebum heaved, sounding desperate and anxious even to his own ears. He tried to tone it down a little, clearing his throat and taking a small step back since the woman was subtly leaning away from him while trying to reach her desk and hide behind it. “Professor,” he tried again. “Do you have a minute? I need to discuss something with you, if that’s alright.”

“Uh…” she blinked, seemingly coming to terms with Jaebum’s eccentricity, and looked away to survey the rest of the class. Once deciding that everyone else looked engrossed enough in their own projects, hence not needing her guidance anymore, she focused her attention back on the fidgety guy before her.

 This time, she regarded him with the usual patience and assurance that always made her students cling to her like a lifeline. “I, yes, of course, of course. Sit down.”

 Jaebum did as he was told, sinking onto the hard chair as his professor sipped from her coffee and swept another glance around the class before proceeding to do the same. The shaped stain of her orangish lipstick sat around the edge of her foam cup when she placed it on top of the desk.

“I want to talk about my final project.” Jaebum eventually revealed. His professor nodded and hummed at that, prompting him to keep going. He grinded his teeth, the strain on the muscles of his jaw leaving a faint throb behind. “It’s almost my last semester, and I have no freaking clue of what to do. I’ve tried many things already, but none seemed interesting enough to keep me going. Now I’m in the middle of an artist’s block and the time is running out, I’m—I’m in despair.”

 The look on his professor’s strikingly green eyes was really reassuring, just like the small smile she flashed him before, once again, nodding her head in understanding. “Ah, so that’s what this is about. I know it can be overwhelming. I would find it weird if you weren’t freaking out about it, to be honest.”

 Jaebum gaped at her with a mixture of relief and surprise coloring his expression. “Really?”

“Yep.” She picked up her coffee and sipped it again. “Final projects are always a fucking pain in the ass- oh, sorry,” color spread on her cheeks at the slip, tattooed hand going up to shut her mouth on a reflex. Jaebum shook his head, softly dismissing the apology with a wave as if saying it wasn’t necessary.

 And it really didn’t. It wasn’t a secret to anyone how the woman had the dirtiest mouth on the campus and would insert at least one curse in her sentences. No one minded it in the slightest, but she’d still get embarrassed whenever she accidently ended up cursing in front of her students.

“Anyway,” she moved on with the topic, “final projects are _hard_ , it’s ok to get frustrated and feel hopeless and freak out. Everyone feel pressured at some point, and like, this is where most of artist’s blocks come from, isn’t it? From the pressure of deadlines, or just the general pressure of having to produce something. It’s human nature. Don’t torment yourself too much because of it.”

“Still, I have to present something by the end of the year, and I haven’t even started on anything yet!” Jaebum insisted, and he was fully aware of how it sounded like he was whining. “I can’t seem to find inspiration nowhere now.”

 It really felt like an ironic joke, how Jinyoung choose that very moment to suddenly appear by his side. It’s as if destiny and karma were shaking hands now, manipulating the universe to put the guy right in front of him then in a way that said, _Well, if it’s inspiration what you want, here you go!_

 Jaebum hated it, and he almost flinched at sensing the guy stopping a few feet away from him. He did his absolute best to keep a stoic face as the whole left side of his face burned, another way the cosmos found to tell him that Jinyoung was currently staring at his profile. It seemed like a big conspiration against him by now.

 His professor tore her emerald eyes away from Jaebum to fix them on the third party that had just entered the scene. Jaebum focused on the awaiting smile he saw forming on the woman’s lips instead of relenting to the urge of turning his head around and glaring at Jinyoung just for existing and being there and have the hell of absurdly enchanting hands.

“I’m done.” Jinyoung’s voice bloomed from somewhere on his left, and this time, Jaebum did glance in his direction. The small sculpture of the dove was sitting snugly on cupping palms, wings stretching upwards as if it’s a about to take off. It looked quite cute from up-close, that much Jaebum could admit.

“Oh!” Came the appreciative squeal, dutifully followed by a soft cooing as their professor reached out with her hands outstretched in a silent request to hold it. One moment later, and Jaebum watched her holding the piece and grinning fondly down at it. “Aw, it’s so cute, look at this little buddy! You did a good job, Jinyoung. The details look fantastic.”

 Even without looking, Jaebum just knew Jinyoung wore this proud, smug smirk on his naturally pouty lips while puffing out his chest like a pigeon. The man was the hell of a compliment seeker--Jaebum would often catch himself wondering whether that condition extended enough as to evolve into a praise kink or not. That was none of his business, though, so he let the thought go.

“Are you gonna engage in another project now?” The woman asked, still smiling at the carved stone weighting on her palms. “You have the rest of the period free, so you can either kill time with something else or work on another project. How’s your final one going? Use the rest of the class to work on it.”

“It’s going well, I actually am giving it the finishing touches now. It’s almost done, too.” Jinyoung announced with a gushing lilt to his voice, and then Jaebum could feel the side of his face tingling with heat again. In a knee-jerk movement, he reached up to play with the many silver rings and piercings he carried on the corresponding ear; a nervous habit he’d developed along the years.

 It didn’t take much for him to realize Jinyoung was bragging about having his final project on its last stage already--and what’s worse, bragging about it specially to him. The fucker must’ve listened to their talk as he approached them, hence the superior aura that came off of him in waves now. Because, it’s always a competition between the two of them, and right at that moment, Jinyoung had the advantage.

 Jaebum clenched his jaw, finally turning around to give Jinyoung the satisfaction of seeing realization swimming in his eyes. And just when their gazes finally met, the lopsided grin that already tugged at the corners of the guy’s lips, became impossibly wider. Jinyoung went as far as to lift one eyebrow in challenge, daring him to say something or maybe even protest, mock etching every corner of his expression.

 Jaebum scowled, turning back around with an indignant huff and letting his left hand fall back onto his lap. He’d never give Jinyoung the honor of having him biting back a snarky remark at that just out of jealousy. To pretend it wasn’t all that much of a big deal was the best thing to do. Jinyoung hated when Jaebum brushed off his accomplishments as if they were nothing; he’d always pout and walk away stomping his feet.

 This time, though, Jinyoung was already aware of how internally fuming Jaebum was, so he just kept his smug grin on and rocked back and forth on his feet, looking like a happy child waiting for their ice-cream.

“That’s good news, good news.” Their professor said after a while, not really showing any signs of having noticed the ongoing rivalry between the two men standing before her. She simply hummed and handed Jinyoung his marble dove back. “Well. You’re free to do whatever you want then. Good job, kid.”

“Thank you.” Jinyoung bowed with a flourish, voice sweet like honey. He cradled the sculpture in his hands and then walked away without another word (or teasing glance) in Jaebum’s direction. Jaebum sighed, crossing his arms. It wasn’t like he wanted the guy to address him anyway.

“Jaebum,” the complacent tone of his professor’s voice caught his attention, and he was almost awaiting a comment about how he had behaved around Jinyoung, but it seemed like she either didn’t care or hasn’t really noticed anything out of ordinary in that interaction since the next thing she said was, “about your project, you said you’ve tried many things already and none was interesting enough, right?”

 Jaebum frowned softly, needing a few more seconds to take his mind back to the topic they’re previously discussing. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Stick to them.” She shrugged. “To those uninteresting things you’ve tried. Work on them; if not to develop the idea further, at least to keep your mind busy and your skills sharp. You can have some insightful idea in the middle of it, who knows? Just refrain from giving up on them.

“Even if you start your project--let’s say, next week--you’ll still have plenty of time to finish it before the end of this course. Summer vacations are just around the corner, after all. You can work on your project during your days off.” The confident spark that lit up her eyes was bright enough to make Jaebum believe in everything that she’s saying, so he humbly took the advice and filed it away for later use.

 The woman surely knew how to motivate her students, even if she hasn’t given Jaebum any proper clue of what to do for his project. For the moment, he’s still stuck with Jinyoung’s hands, but he somehow believed that things would turn out alright with time. The key was not giving up.

 Jaebum stood up from his seat, flashing one last sincerely thankful smile to his professor before saying, “Okay. Thank you for listening to me, professor. I’ll keep on working on them until I think about something else.”

“You’re welcome, Jaebum.” She answered, and Jaebum spun on his heels with a sense of finality. Well, he could indeed work something out during summer vacations, and since his professor said that that would still leave him with plenty of time to finish it, it’s all good. One step after the other.

 Jaebum meant to start walking away, but before he could give the first step, his professor called him again. “And, Jaebum,” her voice was slight quieter now, and Jaebum turned his head to look back at her. “Maybe you should consider asking one of your classmates for help, that is, if you don’t feel like bearing with the weight of it all alone. Someone who already have their project almost done. Like Jinyoung, for example.” She gave him a knowing smile, and then dismissed him with a soothing, “Think about it, kid.”

 Jaebum stared dumbly at her for another minute before forcing his body to unfreeze and resume its goal of walking back to his seat, her words ringing in his ears like warning bells. He couldn’t fathom why she’d bring Jinyoung (of all people) up and imply that Jaebum should ask him for help, but he still felt stripped bare and uncomfortably obvious in his creepiness right then.

 There’s this tiny voice trying to placate his nerves by telling him that his professor has probably only said that because (a) Jinyoung had shared that he was almost done with his own project already, and (b) she was just trying to be helpful; it didn’t have anything to do with the surreptitious way Jaebum kept stealing glances from the guy every once in a while.

 And Jaebum tried to believe in it--he really did--but out of spite and childish stubbornness, he still filed that advise away as one of those he’d never consider taking, ever. Jinyoung couldn’t help him. He’s done _enough_ already.

 On his way back to his seat at the far back of the workshop, Jaebum caught Jinyoung’s gaze following him as he walked. Unable to hold himself, he raised his eyebrows in question, only to have them settling back into a confused frown at seeing Jinyoung looking mild embarrassed for getting caught staring.

 Jinyoung looked away first, pretending to be super interested in one of the clay sculptures set for examples on the shelf. Jaebum didn’t know what to make of that reaction, but it irked him for some reason anyway, so he just went for his seat and ignored the other for the rest of the period.

 


	2. Pragmatic Metamorphosis

 It wasn’t usual, but there were times when Jaebum’s classes would take place during the evenings instead of mornings. Waking up early to go to college wasn’t something he particularly liked, but spending half of his afternoon and entire night being lectured about a subject that wasn’t even supposed to be on his course’s grade, that was something he liked way less.

 Hence the brooding mood with which he entered the classroom that Friday night (an obligatory class on a Friday night, for god’s sake). Everyone in the room seemed to reciprocate the feeling anyway.

 Jaebum sat somewhere in the middle of the classroom, three rows of desks by his right and four by his left. There were many empty chairs still, the clock hung high on the wall indicating almost 20 minutes left to their scheduled lecture. It’d be nice to have a friend who he could make some small talk with while waiting for their professor then, but Jaebum’s always been a reclusive, and the few potential friends he’d made throughout the years had already quit the course a few semesters prior. Therefore, it’s only him.

 It usually didn’t bother him--not to have someone who he could talk to in there, that is--but today of all days, he was feeling especially lonely while watching the various groups of friends chitchatting around the room, wistfully.

“What’s with that ugly woeful face? ‘Bout to cry, are we?” A familiar voice chirped from afar, and just as soon, Jaebum was taken out of his blue state to glare fire in the direction of the hateful being that always managed to piss him off. Jinyoung visibly beamed at his now sour expression. “Now, that’s better!”

 Jinyoung happily took the last few steps in his direction, and when Jaebum realized the guy was aiming for the seat right beside him, he made quick work of clumsily throwing his own backpack over the chair. The classroom was gradually becoming more filled with people now, but there still were a couple of seats here and there. Jinyoung couldn’t possibly think sitting beside him was the only option he had.

 However, it seemed like he did think that that was the option he most wanted to choose, because after one moment looking back and forth between Jaebum and his backpack on the chair, the guy unceremoniously reached down and threw the bag onto the floor. Jaebum watched in shocked silence as Jinyoung calmly sat down on the seat he’s just gotten vacant, an unaffected smile tugging at his plush lips.

 Once he shook himself out of his stupor, Jaebum hastily grabbed his backpack from the floor and held it to his chest as if it was an infant, looking at Jinyoung with eyes widened in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just threw my things on the floor, you- what if there’s something breakable in it?” At Jinyoung’s uninterested shrug, he groaned. “Fuck, you’re such a—”

“Be nice.” Jinyoung cooed.

“—an _asshole_!” Jaebum’s voice broke with nerves, and it’s a good thing he could only focus on trying not to jump on Jinyoung’s neck right then, because there were at least six pairs of eyes staring at him after he nearly yelled the last word. It’d be embarrassing, that is, if Jaebum cared.

 The worst was that, now, Jinyoung was outright chuckling while putting his messenger bag on the desk to fish his books out of it, not taking Jaebum’s annoyance seriously at all. And in his most childish outburst, Jaebum pursed his lips and fumbled with the outer pocket of his backpack, picking up the first thing he found--an eraser--and throwing it at Jinyoung.

 He felt mildly satisfied by the small surprised whine Jinyoung did just then, and the sharp look that landed on him afterwards only made him smirk. Before any of them could make another move, though, the professor rushed into the room and greeted everyone good evening. The class was about to start.

 Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at Jaebum one last time and then turned to the front, raising his chin and pointedly looking forward as if to say, _don’t talk to me_. Jaebum was ready to comply.

 The professor still spent the rest of his 15 minutes before the class officially started chatting with the few students sitting in the front desks, idly discussing about some topic Jaebum wasn’t interesting in. When the clock finally struck nine, the middle-aged man finally cleared his throat and addressed the entire classroom.

“As you all very well know, we’re schedule to be discussing about the politics system during Middle Ages,” he announced, and Jaebum instantly slumped on his chair. Feudalism has never been a topic he had much interest in, after all. “But. I thought that, since your class’s chosen theme for this year’s final project is marble sculptures and you’ll have to finish it by next semester, we could very well discuss about this today.” At this, Jaebum brightened up with surprise. “So, consider this class as an, um, unwinding one. The theme today is, sculptures and their periods.”

 That wasn’t as bad as talking about politics systems, and Jaebum was really fond of that theme, but talking about sculptures and seeing one after the other when he’s so sure his mind would play tricks on him and imagine Jinyoung in every of them… that didn’t sound much propitious. That sounded pretty much like a bad idea.

 In any case, he took a deep breath and put himself to pay attention on the lecture. It’s better than paying attention to how Jinyoung kept putting a few rebel strands of dark hair behind his ear every once in a while, anyway.

“These two pieces,” the professor opened two images on his laptop and projected it to the whole class on the white board. Jaebum was so lost stealing glances from his rival he didn’t see when the older man had turned the projector on and started to display random images on the board until then. Damn it.

 The first image was of a woman perched on a man’s lap--not quite on his lap, really, she was more like perched on one of his legs while desperately trying to escape from his grasp, pushing at his head and with her body twisted away from him. The second one was pretty much similar to the first, just that it were two men instead of one--one man holding her, and the other kneeling on the ground, serving as some sort of support to the former.

 The two sculptures were obviously alike, transmitting the same kind of feeling. Jaebum knew them from the art books he so desperately read back in freshman year. It wasn’t hard to see where his professor was going with all of that once you already had the background to those pieces.

“The first piece, is called _‘The Rape of Proserpina’_. The second, is _‘The Rape of The Sabine Women’_.” Turning to the class, their professor prompted, “the similarities between them speak for themselves, both in meaning and appearance, but what I want to know is, what is different in the artistic aspect?”

“They date from different periods, for one.” Jaebum heard Jinyoung speaking beside him. Jinyoung would always thrive for attention, almost stuttering in his haste to be the first one to participate in class. Jaebum rolled his eyes. “One is from Baroque, and the other, from Renaissance.”

“Exactly. Many people tend to think, foolishly, that every sculpture made out of marble dates from Renaissance due to Michelangelo’s high influence, but that is hardly truth. Many, many great pieces date from other periods, just like the Baroque, so we gotta keep an eye on that so we won’t embarrass ourselves in the face of someone who truly understands of the matter.”

 The professor went on with the subject, but Jaebum tuned him out in favor of becoming hyperaware of Jinyoung, who was subtly leaning towards him for whatever reason. Tensing, he waited with bated breath as the other turned in his direction just so he could look back at him with a wicked smirk on his mouth.

“Just like that time you thought _‘Apollo and Daphne’_ dated from the Renaissance, even though you knew very well it’s a Bernini piece.” Jinyoung mocked, tone purposely low for just Jaebum to hear, as if he were teasing him for a dirty secret only the two of them should know about.

 And Jaebum knew what that was about, burning color instantly rising to his cheeks and spreading allover his face in reminiscence, at the memory that now danced in front of his mind.

 They were at freshman year still, and differently from Jinyoung who got a perfect A in their first History of Art test, Jaebum got a B for writing down that aforementioned sculpture dated from aforementioned period, right after having just answered another question with a perfect description of how Bernini was one of the greatest sculptors of Baroque period.

 It’s been just a slip up, really; Jaebum got distracted by something he didn’t remember all that clearly now, but. As soon as Jinyoung furtively glanced at his scored test a few days later during class, catching where he’d answered wrongly and why, he wouldn’t stop giggling and chuckling meanly at him for the entire week.

 It wasn’t a big deal, but Jinyoung made it to be. And even now, almost five years later, he still would bring that back and look at Jaebum with that knowing, conspiratory gaze that felt way too intimate for some reason. Jaebum hated it, but he couldn’t stop the warm wave of nostalgia that crashed over him now.

 Doing his utmost best not to blush further while still under the annoyingly amused stare of Jinyoung, Jaebum frowned and looked away, glaring at the new image projected on the white board. “Fuck off, Jinyoung.”

 Jinyoung, as already expected of him, only laughed with one hand up to hide his mouth. Jaebum did _not_ steal an irritated glance at those perfectly outlined fingers then.

 

 When the class ended, Jaebum felt especially drained. He realized kinda late how putting all his mind and willpower onto ignoring Jinyoung’s very presence beside him was probably way more tiresome than surrendering to the urge of burning the side of his face and those damned hands with glares.

 By the time the professor dismissed them, he could practically hear each of his sore and stiff muscles groan in relief. He couldn’t wait for the burning hot shower he’d be taking as soon as he reached home later. Hopefully, all the muscle knots would get loose after that, and he’d rest just fine for the entire weekend.

 The only problem was that, since it’s their last day of the semester, his classmates had something different in mind for that rightfully commemorative Friday night.

“Hey!” One of his classmates approached him as he gathered his things to leave. Jaebum didn’t remember his name, but they’d done some project together a few semesters ago. “Since today’s our last day before our final semester--can you believe that?! that’s so cool--we decided to, like, go out and have some drinks together at the pub across the street. You wanna join? It’ll be fun, and today is karaoke night!”

 Jaebum wasn’t sure how it being karaoke night would help anything in convincing him to go, but he hummed, nonetheless. That kind of things always happened before school break; someone inviting Jaebum for things he didn’t feel like doing or going, and him declining it in the most polite way he could manage only to keep thinking about _‘what if’_ s for the rest of the month.

 This time, he felt like it wouldn’t be any different, the sketch of an excuse already forming in his mind as his eyes darted aimlessly across the room, in search of anything that could help him softly refuse the invite without it seeming too obvious that he just didn’t want to go.

 What he wasn’t counting on with, however, was how his eyes decided to focus on Jinyoung at that right moment and stay there for a moment too long, taking in the way the guy calmly slipped his books into his messenger bag, apparently aloof from the conversation going on beside him.

 And what’s worst, the Inviting Dude seemed to notice Jaebum’s sudden turn of attention as well, then proceeding to curiously look over his shoulder to see what that was. In the next moment, the guy was whipping his head back in Jaebum’s direction with such enthusiasm it snapped Jaebum out of his trance, making him look back at the other as well, eyes slight widened.

“Dude,” the guy said, one impossibly wide grin splitting his face, “of course you can bring your man along! I was just about to ask him to join us, by the way. Everyone is welcome, for real.”

 Two things struck Jaebum then. One, the amazing way how with just one look the Inviting Dude assumed that Jaebum was only hesitating to accept the invitation because he wanted to go with Jinyoung, and the latter hasn’t been invited yet.

 That was absurd for so many reasons, but the guy seemed sure in his discover, so Jaebum couldn’t really understand how he got from one point to another and linked them together. Maybe the same way he linked karaoke with fun and a way to persuade Jaebum to go. There’s no how to know that.

 And two, the fact that he referred to Jinyoung as _“your man”._ Jaebum’s man. He knew that that was one way of calling the other his friend, one of his mates, one of his _dudes_ (and so on). It indeed was one way of putting them together, as in the sense of hanging out and just spending time with one another. Jaebum _knew_ that.

 However, his brain wouldn’t stop repeating _your man, your man, your man_ as in the ridiculous sense of them being a couple of sorts. That irked him to the point that made his throat close with panic, and it’s funny how the first feeling he compared that one with was the one that embraced him the day he realized he’s found his inspiration in the lines of Jinyoung’s knuckles. He felt like he was jumping out of his skin in both cases.

 Two things had struck him then, and while that first one was already plain weird in itself, the second all but left him spluttering like a fish out of water. Them both settled in his stomach like acid. “It’s- it’s not—”

“I’ll invite the other guys too, so we’ll all meet there in ten minutes, ok?” The other cut him as if that was already settled, turning around so he could address Jinyoung as well as he added, “see you two there, alright? It’s gonna be fun!”

 And just like that, he left. Jaebum still saw him doing more friendly rounds all around the classroom--and now that he’s gone, Jaebum faintly remembers his name to be either Junsu or Jeonsu--but right now, he’s way more preoccupied with how he was left to fend for himself with a very confused looking Jinyoung.

 Jinyoung didn’t even dignify him with a proper question, no; the annoying little shit simply crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side, dark-brown eyes narrowing. Jaebum scowled.

“He- misunderstood.” He offered lamely. “He saw me looking at you, and thought I was only going if you were too. Well, he did say he’s about to invite you as well, so I guess you’d be brought into this either way.”

“And why were you looking at me?” It’s what Jinyoung asked, despite everything. Apparently, the fact that Jaebum was looking his way in the first place was a thousand times more puzzling to Jinyoung than someone demanding both their presences in that celebration on the pub. Jaebum, weirdly enough, understood him.

 Yet, not ever one to back away from an opportunity to bicker with Jinyoung, Jaebum shot back, “Because I have eyes.” He truly sounded and looked like a child at that moment, what earned him this beyond irritating grimace Jinyoung did while mimicking him in plain mockery. They both looked like children then.

 Jaebum won their childish battle eventually, sticking his tongue out and turning around to resume putting his things into his bag. From behind him, he could hear the clicking of a tongue and Jinyoung’s unamused voice grumbling, “Charming. I almost believed you’re really five years old.”

 Jaebum pretended he didn’t care, but he still had to fight down the very unwelcome smile that wanted to crawl to his lips. That definitely wasn’t the time to find the fun in Jinyoung’s antics.

“So, what’s this thing I’ve been forced to go because of you?” Jinyoung prodded when Jaebum didn’t show signs of keeping the talk going himself. Well. He indeed did not want the talk to keep going.

“If you don’t want to go, just don’t go.” Jaebum grumbled, zipping up his bag and slinging both straps over one shoulder. Jinyoung patiently watched the movement before glaring at him, silently demanding an answer. Jaebum huffed out a breath. “Apparently, everyone will be meeting up at the bar across the street to drink and sing, since it’s karaoke night.”

 At this, Jinyoung seemed to tense, expression melting from his previous scowl to a thoughtful myriad of emotions. It’s one of the rare times Jaebum got to see the other looking that unsure and hesitant about something, so he watched the way Jinyoung would chew on his lower lip as he got lost in his own mind with enraptured attention.

 Eventually--and Jaebum really didn’t know what brought him to do that--Jinyoung shared quietly, “This is like one of those activities friends usually do together to have fun, right? The ones they show a lot in dramas?” He blinked thrice. “I’ve never been invited- much less sang in a karaoke before.”

“Of course you haven’t, since you need to have friends to be invited to these kind of things, and you have none. And, c’mon, no one wants to listen to you speaking, let alone singing.” Jaebum mocked before allowing the almost shy tone that embraced Jinyoung’s confession to fully sink in, even letting a few snickers out until he got to see the look on the other’s eyes. It wasn’t playful, neither was it annoyed like the usual. It’s just… appalled, somehow.

 Suddenly, the thought that Jaebum _really_ hasn’t ever seen Jinyoung hanging out with anybody around the campus occurred to him, and he felt something inside of him ache. When they were kids, too, he didn’t recall seeing Jinyoung playing with any friends or anything like that; it’s always him, and him alone. For one moment there, Jaebum had thought that Jinyoung was just as lonely as himself was nowadays, but it didn’t take long for the realization that the other might’ve been completely solitary all his life to strike him.

 Jaebum’s laughter faded away, leaving a compassionate yet guilty frown on its place. Licking his lips, he scrambled to say something, anything, that would chase the deeply hurt look that took over Jinyoung’s pretty, pretty face away. However, Jinyoung beat him onto it, straightening up and mumbling under his breath, “Shut the hell up.”

 As Jaebum watched Jinyoung picking up his things and leaving without another word, he wondered, for the first time in a long time, whether he’d gone too far with this push-pull relationship he had with Jinyoung.

 

 The pub was pretty much what Jaebum has thought it to be on a Friday night: a complete chaos and filled to the brim with overly happy people. The only difference tonight was that the majority of the crowd was squeezed around the small stage set for those who wanted to try singing at the makeshift karaoke the establishment provided. It’s still loud and stuffy as hell, but at least the bar was emptier than the rest.

 And Jaebum had only gone there for the drinks. He surely has _not_ decided to take his classmate up on that invitation only to see if Jinyoung had agreed to go over too. That’d be too ridiculous.

 But since he’s there and had to keep to the bar as for that’s the only less crowded place in the pub, he decided that well, it wouldn’t be wrong to innocently survey the throng of people with his eyes in search of a particular figure. Might as well order something to drink while on it.

 There’s this part of him that knew; it just knew that his behavior regarding Jinyoung was starting to get--in gentler words--worrisome. It wasn’t normal to keep thinking about someone that much, dreaming about them and seeking inspiration in the very sight of them, searching their silhouettes in the crowd just to satiate this strange desire of admiring them one more time and see if they’re okay. It wasn’t normal. Much less when said someone was supposed to be his rival, and the last person he should feel any kind of attraction towards.

 Not that Jaebum was attracted to Jinyoung, no. _No._ If anything, he had this distinct fascination towards the man’s beautiful hands. Only because they truly were pretty.

 All in all, Jaebum was afraid that’s becoming some sort of obsession, and that’s the last thing he wanted. He didn’t want to come off as a creep, but he just couldn’t help letting his eyes glide around the room in hopes of catching a glimpse of a very familiar and loosely tied man bun.

 As the drink he’d ordered sometime ago arrived, he fleetingly thought whether that’s how poets felt in those pieces they hurt over their impossible love. Jaebum sighed, took a sip from the cold fruity cocktail in his hands. He just wished he hadn’t become somewhat infatuated with the idea of Jinyoung altogether.

 Just then, as if catching up on his misery, karma worked its sadist fingers again and put Jinyoung in the scene. Jaebum watched with a pained expression the moment the guy arrived at the pub, crossing the threshold and looking around in a mix of hesitance and awkwardness. Right. Jinyoung most probably didn’t know nobody in there.

 Jaebum didn’t either (safe for two or three people he’s made a few projects with in the past semesters), but then he hasn’t been invited by association like Jinyoung did. Intrigued, he caught himself wondering why the other would even bother to show up there if that’s the case.

 The thought left him as soon as their eyes met across the room, Jinyoung having looked up and dead straight at him as if sensing his gaze. They stared at each other for a moment too long, Jaebum dragging his eyes away first after realizing how a tingly sensation had started to travel up and down his body at the defiance he spotted shining on Jinyoung’s dark orbs even from afar. That wasn’t the time to let himself get carried away, he thought, ordering another drink. The first one wasn’t even finished yet.

 But the thing about being invited by association, was that it kind of tied an invisible bond around the two of them, because Jinyoung wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for Jaebum’s slip up (even though the dude _did_ say he was just about to invite Jinyoung too back in the class, but whatever), and now Jaebum felt responsible for taking him under his wing and offering him some company.

 It did _not_ was another of his excuses to just approach Jinyoung and maybe spend some time together to make up for the unnecessary comment he’d thrown at his face barely half an hour ago. It really did not.

(The thought of hurting Jinyoung, intentionally or unintentionally, curiously perturbed him even more than the one of having to see his enemy winning over him in something. It just felt excruciatingly wrong, and now Jaebum had this agonizing urge to apologize and make sure they’re ‘cool’ again. Not that he’d consciously admit any of that, though.)

 Jaebum tried to be subtle about following Jinyoung’s every move with his sharp, hawk-like gaze. But subtlety wasn’t his forte, and he’s so sure he was coming off as a creep right then, he couldn’t help wincing. Good thing he couldn’t spot Jinyoung’s hands from that angle, or else he’d be a goner.

 Jinyoung came towards the bar as it were already expected--there wasn’t much room to move about near the stage, and the tables were all filled with raucous youngsters--and, as it were also already expected, he passed by Jaebum without even acknowledging his presence. Jinyoung sat a couple of stools away from him, resting his elbows on the countertop and leaning in to place his order onto the bartender.

 Something in that behavior made Jaebum want to grin, but he dutifully swallowed it down along with a great gulp of his newly acquired beverage. This one kinda tasted like cotton candy and liquorice. The strong aftertaste of alcohol still lingered on his tongue, nonetheless.

 Steeling his resolve, he swirled the small decorative umbrella around in his drink and then knocked the rest of its translucent pink content back as one last incentive to do what he’s about to do. The immediate burn that spread down his throat only to expand across his chest made him hiss. He slammed a few notes on the countertop and spun on his stool, standing up and walking the few steps that separated him from where Jinyoung was sitting, stiffly.

 It’s as though Jinyoung felt his presence coming closer, because the moment Jaebum stopped behind him with one leg only a few centimeters away from pressing against the small of his back, he lifted his chin and straightened up. Or maybe that’s just Jinyoung being himself and correcting his posture while on that wobbly stool. Jaebum wouldn’t quite know.

“You came.” Jaebum greeted. Jinyoung hardly reacted to his voice, but Jaebum knew he’d heard him just fine. It’s in the way the guy suddenly started to play with his fingers on the top of the counter, as if he’s anxious. At this behavior, Jaebum did grin.

 It’s only when Jinyoung’s curiously sparkly drink arrived that he said back, “You did, too.” Jaebum took a moment to realize that that beverage was no other than gin and tonic. Well. That’s an interesting choice.

 The hectic and quite feverish background sound of people talking, laughing and singing enveloped them for a few seconds until Jaebum took a deep, mentally preparing breath. “Jinyoung, about what I said earlier, back in class, I—” he started, speaking a bit louder when the noise around them threatened to overlap his voice and ruin his attempt of an apology.

 However, it’s Jinyoung who didn’t let him finish in the end. “Don’t.” He grounded, sounding more resigned than actually scolding. There’s something in that disheartened demeanor that brought an unfamiliar twinge to assault Jaebum’s core, and the pain only worsened when Jinyoung added, “It’s not like you’re wrong, anyway. Nobody stands me for too much time.”

 It’s so upsetting to see Jinyoung belittling himself like that. And it’s so unlike his character, so out of sorts Jaebum felt like holding him by the shoulders and shaking him back to his senses. That was the first time Jaebum saw Jinyoung diminishing himself like that, the embodiment of insecurity. He didn’t like it one bit.

“No, that’s not-, look,” the person sitting beside Jinyoung chose that very moment to stand up and leave with someone else in tow, and Jaebum took that as a heaven’s sign. Once he’d walked around Jinyoung and sat on that previously occupied stool, he made the guy turn to look at him properly by leaning almost entirely over the counter, arm supporting him against the surface and body angled in his direction.

“Look. I know we have this push-and-pull dynamic shit--always fighting and arguing for every little thing--and fuck, we’ve been disputing everything ever since we’re kids, so it’s hella hard for me not to automatically get defensive every time you’re around, but. It fucking _hurts_ me when you look _this_ hurt.”

 Jaebum licked his lips, looking away from the amused curiosity that twinkled in those dark-brown irises of Jinyoung now. “About what I said… it wasn’t my place, nor did I have the right to say that to you. That was just mean, and that’s not how we’re like. I mean. We can fight, and we can call each other names, and we can even mock each other for the things we do… but not like that. We don’t stoop that low.”

 Jinyoung silently took a swig of his drink, seeming to be digesting all that’s been said to him. After what felt like five minutes but that has been probably one, he finally admitted. “Yeah, you were kinda an _asshole_.” Jinyoung made it a point to put a different intonation into the last word, mimicking the way Jaebum had screeched it back in class earlier, just a bit less high-pitched and loud.

 At this, Jaebum chortled heartily. “I know.” He said, softly, and the both of them knew that that’s the same as him saying, _I’m sorry._ Jinyoung accepted it with a small titter of his own, ducking his head to hide a toothless smile behind the few strands of hair that have fallen from his bun and were now brushing against his cheek.

 And that’s the first time Jaebum was just huffing a soft, quiet laugh while talking to Jinyoung, no menace or tease lingering behind the sound. It almost felt like they’re old friends making it up after a petty fight. The thought startled Jaebum, but not as much as the realization that he didn’t mind it all that much. It almost felt… nice.

 But, of course, Jinyoung had to ruin it somehow. And he did, by saying, “Now what, should we kiss and make up?”, voice purposely laced with overwhelming sweetness and full lips lazily going up in a smirk.

 The sudden flirtation almost knocked Jaebum off his stool.

“What? No!” He panicked, eyes frantically darting across every line of expression in that still amused face. Jinyoung calmly took another swig of his gin and tonic while Jaebum’s face burned hot from embarrassment. “N-Nothing changed, I still can’t stand your ass. But, let’s keep this healthy and respectful. No depreciating comments and too harsh remarks. Just the same.”

 Jinyoung hummed, thoughtfully. “Just the same.”

“Yep.” Jaebum nodded his head for emphasis, dragging the _‘p’_ for no reason. The stuffy air in the pub didn’t help his face to cool down, so he just kept on blushing with his heart beating fast for the next minutes shared in silence. Damned Jinyoung.

 Despite the initial shock due to the suddenness of that flirt, Jaebum pretty much brushed it off as just another teasing of his everlasting rival. They’re back to being the enemies they’ve always been, and it’s better this way. Well, at least it’s better than overthinking it and coming up with a whole bunch of possibilities he wouldn’t have the courage to confirm with Jinyoung later on.

 There’s another song being sang in the karaoke now, one of the many _pop_ ones everyone seemed to have a huge liking in, and Jaebum found himself watching Jinyoung’s profile again. Nudging the side of his thigh with one knee, he asked conversationally, “So, you giving karaoke a go tonight?”

“God, no.” Jinyoung barked a laugh as if that was too ridiculous to even consider. “No, no. It’s... too full. Many people that don’t want to listen to me singing.” He quipped, this time devoid of any gloomy edge. He was just saying that to provoke Jaebum.

“Shut up.” Jaebum rolled his eyes, anyway, turning around on his stool so he was facing the crowd all gathered around the big screen. There’s a tall girl using her time on the karaoke now, reading the lyrics of the western song off the golden subtitles while trying to keep herself on the beat. “C’mon.”

 Jinyoung simply shook his head ‘No’. Feeling daring and playful enough (and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t really blame it on the fruity cocktails he’s had sometime ago, because his alcohol tolerance was pretty high and he could take way more than just two drinks really fine still), Jaebum watched Jinyoung with challenge in his eyes. “I dare you.”

 The confused frown now adorning Jinyoung’s brow kind of matched the shiny pout of his mouth as he asked, turning around to face the other, “You what?”

 Jaebum grinned. “I dare you.” Shrugged. “I dare you to sing at the karaoke.” Jerked one thumb towards the makeshift stage. The look of utter disbelief he spotted on Jinyoung’s face made him want to laugh lightly again.

 Jinyoung chanced a nervous glance at the small stage from over one shoulder, making a show of pulling a face at the general direction of it as if he genuinely didn’t want to partake in that mess, but there’s this childlike gleam in his eyes that told a different story. It’s so obvious he was immensely thrilled just by the thought of it.

 Nevertheless, Jinyoung still refocused his attention back on Jaebum just so he could study him warily while asking, “And what will I get if I do?”

 Jaebum shrugged. “You can choose, I don’t care.”

 Almost two minutes passed by like this, Jinyoung still deciding if he could trust Jaebum and Jaebum knowing very well that he shouldn’t. Of course, he’d be true to his word and validate his part on the bet if Jinyoung accepted it, but he sure as fuck would turn that into whatever hell he could only to annoy the other. Maybe make him beg for it for a while before actually doing what he’s supposed to. Jaebum was very fond of the idea already.

 A look of finality crossed those dark, dark eyes a couple of seconds later, and Jaebum knew he’d decided on what to ask for in return. Finishing his sparkly drink, Jinyoung turned in his stool so he was fully facing Jaebum instead of the bar. “I want an exact replica of the statue of _‘Psyche in a Faint’_ then. Like, in pocket-size.”

 Jaebum snorted. “It’s exhilarating to know you believe I have this much power, really.” Clicking his tongue, he said next, “Choose something at least possible for a mere mortal like myself.”

 The answer came not even five seconds later. “You’ll buy me coffee for a month.”

 It’s Jaebum’s time to look at Jinyoung warily, trying to gauge his true intentions, because why would he ask for such a trivial (and honestly stupid) thing? Jaebum buying him coffee wasn’t a big deal, and Jinyoung could’ve just asked for whatever he wanted. One week humiliating himself for the entire school. One month losing to him in every competition they got into together. One year paying him a monthly amount of money for whatever means. But coffee? Jaebum just couldn’t understand what that’s about.

 Either way, he wasn’t one to let that easy bet slip away, so he hesitated only for another moment before finally agreeing. “Deal.” The brilliant smile Jinyoung flashed him then seemed like a motive good enough for Jaebum to have accepted it, in some type of way.

 And as he watched Jinyoung up on that stage almost half an hour later, surprising everyone with his divine voice and leaving Jaebum with a longing he didn’t understand to swim in his belly, there’s no way Jaebum could know that Jinyoung’s been wanting to get some coffee together for almost three years now.

 Just like there’s no way Jinyoung could know that Jaebum might’ve been actually wanting the same, if only he could realize that his feelings for Jinyoung were way deeper than an almost playful enmity, or mere infatuation. Because, after all, Jaebum hasn’t looked at Jinyoung’s hands not even once ever since they started to talk, simply because he was way more interested in looking at that adorable quirky smile the entire night.

 


	3. Evocative Monochrome

 On Saturday, Jaebum wasn’t supposed to have any classes, but he needed to pick up a few documents for his final project at the rectory of the university, so there he was at the campus again. When nobody else was.

 Most of his classmates had already requested, picked up and even turned those papers back in, since they’re basically a technical sheet where everyone should describe their projects and wait for the professors to approve them just so they could get the kick in in their monographies. But Jaebum, he had this habit of leaving everything up to the last minute, and that’s what brought him there so late.

 Technically, he still didn’t have any proper project whose specifications he could detail down on that sheet, so his delay in going there to pick it up was justifiable. At least that’s what he told the tired-looking secretary that practically glared at him for making her work on a Saturday morning.

 One hour and a lot of paperwork later, Jaebum finally got his obligatory file, and then he was told that he must turn it back in before the first half of their last semester ended, or else, they couldn’t accept it anymore. Jaebum sighed, acquiesced, and was ready to leave when the secretary stopped him on his tracks.

“Do you perhaps know someone named Park Jinyoung?” She asked, and Jaebum thought that that must be some kind of a prank, or at least a tasteless joke. The serious look on the woman’s face as she awaited his reply didn’t make it seem like she was joking, though.

 Jaebum pressed his lips together. “We have a few classes together.” He decided to tell the truth, even though good sense whispered for him to lie and say he didn’t know anyone by that name. “Why?”

“Can you make me a huge favor, then?” She dived back into the pile of files she had placed over her desk when searching for Jaebum’s course conclusion report, going through a few of them before finding what she was after and taking it from the pile. “Here.” She handed it to him. “Can you give him this? It’s his report, it’s just been evaluated.”

“Um, we’re not really…” Jaebum trailed off, automatically picking up the file even so. He wanted to say that they weren’t close, and it’s more than likely that they’d only see each other again in one-month time since they’d just gotten into school break, so it wouldn’t make any sense for him to go out of his way to deliver it to the other. Besides, Jinyoung could come in there during the vacations and ask for his paper, who knows. What would they say, then? That Jaebum took it? That didn’t sound very good.

 And he was ready to blurt all those things to the secretary, getting his ass out of such responsibility, but then the woman spoke again. “The rectory will be closed during the school holidays, and this is the only report that came in before the new semester begin.

“Since you’re from the same class, it’d be better if you delivered it to him, because things usually get chaotic in here as we prepare for a new round of freshman students and sometimes it can get lost in the middle of it, and then it can take a long while until we find it again and can give it to him. Of course, if it’s too much to ask, we can keep it in here, no problem. It just would be easier for both parts if you could.”

 That kind of made sense. Jaebum still remembered the time he’d needed some papers for this internship he was applying for and it conciliated with the school break and he’d only receive them almost two months later. Lucky him, they had let him work for said time even without his academic references, and everything had gone well when he finally got them and presented them to his workplace, but he could really get what the secretary was trying to say there. And what’s worse, he could relate to it. Fuck.

 Even though they’re rivals and Jaebum really wanted to fuck Jinyoung up academically, he wasn’t as bad of a person as to do such thing knowing very well what might happen. Jinyoung needed that acceptance report to write the monography on his final project. Having it taking as long as whatever months it would in case they got lost in the rectory, well, that wasn’t really ideal. Jaebum couldn’t do that to him, it wouldn’t be fair.

 And Jaebum didn’t play dirty. If he were to win, it’d be fairly and honestly. A clean victory. Therefore, even if he could only deliver those papers to Jinyoung when they came back from holidays, it’s still better than having to go through all that headache of losing it and having to search for it all over again.

 Jaebum had made up his mind. “All right, I guess.” He said after a moment, cradling Jinyoung’s file along with the papers he needed to his chest. The secretary looked so relieved and thankful for that less of trouble that Jaebum didn’t feel that uncomfortable with having accepted that whole ordeal.

 After all, he only had to give Jinyoung his course conclusion report when the school holidays were over. Jaebum could survive to that. Especially after the night they’d had together yesterday.

 Jaebum’s thought that there’d be a significant change in his and Jinyoung’s relationship after that Friday night at the pub, but really, nothing changed. As far as he’s concerned, they stayed the same, just like he’d told Jinyoung they would. Even so, he did think that it had become easier to stand Jinyoung after that.

 

 They were on school break, and Jaebum could finally put all his attention and effort into working on his final project. That is, if he weren’t stuck on it still. And after his last encounter with Jinyoung, the desire of creating a piece inspired on him was only bigger and greater than before. It no longer was about only his pretty hands now. Fucking crap.

 On the first week into his holidays, he created two clay sketches for his final project; one for Jinyoung’s hands, and one for his head--just so he could detail down the man’s large ears and messy man bun on it. Jaebum ended up liking the hands one best, but by the beginning of the weekend, he’d already destroyed the both of them and created another dent on his apartment’s wall. He really should find another way to vent his frustration--a way that didn’t include throwing his projects around his apartment.

 On the second week into his holidays, he didn’t do anything school related and just moped around his apartment feeling sorry for himself. During one restless night, Jaebum almost went to pound on Jinyoung’s door and demand him to get the hell out of his mind, but as soon as he realized that (a) he didn’t have the man’s address, and (b) that was the stupidest thing he could’ve ever done, the idea was put aside instantly.

 On the third week into his holidays, he decided to work on his impending cinematography degree instead, playing around with his camera and filming random things on the streets just so he could come back home and spend the night awake editing them into a monochromatic film. It’s more like acquiring experience and trying out new filters and different lens, but Jaebum enjoyed it immensely.

 He enjoyed it so much that, by the fourth day of that week, he decided to expand his growing interest on the matter by going to the nearby cinema to watch the first artsy film he saw on display. It happened to be the midnight screening of a _“Black Swan”_ rerun, a classic.

 It wasn’t easy, but Jaebum was successful in convincing the staff to let him stay in the projection booth while the film streamed down on the screening room. It only took him a good ten minutes pleading, explaining it’s for this very important school project, and making puppy eyes the most he could.

 It only worked when he bribed them nearly fifty bucks, but Jaebum was positive that all his other tactics have been equally as effective for that outcome.

 Jaebum observed the projectors being operated throughout the entire two hours he spent in the small booth, barely paying the movie any mind, but still glancing at it and watching a few scenes every once in a while. It’s a good movie, one Jaebum adored and had even written a monography about the message it transmitted, but that night, he’s only there to focus on the cinematography elements that surrounded him.

 It’s a wonderful experience, very inspiring and agreeable. Jaebum couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear after the film ended and he made his way out the booth.

 Smile that instantly fell and turned into an ‘o’ shaped mouth as he gaped at the person he nearly ran into while exiting the room. By the look of sheer shock on Jinyoung’s face as he stared right back at him then, he’s been caught very much off guard too.

“What are you doing in here?” Jaebum nearly sputtered, feeling particularly offended by accidently meeting Jinyoung (of all people) in there. What was tremendously stupid, because the guy had every right to be there, once they’re at a public place and shit.

 It just. Jaebum felt like he’s caught red-handed, even though he’s doing something perfectly common and ordinary like, well, going out of the cave he called his home for once. It just felt weird to meet Jinyoung in there, at such odd hour and unlikely circumstances. It felt awkward to meet Jinyoung out of school grounds.

 And to his relief, Jinyoung seemed to be feeling something along the same lines, if the way he pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest was clue enough. “I could ask you the same.”

 Jaebum crossed his arms as well. “But I asked first.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to answer it, much less to you!” Jinyoung huffed, thick strands of hair falling forward to frame his face and hide half of one cheek with the movement. It hit Jaebum like a punch to his stomach, how he only then realized that Jinyoung’s man bun was nowhere to be seen tonight.

 Stunned into silence, he took in Jinyoung’s appearance as if seeing the man for the first time. Sleek black hair cascaded down his neck, curling behind his ears where the strands were longer and cradling his face where his long side fringe parted in half. It looked so fluffy and full, barely reaching past his chin in length. That hairstyle suited Jinyoung so well in a way Jaebum didn’t know how to describe. It made him look wild, yet still admirably prim. A mixture of an eccentric artist and the exemplar student everyone looked upon.

 Jaebum has never quite taken the time to notice the clothes Jinyoung used on the daily, having grown used to seeing him enveloped in pastel colors and cardigans ever since they graduated from high school, but he couldn’t help letting his eyes admire the simple white t-shirt and black dress pants the man wore tonight.

 Just like the untied hair, that outfit fitted him so well; hugging his broad chest and biceps all the way down to his narrow waist, where the pants were locked in place by a leather belt. The tight fit of those pants on Jinyoung’s hips and thighs made Jaebum startle himself out of his trance, snapping his still slight widened eyes back up to meet Jinyoung’s smart ones.

 Trying to seem as if he hadn’t just spent the longest time ogling Jinyoung, he cleared his throat and shoved both hands on the pockets of his light wash jeans. “I was working on something very important.” He grumbled, sharing the bit of information only to keep the other distracted. “None of your business.”

“If it’s none of my business then why are you telling me? You’re so annoying.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes with a grimace. His gaze fell somewhere above the door Jaebum had just sneaked out from, and then his eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You were in the projection room of screening 6?”

“Huh?” Jaebum had to follow his gaze and read off the white sign that said _‘Screening 6’_ in black letters to understand what Jinyoung was talking about. Once he caught on to that, he hummed in thought. “Ah, yes, the one playing the rerun of _Black Swan_. I was watching how the projectors worked.”

 Jinyoung looked at him as if he was trying to solve a puzzle, finding the answer right away and frowning at it, but then scoffing and shaking his head as if only the thought sounded absurd to his own mind. “You’re kidding.”

“No?” It’s Jaebum’s time to frown. “Why would I even?”

“That’s the screening room I was in, I just watched this movie.” Jinyoung whined, face crumpling up. Jaebum watched him tip his head back and shake his body while stomping his feet, just like a kid throwing a tantrum. Even his bottom lip was jutting out in a pout now. “Don’t tell me you’re into artsy films too.”

 At this, Jaebum couldn’t help letting out a disbelieving snort. “Is it my fault that I have good taste?”

“I can’t believe we have another thing in common, what the hell.” It’s what Jinyoung mumbled instead of answering Jaebum’s question (it’s been a rhetorical one, so it didn’t really matter, but still).

 Jaebum felt indignation rising in his system, and it coaxed an annoyed noise out of him. Because, well, that should be him getting worked up over it, right? Jinyoung getting upset over them finding another thing in common rubbed him the wrong way. Something whispered to him that there’s something deeper to that, but he ignored it and the ugly glare Jinyoung threw in his direction altogether.

 It felt like they reached the end of the road then, stuck in a slowly becoming awkward silence. Jaebum considered just walking away then, just like he’d done that afternoon in the campus’s cafeteria when he’s tired as fuck and Jinyoung wouldn’t stop fumbling with his messenger bag. But, this time, he felt like he’s rooted there, in front of Jinyoung, and that he shouldn’t leave even if the mood became awkward and he got fidgety. He felt like he should stay, as if he belonged in there more than in any other place.

 There’s this pull towards Jinyoung now that wasn’t there before, and even though it scared Jaebum to the point of leaving goosebumps racing across his skin, he didn’t feel like breaking it anytime soon.

 Thankfully, Jinyoung again seemed to have similar feelings since he wasn’t leaving either. Instead, he all but tried to make small talk while fixing a glare somewhere between Jaebum’s neck and collarbones. Too bad he chose the worst subject possible. “How is your final project going?”

 Jaebum felt panic coursing through his veins almost instantly, a cold shiver raking up his spine. “That’s- why are you asking about that?” He stuttered, mentally cursing his voice for it coming out that pitched.

 That wasn’t something he wanted to discuss, much less with Jinyoung. Jaebum didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if the guy ever came to know about all the marble figures inspired on his long hands and soft profile that left dents on Jaebum’s studio apartment walls. That wasn’t a very appropriate theme to be approached that openly.

 Still, Jinyoung seemed to be blissfully unaware of Jaebum’s inner agitation, since he got the talk going as if that was a good idea. “I heard you telling the professor you were stuck with it.” He explained. “You got your inspiration back already?”

 Flashes of Jinyoung’s hands crossed his mind, unbidden and very vivid. His voice came out forced and restrained as he nearly grunted, “No.”

“I see.” It’s all Jinyoung said in return, but Jaebum could see he was thinking about something now. Eyebrows twitching softly into a frown and eyes getting unfocused as they stared off into the low flux of people in the cinema hall.

 Whatever it’s been that he’s thinking about, though, he didn’t share, and when his eyes came back to focus on Jaebum’s ones, Jinyoung was already changing the subject altogether. “You own me a coffee.”

 The suddenness and sheer unusualness of that last comment alone sent Jaebum’s mind reeling, and then he couldn’t really hold in an amused huff of laughter at that. “What?”

 Jinyoung hummed. “30, to be exact. I sang at the karaoke. Now you buy me coffee. That’s how it works.”

“I know that’s how that works, Jinyoung.” Jaebum shook his head, trying really hard not to grin. He didn’t even know why he felt like grinning, but it surely must’ve something to do with the look Jinyoung was giving him. “I just don’t get it why you’re bringing this up now.”

“Because the last topic clearly left you uncomfortable, that’s why.” The pout on Jinyoung’s lips was really this close to sending Jaebum off. They didn’t freaking _pout_ to one another, for god’s sake. And Jinyoung was already doing that twice. Good thing the guy turned around to point at a distant stall while saying, “And because I really crave coffee right now.”, because if Jaebum saw that puppy expression for one more second, he’d have to turn around himself.

 And it’d have been so easy to decline; to just tell Jinyoung to fuck off and go home so he could do the same, and the both of them wouldn’t have to spend any more minute together without being forced to, like during classes and occasional social events. It only depended on Jaebum, their night’s outcome from there. Jinyoung had clearly left the choice in his hands now--patient eyes sliding back to his, and expression calm and hopeful in a way that kind of enraged him. And really, it’d have been just so easy to say ‘no’ and excuse himself.

 The only thing he found hard to do was convincing himself that that’s what he wanted, to let Jinyoung go. It posed so ridiculous to him, how he found himself unwilling to decline that invite, even though that’s what he’s expected to do. Because rivals didn’t get coffee together.

 However, Jaebum couldn’t shake off the _want_ of doing exactly the opposite then, to just accept that idiot invite and just walk beside Jinyoung while hoping the guy would engage them in another small talk just for the sake of it.

 The realization that he honestly wanted to spend more time with Jinyoung shocked him maybe more than the one he might be infatuated with the idea of him ever since they got into college together. It did leave a bad taste in his mouth, hands clawing at his chest from the inside until they reached high enough to squeeze his throat and leave him gulping around a lump.

 That’s something he didn’t have any control over, since his discovers usually were accompanied by a very impacting wave of nerves that’d leave him sick to the stomach for a week. Even so, deep inside he knew that he’d be feeling an eternal longing in his core whether he refused himself the treat of getting some coffee with the only person that has been a constant in his life for as far as he can remember.

 And besides, he did give his word about the dare. Thinking that it’s something he _must_ do instead, well, that kind of eased the tight knot that has formed in his guts somehow.

 With this thought in mind, he braced himself for the consequences and murmured a quiet, “Okay. Let’s go.” The sight of Jinyoung’s mouth quirking up in a smile he probably tried to hold in with all his might was the confirmation that Jaebum’s made the right choice. He fought a blush on his own, and focused on following Jinyoung as the guy started to walk towards the stall with a spring in his step.

 They stood in front of the stall for almost five minutes as Jinyoung chose which of the 18 types of coffee he’d be having. Jaebum watched him in silence, taking in the happy and almost childlike gleam in those sparkly eyes with something akin to affection burning in his chest.

 It’s only when Jinyoung decided on a simple cappuccino and pointed at the according name on the board hang above the small counter that Jaebum noticed his hands. At first, he just stared at it numbly, but then he took in the random and very tiny brushstrokes of black ink that stained Jinyoung’s fingertips and couldn’t help smiling softly. He must’ve been painting before coming there in the middle of the night to watch a movie.

 Jaebum knew pretty well how much of a pain in the ass it was to get ink off your fingers after hours of painting and painting and painting. The majority of it would vanish right away, but some stubborn, faded marks would still remain for a while. Specially if you just washed it quickly, without the proper care. Jaebum smiled more at the familiarity of that than at the stains themselves.

 It’s actually heartwarming how he could relate to Jinyoung in those things, how he could honestly share of his struggles and truly understand what it felt like to go through that. It made him feel like he wasn’t alone, in some weird way. It’s frightening, too, but it wasn’t unwelcome.

 And that suddenly reminded him of the file he’s supposed to give to Jinyoung, the one about the report on his final project. Jaebum’s almost forgotten entirely that it even existed. There wasn’t how he could deliver it to Jinyoung now, considering how it’s in his apartment and he got caught off guard by that accidental encounter in the middle of the cinema hall.

 However, he supposed that it wouldn’t do any harm to tell the guy about it. Since Jinyoung hadn’t mentioned anything until then, it’s more than likely that he hadn’t tried to go to the rectory to see if his papers were ready yet. Jaebum found it better that way, to know it through him. At least it wouldn’t make Jinyoung get the wrong impression of him trying to sabotage him in any way.

“Jinyoung.” Jaebum called, bracing himself for the surge of goosebumps he knew would course through his limbs when those dark-brown eyes focused on him again. Jinyoung turned around at the sound of his name, and it happened just like Jaebum had imagined. He took a deep breath. “I just remembered, I have something that belongs to you.”

 Jinyoung looked curious and puzzled at that, tilting his head in question. “Something that belongs to me?”

“Yeah, I… well, I went to the rectory of the university before it’s closed for the holidays to pick up some papers and, and the secretary asked me if I knew someone named Park Jinyoung. I said yes, and she then asked if I could give you your report since I knew you, and she’s afraid their system got too busy to keep it in their archive for the entire month. What with the freshman hustle and all.”

“You’re telling me my conclusion report is with you?” Jinyoung asked, and Jaebum could tell there’s this thin layer of wariness mixing with his overall expression, as if he’s just then realizing how that could be a trap, and expecting Jaebum to say something mocking or threatening next. Jaebum supposed he shouldn’t feel as offended as he did then.

 Instead, though, he simply nodded his head to the foam cup the stall owner was handing Jinyoung for over the counter. Jinyoung glanced at it, startling into motion after realizing he should be picking his drink up, and then enveloping his pretty fingers around the cup.

 While Jinyoung wasn’t looking at him, Jaebum found the strength to answer, “It’s with me, but I’m not about to blackmail or threaten you with anything nasty to give it back to you, so you can stop being so rigid. I only agreed on picking it up because I didn’t want you to wait that much to get it, that is, in case they happened to lose it in the archive.”

 Jinyoung seemed to notice something in Jaebum’s expression when turning around with his cappuccino in hand then, because his eyebrows twitched as if he wasn’t sure of what to do with the way Jaebum was behaving, talking, and looking at him. Jaebum wondered what it’s that he saw.

“Really?” His voice was genuinely clueless as he asked, as if he didn’t know if he should believe in what he’s been told or not. It’s so honest and vulnerable. Jaebum dumbly nodded his head. “Did you see what they wrote on it? Was my project accepted?”

 It only struck Jaebum then, how he could’ve opened it and stuck his nose on Jinyoung’s matters only to have some material with which he could force the other to make things for him. The fact that it hasn’t even crossed his mind--to get advantage of the situation like that--surprised him, but not that much. Jaebum was never one to play dirty.

 Jaebum licked his lips, and he’s sure he’s never been that sincere with Jinyoung before, as he now said, “I don’t know, I didn’t open it. I didn’t even peek inside, I swear. When I told you that we don’t stoop so low, back in the pub, I meant it. I wouldn’t use such thing to fuck you up. Never.”

“Thank you. For respecting it, my privacy, and for respecting me. It’s nice of you, Jaebum.” Jinyoung said, and the way the tip of those big ears turned pink along with a spot high on those pretty cheekbones only got Jaebum feeling even more curious about what Jinyoung must’ve seen on his expression during that whole exchange, but he didn’t mention it.

 Instead, he took his attention away from Jinyoung and onto the stall owner, ordering an iced coffee only to occupy his mind with something other than how cute Jinyoung looked while trying to hide his blush behind the border of his cup of coffee.

 And then he must’ve occupied his mind way too much with the task of paying for both their drinks and carefully picking up his foam cup by the edges, because he honest to god didn’t see the small woman who was turning the corner and passing by him right as he spun on his feet to walk away.

 Needless to say, the whole thing resulted in them both accidently bumping into each other, and in tries to save the other from falling face on the floor, Jaebum ended holding them up and unintentionally angling his cup towards himself, causing the content to spill allover his shirt.

 The scene ended just as quickly as it’d started, and then the woman was looking at the mess on Jaebum’s clothes with sheer horror and guilty on her face. Jaebum had the inkling he was looking down on himself in the same way.

 Before any of them two could say anything, though, Jaebum watched as a very familiar pair of hands invaded his line of vision and started fumbling with his shirt, patting it with dry napkins hurriedly. He kept his arms spread open and away from his torso all the while, the now half empty foam cup still clutched in one hand. The napkins turned soggy and of a light-brown color almost instantly.

 He thought he’d heard an _‘Oh, shit!’_ being hissed right before he’s being touched, but he wasn’t sure. It’d sounded like Jinyoung, but again, he wasn’t sure. The only thing that permeated the shock clouding his brain now was those veiny hands rubbing at his damp, soiled shirt. Damn, it felt sticky and gross as it clung to his skin. Jaebum groaned at the feeling.

“There, there.” He heard the soft cooing at the same time the woman said, “Oh, my god, I’m just so sorry. I was walking by, and you- I’m sorry, can I help in anything?”, in a mournful voice. Jaebum could only focus on how that cooing really sounded like it’s being made by Jinyoung.

 Blinking out of his stupor, he slowly raised his head to look at the woman. She had this slight panicked look on her face, and Jaebum nearly laughed at it for some reason. He really felt like cussing her as well, so he didn’t really know what he wanted to do.

 Opting for the safest, he flashed her what he considered a mild smile and brushed the apology off with a shake of head. “That’s fine, it’s me who wasn’t looking while I turned. I’m sorry, too. It’s fine, there’s no need to do anything.”

“No, I insist!” The woman stood her ground, flipping out her wallet. Apparently, her idea of helping him was buying him another iced coffee to make it up for the one that had spilled, because that’s exactly what she did before apologizing more three times and walking away with her face burning in shame.

 The cinema hall was practically desert at that time safe from a few stray souls, and Jaebum’s thankful for that as he watched the woman hurry off until she disappeared from sight. He still received some amused looks and barely restrained laughs for the unfortunate scene, but that’s better than if it had happened earlier, during rush hour. That wasn’t the worst outcome.

“All done.” Jaebum heard then, and his head shot back down to look at the pair of hands that worked on him all along, only then summoning up courage enough to let his gaze trail up those strong arms, shoulders and long hair. His heartbeat quickened despite itself.

 Of course, he already knew it’s Jinyoung who has been fumbling with the stain on his shirt, but letting their eyes meet in that position (Jinyoung on his knees before him, looking up with all those stars shining in his beautiful irises, expression genuine and candid with worry), it took his breath away all the same.

 Jinyoung eventually stood up, picking up all the dirty napkins he’s used from the floor and throwing them into the nearest trash bin, coming right back to pick up his own foam cup as well. It seemed like he’d put it down on the floor just so he could rush to Jaebum’s aid, using almost all the napkins the stall offered in a steel box by the countertop. Jaebum wished he wasn’t all that shocked to let that pass. It’d have been nice to see Jinyoung caring so much for him.

“It’s still a pretty bad stain, but hopefully it isn’t all that gross anymore.” Jinyoung tried to be positive about it, giving him a onceover and a shrug, chugging down all the content left in his cup and grimacing since it’s probably cold by now. He leaned forward to throw it into the trash bin too, taking the chance to take the one that had spilled from Jaebum’s grasp as well and throw it all away. “You’d better wash that out really quick, though. I guess the bathrooms down here are already closed, but the ones on the upper floor must be open still.”

“It’s fine.” Jaebum said as soon as he found his voice again. He casted another glance at his shirt and indeed, the stain was more contained now, but it still looked bad and felt uncomfortable. Jaebum just really wanted to take a shower now. “I’ll just go home.”

“If that’s what you want.” Jinyoung nodded, comprehensive and calm and supportive. It honestly threw Jaebum off, because he’s expecting the guy to start laughing at the entire situation and make fun at him for the next semester, but Jinyoung looked so mature and so _there_ for him that Jaebum didn’t know how to act.

 It wasn’t how their relationship worked--at least, that’s not how Jaebum supposed it should. He’s still so used to Jinyoung teasing him for every little thing that it felt strangely odd to have him being that civilized now. Maybe (and that’s only him shooting in the dark), Jinyoung only teased him when the situation wasn’t serious at all, but when it became real and somewhat dense, he turned into this very supportive presence that was there for him, selflessly.

 Jaebum wasn’t sure how he should be feeling over that, but he knew that he should really start to rethink their dynamic sometime in the future.

“C’mon, I’ll take you there.” Jinyoung prompted when silence reigned between them for way too much time. The hand he curled around Jaebum’s elbow then was--for the lack of a better word--grounding.

 And that’s when Jaebum got snapped back to the moment. He felt his eyes widening in their sockets as the weight of those words slowly sank in. “What, to my apartment? Why?”

“Since I witnessed the whole thing happen, I feel responsible in some type of way.” Jinyoung reasoned. Jaebum grimaced, finding that excuse even more ridiculous than the ones he usually made up.

“You literally don’t have anything to do with this, you know that, right?” He tried to pull his elbow away from Jinyoung’s grasp, but that only caused the man to slide his hand upper and then proceed to hook an arm around Jaebum’s bicep. The gesture was so foreign Jaebum tried to jerk his arm out of that hold again, only to receive a scolding squeeze from Jinyoung in return. Jinyoung was surprisingly strong.

“Still, it’s me who forced you to come buy me some coffee.” Jinyoung started to guide him away from the stall, halting on his tracks and spinning around just so he could pick the apology treat the woman had bought Jaebum up from the counter, all the while with his arm and Jaebum’s linked. Showing it to Jaebum as if it’s some sort of prize, he turned them back around and then started to walk again.

 Jaebum wanted to protest, to tell Jinyoung to fuck off, because he’s damn treating him like he’d broken a leg and not just gotten an iced coffee shower now, but something in the domesticity of that stopped him from doing so. It left his skin tingling and mind racing, but it felt so nice he didn’t have the courage to ruin that moment. Even though he supposed he should.

 That, however, didn’t stop him from trying to resist at least a little bit more. “You didn’t force me—”

“Shut up and let’s go.” Jinyoung cut him, leaving him gaping in surprise at that behavior. Noticing it, the guy licked his lips with a new blush turning his face lovely pink, trying to save face by adding, “Besides, you said you have my file with you, don’t you? I really need it as fast as possible, so let’s go and you can give it to me. A win-win situation.”

 Jinyoung hasn’t mentioned anything about needing those papers that urgently before, when they first talked about it, so Jaebum had this strong feeling the guy’s overreacting about it only to accompany him home without him complaining further. He could only wonder why’s that, but shut his mouth for once.

 After seeing that Jaebum wasn’t resisting all that much anymore, Jinyoung smirked, soon enough faking a tired sigh and pretending to be really annoyed and resigned while nagging, “I can’t believe I’m wasting my night babysitting you and making sure you get home without being hit by a car.”

 Jaebum felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment and scandalization both. Jinyoung was babysitting no-fucking-body. Sputtering, he tried to shake Jinyoung away one more time. “You can just go home, I’m not asking you to take me home? I can perfectly give you your damn file another day!”

 Jinyoung’s hold on his arm only tightened. “I told you to shut up.” It’s so obvious how Jinyoung was trying to disguise a genuine laugh behind a poorly executed fake cough, but for once, Jaebum didn’t point that out right away. He didn’t point that out because, for the first time in forever, he’s also holding in a dangerously affectionate laugh at his rival’s antics.

 At that moment, as Jinyoung pretended to be forced into that situation, Jaebum could only pretend he wasn’t enjoying having Jinyoung’s warmth seeping onto him like warm honey, neither loving those sweet whiskers that were rarely in sight, but that shined brightly at the corners of Jinyoung’s eyes now.

 

 Jaebum realized his mistake as soon as he found himself standing at the doorstep of his apartment, fumbling with his keys while Jinyoung stood one respectful step behind him. Why the hell hadn’t him protested more when he had the chance, oh god.

 He couldn’t have Jinyoung in his apartment, not when he couldn’t remember whether he’d gotten rid of the last sculpture he did of Jinyoung’s hands, and hid the many paintings of his princely profile in the small room Jaebum used to keep the things that were supposed to never be seen. That’d be a disaster. What the hell had he been thinking when he let Jinyoung convince him to walk home together?

“I’ve never been to this side of the town.” Jinyoung commented, conversationally, and Jaebum thanked heavens that he hadn’t asked why was Jaebum taking so long to open the goddamn door instead. And Jaebum knew that Jinyoung wasn’t dumb, so it’s obvious the guy knew he was trying to buy time. The fact that he wasn’t bringing it up nor teasing him about it was what truly bugged him.

 He didn’t answer, but allowed himself to take a deep breath and guide the key to the hole, unlocking it with a soft _click_. If he wanted to avoid that situation, Jaebum should’ve done something before they got there, before he let his guard down and showed Jinyoung the way to his studio apartment.

 But now, there’s no need to keep postponing that any further. They’re already there; there wasn’t how to back away. Jaebum couldn’t do anything besides walking in and making room for Jinyoung to follow him inside. He could only hope for the best.

 For once in his life, karma didn’t try to fuck him up. There were no sculptures, no paintings and no nothing that could give his weirdness away as they both stepped in the living room, and Jaebum could really feel his heartbeat increasing with the want to fist bump the air in commemoration. Gratefulness filled him, and he let out a discreet sigh of relief as Jinyoung started to look around.

“I can’t say I expected something different, really.” It’s what Jinyoung said as he surveyed the room, fingertips tracing lightly the armrest of a couch. “It’s pretty much… you.”

 Jaebum took a moment to look around his studio apartment himself. It’s a cramped little thing, with one main room where he tried to squeeze in a living room, bedroom and kitchen. The other two rooms were for the bathroom and his most secretive projects, but they’re almost as small as the rest. And that’s that.

 As for the main room, mostly everything he possessed was either piled against the corners or spread on the floor. His bed was a double, pushed to the far end of the chamber where the sunlight would stream in and catch the mattress just right. There’s a small dresser beside it, sheets of paper and a few pencils above the surface, and next to it various drawing boards of blank canvas rested against the cement walls.

 There’s a narrow bookshelf pushed to the other corner, and a TV, and a coffee table, and a brown couch. The kitchenware with all its appliances were placed on the opposite side of the room, making it all kind of balanced with enough space to work on the cooking and the bedding. It really looked more like a makeshift storeroom than a proper apartment where friends could come in and chill.

 Taking his eyes from the abstract paintings he’d hung on the walls, he focused them back on Jinyoung. The guy had his head cocked to the side as he tried to see past the few boxes that littered the floor, where Jaebum knew his crafting tools and photography equipment to be. They usually were kept inside the Secret Room (as Jaebum liked to call the room where he kept his projects), but he’d been messing with them just before going out on his cinematography study earlier, so they now lied there, on the wooden floor, in a mess.

 Jaebum thought about what Jinyoung had said again _._ _I can’t say I expected something different, really. It’s pretty much you._ He narrowed his eyes. “Should I be thanking you? Like. Is that a compliment?”

 Jinyoung didn’t look back at him as he snorted, voice dripping with mischief when he said, “I wouldn’t say so, no.”

 Of course. Jaebum rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the lopsided grin that blossomed to his lips despite himself. There was a time when he’d grumble something under his breath in response, or just ignore Jinyoung altogether, but today wasn’t it. All he could do was watch as his childhood archenemy stood in the middle of his apartment, absorbing every little thing that defined Jaebum in some way.

 Remembering why they were there (and desperately searching for an excuse to get out of Jinyoung’s presence), he looked down at the coffee stain on his shirt and cleared his throat. “I’m gonna change. You, feel free to pick something from the fridge, or whatever. I only have cold water and grapes, though.”

“I like grapes.” Jinyoung answered blandly. “The green ones.” He added, finally turning around to watch Jaebum again as he made his way to the bathroom.

 Jaebum disappeared on one of the two closed doors that weren’t the front one, throwing over his shoulder, “You’re not in luck, then. I only eat the purple ones.” He didn’t stay enough to hear Jinyoung’s response--that is, if there’s been one--but he liked to imagine the indignant roll of eyes the guy most probably had done then.

 Jaebum wanted to take a shower, but there’s no way in hell he’d be doing that with Jinyoung there, in his apartment, so the wet cloth he picked up from the drawer under the sink would’ve to do. Peeling his soiled shirt away from his torso, he dragged it over his head and threw it on the floor. It smelled of coffee, and so did his skin.

 He made quick work of swiping the cloth over his belly, right where the coffee had spilled, and then patted his dry towel over it to get rid of any wetness left. It’s only then that he noticed how unpractical it was to have his bedroom and living room together in one single space, because now he wouldn’t be able to sneak past Jinyoung and go search for clean clothes on his drawer without running right into him. Jaebum groaned, throwing his head back in misery. He really shouldn’t have invited Jinyoung inside.

 It shouldn’t be an issue; going out of the bathroom shirtless and allowing Jinyoung to see him in that state as he rummaged the drawing for a clean change of clothes, that is. Jinyoung was also a guy. There wasn’t anything in there that he wouldn’t have seen before, right? Dudes stood shirtless around each other all the time. No big deal, no big deal.

 Just that they weren’t _dudes_ , and Jaebum had this awful attraction to Jinyoung’s hands and profile and man bun (and maybe lips now), so he wouldn’t feel comfortable baring himself that much for the other. But, the thing is, he didn’t have much choice. The towel he used to pat himself dry was a hand one. It’d be worse if he tried to hide himself behind that small piece of cloth that barely covered the expanse of his chest.

 There’s only one option for him in that scenario, and he hated how he could already feel his cheeks heating up at the prospect of Jinyoung staring at his naked torso as soon as he stepped outside. Shit. He should’ve frequented the gym more times.

 Deciding that there’s no way to run from that situation now, Jaebum took a deep breath and braced himself. Picking up the dirty shirt from the floor, he clutched it in front of his chest as if it were a shield, pushing the door open and stepping out the bathroom.

 Jaebum crossed the room in large steps, having sucked in his gut and stood impossibly straight with his arms looking more buff where they pressed against his ribs. He tried his hardest not to glance around and catch Jinyoung’s gaze somewhere in the room, but he still could feel his skin prickling with the feeling of being watched.

 Taking another breath and being utterly confused of why his heart was beating that fast, he threw his soiled shirt on the ground and reached for the drawer to put his hands to work, back facing Jinyoung’s general direction. At least Jaebum had pride in the muscles of his back and the width of his shoulders.

“I can help you with it.” Jinyoung offered, sounding way closer than Jaebum had expected, and Jaebum’s brain nearly shut down with the many thoughts of what the fuck could Jinyoung possibly be offering to help him with right them.

 Jaebum gulped, fishing out the first t-shirt he felt graze his trembling fingers--what happened to be his favorite Bart Simpson sleeping shirt--and hastily slinging it over his head, practically tearing it apart while trying to shove his arms through the sleeves and smooth it down his torso. When he finally turned around, it’s to watch Jinyoung sitting on the couch, boring holes in Jaebum’s entire self with the intensity of his stare.

 Before Jaebum could say something--about what the guy wanted to help him with; about that flaming heat in his eyes; about the grapes he now saw lying on a plate above the coffee table--Jinyoung beat him to it, adding, “With your final project, I mean.”

 That surely wasn’t what Jaebum had been expecting the man to say, much less after being so clear about his animosity in regards of talking about that topic just earlier, so he didn’t have any other reaction than the confused frown that wrinkled his forehead. “Why would you ever do that?”

“Because if you don’t turn yours in on time, then I won’t have anyone to whom I can brag about having the best project in the entire campus.” Jinyoung answered easily. “If you’re not there, then it’s no fun.”

 So, that’s all about their rivalry and everlasting competition as it seemed. Jaebum didn’t know why he felt disappointment wash over him at that. “It’s not like I’m failing on purpose.” He countered, trying to sound neutral despite the sour mood now enveloping his spirit. “I can’t think of anything good enough to turn in.”

“But you’ve been working on something. What’s it?”

 Jaebum didn’t know what about Jinyoung seeming so keen on having that conversation now irked him, but he still found himself biting back sharply, “Nothing you can help me with.”

 Regret overpowered every other emotion when he saw the way Jinyoung’s lips pursed and downcast eyes focused on the floor instead. “Is that so?” Jinyoung said then, trying to look unbothered even after the momentary slip in his façade. That was another look that he didn’t like to see on Jinyoung.

 Jaebum rubbed both hands over his face, exhaling. “Anything else, just. Don’t make me talk about it.”

 Jinyoung nodded, but didn’t say anything else right away. Jaebum watched as he picked a few grapes from the plate and started popping them into his awaiting mouth, one by one, chewing them slowly. His own mouth felt uncharacteristic dry when Jinyoung’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed them barely one minute later. “What do you think about the ones we did during classes?”

 Afraid of having his voice cracking with unwarranted emotion, he cleared his throat. “Which ones you mean? The dove you did?”

“Yeah, and you did a horse, right? Did you finish it yet?”

 Jaebum gave a few steps back and sat on his bed with a thoughtful hum. “No. I kind of put it aside. Lost interest on it.”

“Not good enough, then. Got it.” Jinyoung nodded. “What about angels? They’re every sculptor’s dirty pleasure. That, and Greek mythology. And the branch of ideas you can have in those two little universes are- what?”

 Jaebum was looking at Jinyoung with his eyebrows low in question, expression wary and posture slight defensive. Yet, there’s just this hint of something shining in his eyes that made it all look like he’s staring at him as if Jinyoung wasn’t real; as if he couldn’t possibly believe in him. Jinyoung frowned back at him.

 Propping up his chin with one elbow on his thigh, he cocked his head to the side as far as the position allowed. “Why’re you doing this? Why do you want to help me?”

“I told you, it won’t be fun if you—”

“No, I’m being serious now.” Jaebum interrupted, shaking his head with finality. He knew there’s more to it than Jinyoung was letting on; he knew it wasn’t all about their ongoing rivalry as he’d thought moments ago. There’s something different in the way Jinyoung stared at him now, something that wasn’t there before. Jaebum felt himself licking his lips, anxiously. “Why do you want to help me?”

“Because it’d break me to see you fail.” Jinyoung confessed, voice so small Jaebum wasn’t sure he’d heard that right. By the lovely shade of pink that spread up Jinyoung’s neck to paint his cheeks and ears then, Jaebum was positive he did, but such realization only made his own face burn. Jinyoung put a few strands of hair behind his ear, still looking at anywhere but Jaebum, and that only made things worse. Jaebum gulped.

 They were having one moment there, Jaebum could feel it. Jinyoung looked up from under long eyelashes, locking their eyes together, and the air got stuck in Jaebum’s throat. Something was happening, right at that moment, but the thought of sharing that intimacy with Jinyoung--talking only through their eyes--it still posed so foreign to his mind that he chose to ignore it altogether.

 However, his traitor eyes still flickered down to Jinyoung’s plush lips, taking in the moist glint on them before letting out a hitched breath and taking his gaze somewhere else.

 Licking his lips again, Jaebum changed the topic. “I like Greek mythology best.”

“Funny, me too.” Jinyoung chuckled, sounding so breathy that Jaebum blushed harder. “Another thing in common, as it seems. Maybe we’re mirrors of each other, Jaebum. Doesn’t that sound dreamy?”

 There’s this part of him that knew that Jinyoung was being sarcastic about that last part--about the two of them mirroring each other being something dreamy and even possibly good—but Jaebum still pathetically chose to listen to this tiny little whisper that insisted to him that Jinyoung was actually meaning it.

 That’s why, without thinking, he just hummed and allowed himself to smile softly. “It does, indeed.”

 Jinyoung radiated happiness while chewing on a few more grapes, leaning back against the backrest and showing Jaebum those cute eye-whiskers again. “Then Greek mythology it is.”

 Jaebum didn’t know what to make of that interaction, but minutes later, after they’d ended that issue in some sort of agreement where Jinyoung would be helping Jaebum with ideas for his final project, and before he handed Jinyoung the file for his monography only to have the guy thanking him for it with a grin so blindingly beautiful Jaebum felt his knees go weak, he was sure of one thing.

 The speeding of his heart surely wasn’t all that inexplicable anymore.

 


	4. Study Of Unfolding Emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey folks check out this AMAZING fanart and go give it some love :)  
> link: https://twitter.com/monikirogers/status/1096554572502437888

 

 For someone with an IQ of 110, Jaebum could be pathetically slow sometimes. Him not noticing how--in a vulnerable moment of bonding over a coffee spilled shirt--he’d just agreed on receiving Jinyoung’s help on his final project and fully disregarding all the implications that would come with it plus their undeniable influence in their relationship and dynamic, was a very clear example of it.

 In behalf of sharing thoughts on what should be done for his project, they’d exchanged numbers that night. And that, Jaebum later realized, was the beginning of his impending downfall.

 When they first started to message each other, it’s with Jinyoung’s impersonal _“Hey, it’s Park Jinyoung here.”,_ and Jaebum’s pretty much dumb and panicked _“Hello, it’s Jaebum. Im Jaebum. From the art department. And, y’know, middle and high school? Yeah, hi.”_

 Next thing Jinyoung typed was a string of laughing characters and then the way less impersonal _“Are you stupid? I know who you are, that’s why I’m texting you”_. Jaebum spent the following three days cringing in mortification at the memory of that, but he couldn’t deny that it’d worked perfectly as an ice-breaker.

 After that episode, the talks flowed surprisingly easily between them, and it didn’t take long for them to develop this habit of texting each other every day. Sometimes, it’d be only about the project; Jinyoung sending him links of Greek mythology related things and Jaebum answering it with the ‘thumbs up’ emoji. But there were also those times where they’d engage in shallow talks about their day, share some funny thing they saw online or on the TV, or just complain about school life with the same tired-like fervor. And those… those were the ones Jaebum liked best.

 One afternoon, while doing some grocery shopping at the supermarket near his apartment, Jaebum found himself lingering by the produce section and inspecting the fruits for one moment longer. Jinyoung telling him he liked green grapes best kept replaying in his head like a broken record; urging, prompting, encouraging him. And honestly, they looked so ripe and had such an appetizing smell.

 Pursing his lips decidedly, he picked a bunch of grapes and held them up, fishing his phone out and snapping a picture of it. After a small inner debate, he sent it to Jinyoung and immediately pocketed his phone again, scowling while clumsily trying to slip that bunch and four more into a plastic bag.

 The answer came not even one minute later, and Jaebum had to bring a whole arm up to hide his grin behind the crook of his elbow when it read _“Finally a man with taste, I see”_. He didn’t answer that back, but made it a point to put all those grapes in full display on top of his kitchen counter the next time Jinyoung would drop by his apartment again.

 That is, if Jinyoung ever did. Jaebum surprised himself with the realization that he honestly wanted him to.

 On the fourth and last week into his holidays, Jaebum found himself contemplating the Greek mythology theme while worrying about having let Jinyoung too far into his life. It’s like he’s wormed his way into Jaebum’s heart and jumped over all the walls he’d put up in defense. Jaebum hated that.

 And he hated it even more because he couldn’t, for the life of him, stop the fond feeling that would always bring an unbidden smile to his mouth whenever he found himself thinking about Jinyoung. His infatuation with the man’s hands was ridiculous, eccentric just like an artist’s mind, but this… this was starting to get too dangerous.

 Jaebum could feel it now--it wasn’t about the inspiration anymore. It wasn’t about the art. And it’d stopped being about their rivalry since a long time ago. This was about Jinyoung, and only him.

 Accepting Jinyoung’s selfless help in whatever it might be, while knowing very well about his turbulent emotions and how that’d result in them both seeing each other way more often than before, risking even having the guy discovering about all the shattered sculptures he kept in his closet… that hasn’t been a good idea at all. Jaebum had plain conscious of it.

 It’s just funny how he still got deliciously cold shivers at the thought of getting closer to Jinyoung, and how his traitor mind would still think that accepting his help has been the best of ideas more often than not.

 

 It was the first day back from school holidays, and Jaebum noticed the change right away. Not only on the heavy mood that seemed to be permanently hanging above the majority of the students’ heads now--what with everyone feeling edgy and pressured past their limits as their finals approached in dreadful gallops--but with how his relationship with Jinyoung took another turn.

 Well, that wasn’t all that hard to do, considering how Jinyoung unceremoniously flopped on the seat across from him at the table he occupied in the campus’s cafeteria, one heavy groan leaving his mouth as if he’d had a particularly rough day. It’s barely 7AM still.

“You should thank me.” Jinyoung huffed while putting his messenger bag on the tabletop and starting to pull things out of it with a soft frown creasing his brow. Jaebum noticed there’s a small keychain hanging from the zipper now. It’s a bunch a green grapes. Jaebum snorted. “What are you listening to?”

 Jaebum slipped the earbuds out of his ears and tapped his phone just so he could pause the music. It’s been playing so softly Jaebum could hear practically everything on the ambient around him, including Jinyoung’s whining. “Music.” He replied matter-of-factly, only to see the no-bullshit glare Jinyoung gave him afterwards. It’s become so nice to tease Jinyoung nowadays. “ _Nirvana_.” Propping his chin in the palm of his hand, he revealed. “And what should I be thanking you for?”

“This.” Jinyoung pushed one of the sketchbooks he’d taken out of his bag towards Jaebum. The table looked like an artistic mess of school materials, and it’s really interesting how intimate that whole setting seemed. After one second, Jinyoung commented, “I didn’t know you liked _Nirvana_.”

“There are a lot of things about me that you don’t know.” Jaebum bit back, although it lacked any kind of malice. It came out way more like a statement than anything else.

“Yeah.” A beat passed in silence, and Jaebum looked up from the sketchbook he’d been handed only to raise one eyebrow at the unreadable expression Jinyoung wore then. The guy regarded him as if Jaebum was a mystery he couldn’t solve but was immensely entertained by and determined to try doing so.

 They looked back and forth for a few more seconds until Jinyoung cleared his throat and jabbed his forefinger in the direction of the book again. “Anyway, take a look at that. I spent quite a couple of nights on that shit, so you better buy me the most expensive of coffees today.”

 Jaebum frowned softly, taking his eyes back to the bundle of paper sheets lying in front of him on the table. As he warily flipped the pages, his eyes widened and something inside his chest clenched. Jinyoung’s words still rang in his ears, and he just couldn’t understand _why_ the guy has done all of that. For him, even. Jaebum may have started to panic a little.

“What is this?” He croaked, staring at Jinyoung with a slight dazed and frenetic look in his eyes. The thought that Jinyoung spent nights working on a very complete research about Greek mythology only to help him decide what he wanted to do for his final project wasn’t sitting well with him. “Jinyoung, why you—”

“I told you I could help.” Jinyoung explained, mirroring the furrow on Jaebum’s forehead and jutting his bottom lip out in a whiny pout; it felt like he’s talking to his parents after they hadn’t allowed him to do what he wanted. It could be absurdly cute if it weren’t for the petty energy it gave off.

“But, this…” Jaebum did a pained noise in the back of his throat. “This is too much. You shouldn’t have- fuck, Jinyoung, you did spend nights on this for me, and all when you could be doing your own stuff, and- I feel so bad?” It shouldn’t have come out as a question, but it did. Jaebum gripped his hair by the roots, pulling at it while looking at the almost ten pages of information Jinyoung had given him. He truly felt bad.

 Jaebum had realized just then that the uncomfortable sensation of someone clutching his heart came from him feeling bad for all Jinyoung’s done to him, when he wasn’t supposed to even great him good morning a while ago. That wasn’t what rivals did; that wasn’t them. Jinyoung caring so much about him to the point of helping him out with his academic project instead of focusing on his own… it scared him beyond words.

 But then it also made him feel so grateful he could already feel the characteristic prickle of tears behind his eyes. He didn’t deserve Jinyoung. Jinyoung shouldn’t care for such a creep as him, who was attracted to his hands, his man bun, his quirky sense of humor and his body and face, and who dreamed about him night in and out helplessly. Jinyoung didn’t deserve that. Jaebum couldn’t stop feeling bad.

“Feel bad for what?” Jinyoung scoffed. “Because you just now realized how wonderful of a person I am?”

“I’m being serious, Jinyoung.” Jaebum admonished, shaking his head. He flipped the pages of the sketchbook again. Everything he should know about the theme they’d chosen for him to work on was there, detailed down and wrapped in a golden ribbon. It’s almost like his monography was all ready already. “You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“It isn’t like you forced me into doing anything, so drop it. My monography is practically ready, and I had plenty of time to spare. It didn’t hinder any of my projects, since I’ve finished my final one already, so stop being so dramatic over this.”

“I’m not being dramatic.” Jaebum couldn’t help grumbling, and now it’s him the one who pouted. He could hear Jinyoung mocking him, repeating his words in a ridiculous childish tone, and that made him flip Jinyoung off. The guy snorted, but Jaebum just kept on saying, “It’s just not fair.”

“Of course, it’s not fair.” Jinyoung’s lips were sticking out, petulant and teasing. “You still didn’t buy me my coffee, and the class if about to start.”

 Jaebum rolled his eyes, kicking Jinyoung’s shin under the table and making him yelp indignantly. The satisfaction of messing with Jinyoung lasted only so much, though, since he immediately retaliated and kicked Jaebum right back. They stuck their tongues out to each other and settled back into their seats.

 Jaebum focused his attention back on the sketchbook on his grasp. All the effort and time Jinyoung had put into that unexpectedly kind research truly moved him, and he could feel the gears turning in his head.

 Just as he’d thought before, it’s long since stopped being about the inspiration he got from Jinyoung’s hands, even though he still saw them as his ultimate muses. Now, even Jinyoung’s heart was inspiring him, and Jaebum could only go so far without allowing himself to realize that the truth was that he’s falling for Jinyoung.

 That, however, didn’t mean he had to admit it out loud; not to Jinyoung, and not even to himself. It was one of those things he was painfully aware of, but that remained in the depth of his core. Another dirty addition to his Secret Room.

 Amidst all the jumbled thoughts that raced in his head, what Jaebum let out next was a soft, embarrassingly shy “Thank you.” that got the both of them off guard. As Jaebum tried to hide his blush by fumbling with his bag to pick up his wallet, Jinyoung watched him with this incredibly delighted expression that caused small chills to course allover his skin.

 And when he let that talk die in favor of making a quick escape to the coffee machine just so he could buy Jinyoung his coffee, Jaebum didn’t notice it, but Jinyoung was looking at him go with way more affection than he usually let on.

 

 Their little Coffee Dates went on for the following weeks, and it didn’t take long for Jaebum to start anticipating that time of his day more than anything else. Suddenly, waking up early once a week didn’t sound that awful of an idea anymore.

 Given their schedules and the many different classes they were taking on that last semester, it’s hard to meet one another more than three times in a month, but this had been fixed barely on their fourth week of rarely seeing each other around campus. They’d decided to go to college even in the days they weren’t supposed to have any classes under the excuse of working on Jaebum’s final project together.

 Jaebum’s tried to argue and refute such predicament fervently, but Jinyoung just ignored him and did what he wanted. And apparently, he wanted to meet up every Monday, Wednesday and Friday until midday, them having classes those days or not. Jaebum knew better than to keep trying to cancel those.

 One month and a half into that setting, and Jaebum already had many ideas of what to make for his final project--even though the one he still liked the most remained hidden in the deepest corner of his makeshift storeroom, broken and unfinished just like the very idea of it.

 The ones he felt most inclined to developing then were a full-body sculpture of Icarus, and another one of Venus. The both of them had taken his liking, and thanks to Jinyoung’s thorough research and constant assistance in the historical part of each, he’s already halfway done with the monography of both. The only thing he’d have to do next was choosing which one he’d be using in the end.

 Jaebum had even filled in the obligatory form for the professors to decide whether those two concepts were acceptable for his graduation work, and after one week, he’d gotten their answers. Both have gotten accepted.

 He hasn’t told Jinyoung this yet--their last _date_ and the ones of their next week having gotten cancelled due to some conflict in their personal schedules and both having other things to do besides academic matters—but they’d be meeting up someday in two-weeks time again, and he could already feel the butterflies in his stomach making a fuss in anticipation. Jaebum hated how _disgusting_ he’d gotten for Jinyoung in such a short time.

 The time they finally stood apart for more than a couple of days helped Jaebum to realize how less of a rival he considered Jinyoung now, and it bothered him to some extent. Because competing with Jinyoung, bickering about shallow things, and even exchanging a few punches here and there, was so engraved in him that he couldn’t help finding it weird how civic they’re being nowadays. It almost felt like they’re friends--like they always have been. And that was unarguably unsettling.

 Jaebum knew how to act when he’s supposed to make of Jinyoung’s life a living hell. But when they actually got along? And helped each other just for the sake of it, without wanting anything in return? Those were uncharted grounds to Jaebum, and he just didn’t know what to do.

 He didn’t know what to do when Jinyoung laughed openly _with_ him rather than _at_ him, and he didn’t know what to do with how hard his heart was getting used to beating whenever Jinyoung was around. It’s tiresome, and soon enough, Jaebum found himself even more tired than when he’d insomnia.

 And with the familiar sense of being restless and drained out, came the desire to create. Jaebum would often wonder how those two things could be related in any form, but it’s no news to him that his works would often come out better and more “full of feeling” whenever he did them at the brink of passing out.

 The thing about succumbing to this honest, raw, and primal want to create that generally haunted him was that, without the thin layer of self-control and good sense filter that usually restrained him, he’d throw caution to the wind and follow his heart.

 And what came from his heart were more and more pieces of Jinyoung’s every angle. Drawings, paintings, sculptures, and even printmaking; Jaebum would spend days immortalizing Jinyoung in every form of art he knew of until he’d feel like he’d gone mad and throw everything away. He’d often cry in despair as an aftereffect, but that was of very little importance.

 There still were 10-something cups of coffees left for him to complete his part of their bet, so they’d be having more of their dates in the future, but Jaebum thought that, right now, in his current state of mind, a few days away from Jinyoung would do him good.

 And, as he stood then, sprawled on the floor of his apartment with hundreds of paper sheets containing drawings that went from Jinyoung’s hands to sketches of Icarus and Venus for his project scattered all around him, he miserably thought that there weren’t how things could get worse from there.

 Just that karma has long since taught him that they did, and Jaebum was reminded of it the moment he opened his door to a very cheerful and eager Jinyoung grinning up at him.

 In essence, it’s just shocking to see someone you’re so used to hate, to compete and bicker with since you were both kids, and whose very existence has been driving you insane in ways that it shouldn’t for the past year, standing on your doorstep at midday, on a Sunday, looking almost pleased to see you freeze before the mere sight of them.

 That being said, Jaebum was a faithful believer that nobody could really blame him for standing there, gaping at Jinyoung as if he’d grown a horn or two, for at least three minutes before nearly shrieking, “What the _fuck_ are you doing in here?”

 The way Jinyoung laughed at his behavior was just _so_ annoying. “Visiting.”

 Jaebum watched, unbelieving, as Jinyoung calmly pushed him aside and stepped inside. He stood there for another two minutes only digesting what was happening before snapping out of his trance and shutting the door with a groan. If he’s suspecting of liking Jinyoung then, now he’s a hundred percent sure of hating his guts.

 Panic flooded him as the thought that he might just have been caught red-handed struck him, and the combination pushed all the air out of his lungs to leave him breathless. His mind was reeling, scrambling to remember which of his drawings were most visible in that mess of papers, and if he could save face in some way when Jinyoung confronted him about them.

 Despite his near breakdown, Jaebum still had the conscious to discreetly glance down on himself. Shit, he’s still wearing his old and clearly well-loved pajamas--the light-blue one that had this cute pattern of kittens allover. He wasn’t expecting any kind of visit that day, hence his poor state of haven’t showered for the past two days and the slight mad look that etched every of his features. Fucking Jinyoung, how could someone always have such the worst timing ever? Jaebum felt like stomping his feet in frustration.

 Jinyoung was sitting cross-legged on the floor (right in the middle of where the living room and bedroom mingled together) when Jaebum walked back from the threshold. He’d bothered to take off his shoes by the entrance, so his socked feet wiggled under his weight as he inspected the new drawing Jaebum’s been working on for the past few days. Felling pretty much at home, as it seemed.

 Jaebum watched him for one moment or two, taking in the fact that Jinyoung was wearing _fucking_ khaki overalls over a black long-sleeved shirt and had his horn-rimmed glassed perched on his straight nose. His raven-black hair was once again falling down his neck and framing his face, hiding almost all of it given the slight hunched position he’s in.

 It still felt so foreign to see him there, sitting on Jaebum’s linoleum as if they’re friends and liked to hang out together, that Jaebum couldn’t help rubbing at his eyes as if Jinyoung would disappear the moment he reopened them, just like one of the many dreams Jaebum’s had with him. Nothing but an enticing fantasy.

 Jaebum pressed the heels of his palms against the sockets until it hurt, and then rubbed at it hard. However, when he opened his slight stinging eyes again, Jinyoung was still there. Sitting on his floor. Inspecting his drawing. Chewing on his lower lip as he concentrated. Jaebum sighed in defeat.

“What’s this?” Jinyoung asked after a while, and it seemed to have broken the spell Jaebum was in, because in the next moment he felt his legs moving on their own, taking him to where Jinyoung was. When his feet thudded mutely on the ground as he made to sit down, the guy raised his head to look back at him. “Icarus?”

“If you know who it is, why are you asking?” Jaebum huffed, trying to sound rude and sharp like he always did whenever he and Jinyoung started bickering, but even himself noticed how his voice lacked the usual animosity, only to give place to this very soft edge Jaebum wasn’t sure he liked yet.

“It kinda reminds me of _‘The Fall of Icarus’_ by Slodtz.” The other continued, looking back at the drawing and completely ignoring the jab thrown at him. He skirted the tip of his fingers across the sheet of paper very slowly, as if it was too precious and his touch alone could ruin it, and Jaebum held his breath at the sight. “You decided on what you’ll be making, then?”

“It’s him, or Venus.” Jaebum explained with a nod, distractedly pulling and rolling the piercings dotting his ear between his fingers. “I presented them to the professors--y’know, in that report thing--and the both of them got accepted, now I just have to pick one.”

“Really?! This is so nice, I’m happy they got accepted!” Jinyoung seemed genuinely excited with that news, eyes widening in the way they did whenever he was too eager about something, and Jaebum might’ve fallen a little bit deeper then.

 Jinyoung clasped his free hand around Jaebum’s forearm and gave it a congratulatory shake, pretty much like a giddy child that couldn’t control their body while under bursts of enthusiasm, almost causing Jaebum to pull too harshly at the silver ring around his cartilage by accident. He hissed, pulling a face and letting his hand fall from his ear to avoid a possible catastrophe. Jinyoung apologized, but he was still smiling while holding onto Jaebum’s wrist now. Jaebum let him be.  

“It’s good so far.” Jinyoung commented after one moment, once again looking down at the drawing. His admiring expression twitched for the briefest of moments, slowly morphing into a more serious one, and then he licked his lips as if he was only then realizing something important. “I don’t think Icarus had such long hair, though.”

 At this, Jaebum’s eyes widened and darted to the drawing as he practically sprung from his seat to have a better look at it. And true to those words, the man on his drawing had a way longer hair than the one he remembered as being how Icarus was usually portrayed, thick and dark strands spread messily on the floor of the sketch. The man he used to represent Icarus had his hair length reaching the end of his neck.

  _Hell._

 Jaebum scrunched his nose, grimacing at how much of Jinyoung he’d put onto that drawing, and his hand flew across the space between them and tried to take the drawing from Jinyoung’s perfect, slender fingers. Only to have Jinyoung releasing the hold he had on Jaebum’s wrist and leaning away, stretching his other arm as far and out of reach as he could. Jaebum ended leaning over him in the process of trying to reach it either way, and then—and then they were standing way too close, and Jinyoung was staring into his eyes way too intently.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung breathed, so soft and low it sounded like a whisper. Jaebum had his mouth hanging open around either a protest or a plead, and it felt like he couldn’t pull in any air while being so close to Jinyoung, feeling his breath fanning across his cupid bow so delicately it hurt. Jaebum wasn’t trying to reach the drawing anymore. “It’s been some time since I first noticed this, but. Care to tell me why almost all your drawings resemble me in some way?”

 Jaebum could hear his heartbeat on his ears, strong and insistent and out of rhythm, and the headiness that was slowly clouding his mind made him frown. For some reason, he felt high only by locking eyes with Jinyoung and occasionally letting them glance down at those moist, upsettingly red lips. Jaebum was sure they weren’t that shiny before; he would’ve noticed. Unless Jinyoung had wetted them just then.

 The thought of Jinyoung licking them wet caused a stray surge of electricity to rush down his spine, and his breath hitched. He could see Jinyoung’s eyes turning even darker behind his horn-rimmed glasses, heavier, pulling him in.

“They… don’t…” He still tried to protest--to deny the clear tension that had settled around them like a burning hot blanket. Jinyoung shifted, and then Jaebum found himself lying almost completely on top of him over the linoleum floor, supporting part of his weight on one bent arm, digging his elbow on the narrow space between Jinyoung’s shoulder and the nearby coffee table.

 There was this unsteady pounding echoing right underneath his chest, and after momentarily misconstruing it for his own heartbeat, he soon realized that it’s, in fact, Jinyoung’s.

“No?” Jinyoung teased, that annoying smirk of his making Jaebum’s heart do somersaults. Jaebum could only shake his head dumbly in a weak ‘no’. Every nerve-ending on his body was way more focused on the featherweight touch that shimmied up his sides, pressing hotly over the fabric of Jaebum’s pajama shirt. He shuddered despite himself. Jinyoung breathed harder.

 Jinyoung’s glasses were starting to get foggy by that point, their heated breathing and closeness making it blur slightly. Jaebum used the hand that wasn’t supporting him on the floor to peel them off Jinyoung’s face, putting them aside on the floor with a short-lived clatter.

 Jaebum didn’t know how much time he spent just drinking in the sight of Jinyoung’s lips almost imperceptively quivering then, because it did feel like time had stopped on them two on the floor, but eventually he felt a hand cupping his jaw and guiding him down, closer, lower.

 The last things his hooded eyes registered before fluttering close was the look of complete abandon and realization that crossed Jinyoung’s as he slowly closed them too. And then, there’s the (at first still hesitant) press of lips, accompanied by a breathy hum Jaebum wasn’t sure who it’s come from. All the certainty he had was that the mind-blowing emotion that consumed him couldn’t be expressed through words.

 Kissing Jinyoung didn’t feel like a moment thing; it felt like something bigger, deeper in all senses of the word; something that has been growing, and growing, and growing with time until it culminated in that explosion of unshed feelings. It felt like the buildup of a rollercoaster, really; the goosebumps, the tension, the anticipation. All resulting in the climax of finally tasting each other, connecting in ways that wasn’t possible before. It’s overwhelming--pure and truthfully overwhelming.

 And maybe that’s why Jaebum felt so inebriated and intoxicated by that moment now, head spinning and body thrumming as he dared to move his lips wider, kissing Jinyoung each time firmer, harder, longer. And Jinyoung gave as good as he got.

 The papers beneath them rustled when Jinyoung squirmed, creaking lightly when the weight of their bodies would create tiny folds on them. Jaebum pulled back for air first, inhaling sharply when Jinyoung instantly leaned up to follow his mouth, propping himself up on one elbow. The position was uncomfortable at first, but then there’s a warm hand tentatively sliding around the back of his neck to keep him in place, and Jaebum did the same while tilting his head into a better angle, so it became perfect.

 When Jinyoung flicked his tongue at the seam of Jaebum’s lips, a shy yet still saccharine sweet request, Jaebum opened up for him with such submission it pulled a breathy sigh out of the other. A whimper vibrated in the back of Jaebum’s throat when their tongues slid together. This time, it’s Jinyoung’s body that thrummed with emotion underneath his.

 Jaebum felt like his head and body were on fire both, every coherent thought that might’ve been left now burning to ashes as his entire system shortcutted to the sound of Jinyoung’s gasp when he nipped on the plushness of his bottom lip, pulling it with his teeth rather harshly just so he could kitten-lick it in an apology right away. Jaebum could swear he heard a sob-like calling of his name when their lips weren’t directly pressed together, but he wasn’t sure. It still sent a jolt of heat straight to his groin, anyway.

“It’s because I can’t get you outta my head.” Jaebum answered again the question Jinyoung had asked him moments ago--honestly now, and only because he couldn’t control his mouth; too lost in the alluring daze that was kiss Jinyoung and feel his warmth seeping through all those layers of cloth. His lips dragged down and across Jinyoung’s chin, biting at the protruding curve before making his way up the jaw, leaving wet pecks all along. “I can’t stop dreaming about you.” He breathed against one ear, sucking the earlobe into his mouth for only one second.

 Jinyoung whined, hissed something Jaebum didn’t understand, and the hand he still had securely wrapped around Jaebum’s nape was now grazing its blunt nails against the skin, leaving delicious shivers in their wake. Jaebum breathed shakily at the same time Jinyoung panted.

 Jaebum leaned back so he was sitting on his heels, and only then he noticed how he’s actually straddling Jinyoung’s legs while pinning him to the floor. His chest heaved as he tried to regain his breath, eyebrows furrowing to focus past the haziness clouding his mind. It’s after a few minutes willing his heart to stop thumping so hard inside his ribcage that Jaebum finally _saw_ Jinyoung.

 The very sight of Jinyoung underneath him was enough to make Jaebum let out a shuddery moan.

 Jinyoung was by far the prettiest thing that Jaebum’s half lidded eyes have ever witnessed; especially with his lips deep red from all the relentless biting that has been done on them, sleek black hair pooling around his head like a damn halo and pointing to every direction in disarray, and overall fucked-up appearance that was stirring something in Jaebum’s guts.

 Jinyoung was still breathing erratically while looking up at him, one nervous and painfully uncertain question shining in his eyes, and that made him look so vulnerable and afraid that Jaebum felt like cradling his face and kissing all that worry away. After just one moment and barely none resistance from his still dormant good senses, that’s exactly what he did.

 Jinyoung sighed dreamily when their mouths connected again, and as Jaebum slid their tongues together with this perfect, unhurried and teasing pressure, he distantly thought that that might be the answer the guy’s been actually waiting for.

 Jaebum soon discovered a few things; (a) he liked the tiny mewls Jinyoung would make whenever Jaebum’s free hand strayed and gripped his biceps through his black long-sleeved shirt, (b) he liked the way Jinyoung tasted, an interesting mix of spice and something tooth-rotting sweet that resembled cotton candy, and (c) he liked how Jinyoung would often find the need to give him these light scratches as if that’s his way of coping with the amount of desire he’s trying to hold in.

 Jaebum discovered he liked many intimate things about Jinyoung, but nothing compared to the completely enraptured and thrilled look that would glint in those dark orbs whenever Jaebum pulled back to admire his blushing face--only to dive back in and take both their breaths away again the next second.

 Eventually, Jaebum broke the kiss, but his mouth still hovered close to Jinyoung’s, breathing against his parted lips. Jinyoung’s hands were fisted on the front of his pajama shirt, either to push him away or pull him closer he didn’t know, but he hoped for the latter. Their eyes locked and an entire minute passed like that, until Jaebum decided to lean even further away and get off of Jinyoung on the floor. Jinyoung released his shirt and they both sat up.

 Jaebum cleared his throat, raking trembling fingers through his slight overgrown hair. “We need to talk.” His voice sounded so rough and deep he could see Jinyoung squirming before him. The reaction brought a smirk up to his lips, and his heart sort of sang. That was so annoyingly cute.

 Jinyoung nodded his agreement, bringing one thumb up to brush the side of his mouth, cleaning whatever bit of saliva that might be left. Jaebum followed the action with hawk-like eyes, torn between ogling those swollen red lips or that attractive veiny hand. Fuck, his pajama pants felt uncomfortably tight.

“First of all,” Jaebum started. “What the fuck just happened?”

“You cockblocked the two of us.” Jinyoung deadpanned, making a face when Jaebum widened his eyes and raised both eyebrows at him in shock, looking almost scandalized at Jinyoung being so forthright.

“Not _that_!” Jaebum stretched one leg just so he could kick Jinyoung’s. That earned him a snort. “I meant before, as in… the kiss. Why did we kiss? That isn’t something we’re… supposed to do.”

 They fell silent for a while. Jaebum’s words rang in the air, thick with meaning and heavy with anticipation. Jinyoung was looking down at the many sheets of paper spread either around or underneath him on the floor, and then stared off into the distance as if his thoughts were just as far away. Jaebum watched him with this insistent longing in his chest that squeezed hands around his guts. Anticipation made him kinda sick.

 With a sheepish, yet mostly noncommittal shrug, Jinyoung then said, “It felt nice”. His expression gave nothing away, suddenly closed off and distant as if he’s trying so hard to downplay what happened that he recurred to dissociation. It’s like Jinyoung thought that Jaebum would rather for them to brush it all off, and then was taking the reigns to show he’s alright with making it that way.

 Just like his insecurity, that detachment from reality and severe need to sacrifice his own emotions in behalf of others didn’t fit Jinyoung. Jaebum _hated_ it.

“ _Nice_?’” Jaebum scoffed, pointedly bringing the matter back to the table, just that under a different approach. That was his way--his very clumsy and honestly not very clear way--to tell they were having that conversation now, and that that matter wouldn’t be put aside as nothing, because, despite what Jinyoung must’ve thought at Jaebum’s slight panicked accusation, it did matter.

 He wasn’t sure if he’d transmitted all such complicate feelings through a simple word, but he backed it up with a teasingly harsh slap down on Jinyoung’s thigh for good measure. The sharp sound echoed around the room along with the squeaky noise Jinyoung cried out then.

 Jinyoung seemed to have noticed the implications of that gesture right away, whipping his head around to stare at Jaebum with meek surprise lighting up his face. The way his expression changed from somber to unmistakably hopeful was like the blossom of a tree, sure but slow. It’s just so delightful to watch.

 Anyhow, Jaebum tried to look annoyed, crossing his arms over his chest, but his tone was still way too whiny as he complained, “You can’t possibly describe that as just ‘nice’.”

 As quickly as the tense mood had fallen upon them, it dissipated in invisible curls of air. Jinyoung watched Jaebum for one second too long, expression unreadable safe for the amused glint to it, and then shared a small chuckle while running one hand through his hair, scratching at the back of his head.

 Rising to the bait and falling back into their easy, light banter, Jinyoung leaned back on his elbows. “What do you want me to say, then?” He cocked his head to the side, a sly and lazy smirk tilting the corners of his mouth upwards, and Jaebum gulped at how good-looking the man naturally was. “That I kinda blackened out for a moment from the rush of hormones, and that I’m rock hard just from having your tongue in my mouth?”

“No.” The affected little noise that got caught in his throat at that statement made it hard for his words to come out evenly and unbothered. A jolt of electricity alighted the most sensible nerves of his lower abdomen, and he tried to discreetly adjust the bulge in his pants. “That’s better, though.” He added still, clearing his throat and looking away with an indulgent nod.

 Jinyoung barked an unbelieving laugh, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

 Jaebum considered bickering back, but stopped short after seeing how those dark-brown irises sparkled brightly with affection while looking back at him. He decided to say what’s on his mind instead, suddenly serious. “I’m just confused. We’re supposed to hate each other and compete for everything, aren’t we? We’ve even fought a few times, and I used to despise the very thought of being nice to you. But, then… then the dreams began, and I couldn’t stop staring at your hands, and you were being so nice to me. I feel so out of sorts, y’know? What happened to _us_?”

 Jinyoung took a more serious posture as well, sitting up again and nodding his understanding when Jaebum finished speaking. “I never hated you.” He confessed after a bit, having picked up on the rhetorical note of Jaebum’s borderline existential questions and knowing better than to answer them. “It’s just highly entertaining to mess with you. I’ve always admired you to some degree.”

“That’s bullshit.” Jaebum called him on it. At Jinyoung’s curious look, he elaborated. “Jinyoung, you broke my nose thrice.”

“You gave me a black eye.”

“That was in fucking high school.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Jinyoung waved him off, clicking his tongue in chastisement, but he’s still grinning at the memory. They’ve had many of those petty fights that’d usually become physical in the past, and interesting enough, Jaebum remembered them with only so much resentment now. Those times seemed so far away now. Jaebum didn’t really regret having gone through them.

 But he did regret remembering Jinyoung of them, because now the guy wouldn’t stop grinning at the memory of their high school years--probably reminiscing the way Jaebum would bleach his hair and wear clothes so colorful it hurt the eye.

 And as if to confirm his thoughts, Jinyoung suddenly blurted, “That time you dyed only this strand of your bleached hair bright red? You really looked like those damn rubber chickens.”

 Jaebum growled in embarrassment and despair both. He really didn’t need to be reminded of that. “I really hate you.”

 Jinyoung sneered hotly. “Well, that’s funny, because I thought you couldn’t get me outta your head, neither could you stop dreaming about me.”

 Heat coursed allover his body in such a violent speed Jaebum sweated a little. It’d be an understatement to say his entire face, neck, chest and ears were burning red when he took both hands up to hide his mortified expression behind. He’d been beating himself over that for such a long time already--sleepless nights and anxiety at its peak being more than a confirmation--only to blurt it all out that easily, and to the last person he should’ve done so. That was just the worst.

 Digging the pad of his fingers against his closed eyelids, Jaebum lamented. “Shit. I can’t believe I said that.”

“Me neither. I always came on the spot.” Jinyoung revealed, sticking his tongue in between one open-mouthed grin as in this habit he had whenever he’s feeling especially playful (a very rare trait), basking in the dying noise Jaebum reacted with. Jaebum really felt like giving Jinyoung another black eye now.

 And maybe a hickey.

“Shut up.” He growled again, not really sure whether he’s talking to Jinyoung or his own thoughts. Both needed to give him a break anyway, so he just heaved a long sigh. “Where… where does this leave us? I mean. What now?”

“Now you’ll tell me why it seems like all your drawings are me in different settings, and what does it have to do with the dreams you’ve been having about me.” Jinyoung looked down at the various drawings pooling by his sides. “And then,” he licked his lips, and Jaebum realized, with certain mystification, how the guy was actually nervous about what he’s about to say next. “then, we’ll have lunch. We can decide what to do later.”

 They looked at each other as silence slowly sank back in, having another one of those moments where time and space would stop only to watch them. Jaebum considered what Jinyoung was proposing to him--to open up and be honest for once, without the defensiveness that was already so engraved to them--and even though he didn’t like the idea of telling all the details of his creepiness to the other and have him being possibly freaked out at the revelation, he just knew that there wasn’t how to play dumb and pretend he didn’t know what he’s talking about. They’ve gone past the point of no return.

 Jinyoung needed to know, and as much as that would break all those walls Jaebum’s spent years building around himself in a snap of fingers, he should just do it already. Maybe, it’s even for the better.

 That seemed like it could work.

“Seems like a plan.” It’s what he said in the end, and for once, reciprocated the almost giddy smile Jinyoung flashed him before picking up a random paper sheet from the floor. And so, Jaebum told him everything.

 

 Jaebum told Jinyoung about the dreams, about the newly developed attraction to his hands, about the drawings, and even about the many sculptures hid on his Secret Room. Jaebum got it all of his chest, and Jinyoung… Jinyoung listened to him. A little over an hour was spent on that. And then, it’s all good.

 In all honesty, that wasn’t what Jaebum was expecting to happen.

 He was expecting Jinyoung to get mad at him, disgusted by how weird and gross and just plain wrong that whole thing was. Jaebum was expecting Jinyoung to call him on his bullshit, give him a dirty glare, and then leave him to pick up the shards of his broken heart and deal with his guilty conscious.

 All the worst scenarios have been playing inside his head in a restless loop for the entire time, and he’s already bracing himself for the impact Jinyoung’s spiteful words would have on him.

 The thing was, that whirlwind of shitty outcomes Jaebum so desperately tried to get ready for, well, it never came.

 After Jaebum had come clean about his creepy behavior, Jinyoung looked him in the eye and cooked them a heavy silence for good two minutes, and then, with the grace and sensitiveness of a diplomat, he smiled. Next thing he knew, Jinyoung was pulling him in for another kiss, this one wedging way more feeling and raw affection than the last. Caught off guard, he didn’t reciprocate it right away, but then he melted right against him while kissing him with equivalent fervor. And just like that, they’re good.

 Of course, Jinyoung still interrogated him after that, clarifying a few details here and there, but in the end, he just confessed something Jaebum would never expect to ever hear.

“It’s not that creepy.” Jinyoung started (after Jaebum’s spent the last 10 minutes apologizing for harassing him like that and asking for his understanding even though he didn’t think he deserved it). “It’s actually pretty normal, to have these kinds of dreams about someone you’ve been spending so much of your life with, you wanting it or not. It’s kind of an unconscious thing, so you shouldn’t beat yourself over it that much.” And with a snicker, he dropped the bomb. “I used to dream about you a lot too.”

 Jaebum gaped, incredulous. “You did? Why?”

“Who the fuck knows, really. It’s nothing like yours, though. I just dreamed of us hanging out together, and like, being friends and stuff. I guess that’s why I started treating you better after we graduated from high school.” Jinyoung grimaced. “Not exactly better, but… with less animosity. I just wanted us to get close.”

 The familiar sinking feeling that has already become a part of him for the past few months returned, and it left him slight nauseated with guilty. Jinyoung’s been wanting to become friends with him for so many years now, and all Jaebum has given him were cold shoulders and ugly glares. It wasn’t like he did it on purpose, but it still stung somehow. Jaebum felt like shit. “You should’ve said something.”

 Jinyoung shook his head, one rueful smile on his lips. “You’d have laughed and used that against me.”

 Jaebum couldn’t deny that, because, given the circumstances, he really would’ve gotten defensive and pushed Jinyoung away the most he could if that ever happened. “I would.” He admitted with a pained expression, looking apologetic once again. Maybe the way things were now was the best way they could’ve been.

 Jaebum still sulked for a while though, and Jinyoung fucking cooed at him, but Jaebum forgave him when the guy shuffled forward and tried to take that sour expression off Jaebum’s face by kissing him over and over again. And then, well. Then they had lunch.

 There still was a hell lot of things they should talk about left when they parted ways later into the evening, but Jaebum supposed they needed some time alone to think about it all calmly first. The line stipulating where they stood hasn’t been drawn yet, and the anxiety that was left to eat at his stomach when Jaebum found himself alone in his studio apartment again was the worst.

 However, he couldn’t deny the fact that he’s feeling lighter and happier than he had in years. Once again, all because of Jinyoung, and only him.

 


	5. Intimacy I

 

 Jaebum thought he’d have trouble both accepting and adapting to the inherent intimacy that’d come with this newly developed relationship between him and Jinyoung, hence his astonishment when it all came oh so naturally to him in the very next day. At spotting the guy across the campus’ garden, standing before the square notice board their professors used to pin academic notes and stuff, Jaebum was instantly hit by an overwhelming desire to take him in his arms and just hug him close. Oh no.

 The plan of them splitting up last evening was to give them both some time to think carefully about what had happened and reflect on it without the high influence of their hormones clouding their better judgment. That was better than doing something in the heat of the moment and bringing up unnecessary drama the morning after. It’s important for them to consider the consequences of their choices before acting on them.

 And Jaebum did consider them all. All night long.

 Truthfully, there wasn’t much to think about in regards of that issue. It’s pretty simple; if what he felt for Jinyoung went beyond the fascination he’d developed towards the man’s very form, he should pursue it. If his feelings were destined to the person he grew up bickering with, and not the muse the eccentric artist in him had chosen to worship for the entirety of his course, then there’s nothing wrong in giving it a chance.

 It wouldn’t be easy to treat Jinyoung differently from before--and really, there’s no conscious motive for him to do so. They didn’t need to change; not for one another, and much less to be together. Of course, Jaebum wouldn’t be getting into fist fights with Jinyoung like they used to do during their high school years--didn’t want to--but that’s that.

 Whatever feeling that’s blossomed in them along the line, it’s done so despite all their flaws, bad habits and usually vicious, unfair behavior towards one another. Whatever that’s blossomed in them, it’s for those tiny cracks they’d learned to spot in each other’s defensive façade. It’s for who they were.

 Jaebum got shocked with how okay he found himself to be with all of that by the end of the night. It’s a good feeling, an almost freeing one. Falling for Jinyoung might’ve freaked him out in the beginning, but the idea of it certainly posed differently for him now. It left his heart fluttering in his chest.

 Jaebum’s never thought he’d ever become so damn cheesy for one person someday, but if it’s for Jinyoung, he supposed it’s worth the change. Even though he kinda hated his guts for turning him into a sap now.

 Having spent the entire night shifting in bed with his thoughts filled by Jinyoung (and his mouth, and his touch, and his damned sweet smile), Jaebum felt soulless and a little out of it while crossing the garden in Jinyoung’s direction. Part of it magically felt better just by seeing the brilliant smile Jinyoung regarded him with after having looked up from the pamphlet he had in hands and noticed him approaching. Jaebum tried not to roll his eyes at himself.

 They didn’t have any class together on Mondays, but Jaebum would make do with the barely 20 minutes they had vacant in between the periods.

“Hey.” Jinyoung greeted first, squinting against the sunlight that momentarily licked at Jaebum’s frame when he took the spot beside him before the board. Jaebum answered with a somewhat shy jerk of head, and they looked at each other with a whole lot being said through their eyes for a moment.

 The absolute certainty that Jaebum’s reached in regards of their situation after mulling it over all night long was reflected in those dark-brown orbs now, and so Jaebum just knew; Jinyoung has decided to face whatever consequences that might there be and give them a chance as well. Such confirmation lifted a weight Jaebum didn’t know he’s been carrying over his shoulders, but it still felt immensely good.

 Jaebum still didn’t know where they stood in the intimacy aspect, but he figured that he must be really new to this because he was kinda waiting for Jinyoung to jump him or at least give him a small peck on the mouth in greeting after the day before, and it didn’t happen. The hateful pout that owned Jaebum’s lips when Jinyoung broke their eye contact to turn his attention back to the pamphlet was really justifiable, in his opinion.

“Have you seen this?” Jinyoung asked then, angling the pamphlet just so Jaebum could’ve a clear view of it. Jaebum willed his pout away while trying to play it cool.

 Taking a look at the leaflet, he studied the content printed in there for a moment before doing a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat as to voice his interest. “An art exhibition?”

“It says here it’s for after the final week.” Jinyoung read off the bit of information, turned the paper in his hands and studied the rest of the content indicated overleaf. “I suppose they mean this as in us bringing our graduation projects and displaying them in this exhibition to attract more public. And with more public I mean freshmen.”

 Jaebum looked over Jinyoung’s shoulder to try reading the general guidelines of the event (written in lower case letters on the top of the pamphlet) better. It did seem as though it was meant to attract more attention to their course, that art exhibition. However, it said in there that every student who wished to take part in the event should make a thorough registration at the administration office and specify how many artworks they’d be exhibiting.

 That being said, it seemed safe to assume they could display more works than the one they developed for their graduation, so it could be seen as a small space for them to promote themselves as well as helping the university to broaden their influence and renown. Everyone won. Jaebum liked the idea.

“I think it’s cool, actually.” He declared. “We can display our art and even get more recognition for it. Chansung once told me it practically rained these art scouts around campus during the last few weeks, so they could see something they like in this exhibition thing and maybe offer us a job.”

“Chansung?” Jinyoung tilted his head just so he could look at Jaebum without getting blinded by the stray sunrays that usually hit the building walls on that side of the garden.

“A senior that graduated last year. Don’t you remember him? We had a few classes together during our third semester.” Jaebum explained, brushing it off when Jinyoung just kept looking at him with a puzzled expression. “Anyway. This seems like a good opportunity.”

 Jinyoung pursed his lips in thought, once again studying the pamphlet in his pretty, pretty hands. Jaebum stared at them unabashedly now. “I guess.” The guy conceded.

“Will you participate?” Jaebum leaned against the wall, shoulder missing the corner of the board for a few centimeters. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and the light leather jacket he wore creaked with the movement. The sun was shining high in the sky, but the weather was still a bit chilly. It’d get cold soon.

“Will you?” Jinyoung threw back, and for a second there Jaebum held his breath; the thought that it might be just like in those Dramas now, where the couple would start doing everything together and only if the other did it too, made his heart swell. However, before he could entertain it further, Jinyoung deadpanned, “I’m only down if I can have everyone agreeing that my project is way better than yours.”

  _So that’s about it_ , Jaebum whined in his head, scoffing at himself. _Speaking of them remaining the same as always and not ever changing for the other, huh_. It’s funny, though, how Jaebum actually liked it way more than if it were to be any different. Despite denying it for over 10 years now, he’d grown fond of their daily banter.

 Rolling his eyes just for the sake of it, Jaebum bit back, “Well, it’d have to be better than mine first.”

“Trust me, my dear man, it fucking is.” Jinyoung stuffed the pamphlet into his messenger bag and then pushed his glasses up his nose, grinning. Jaebum wanted to sweep in and kiss that grin away, as in some sort of a punishment. It surely would be the most satisfying way he’s ever made Jinyoung shut up.

 Instead, he opted for keeping their talk going. “What’s it about?”

“Like hell I’ll tell you.” The petulant way with which Jinyoung lifted his chin made Jaebum give his shoulder a scolding shove, but the guy only grimaced mockingly back at him when regaining his balance. “It’s a secret. You’ll see it when you see it.”

“It better be damn good, then. I ain’t getting my expectations up to see a shitty dove spreading its wings.”

“Shut up, you loved my dove. It’s cute.” Jinyoung shrugged. “Don’t worry. It’ll be good.”

 Jaebum answered that with a teasingly incredulous _uh-huh_ before shaking his head and looking away, off into the distance. The flow of people around the garden and far back at the cafeteria has decreased considerably, and Jaebum had the mind to slip his phone away from his pocket and check the time. Lunch break was just about to end. He couldn’t believe how fast the time has passed.

 Groaning, he pocketed his phone again and leaned off from the wall. “Break’s over. What class do you have now?”

“None. I only have class on the first period during Mondays this semester, the second one is free.” Jinyoung explained, but he also turned around to take a look at the few stray souls that wandered around the patio near to them. “You?”

“Digital Photography.” Jaebum let out. The advanced course of Digital Photography has been one of Jaebum’s most anticipated subjects for their last semester, but he didn’t really feel like attending it right now, gaze falling back onto Jinyoung’s effortlessly beautiful profile. Clearing his throat, he scratched the back of his neck and waited until the other looked back at him to say, “Uh. I should be going now, then. See you later?”

 Jinyoung cocked his head in question at the same time Jaebum cursed himself inside his head. That ‘see you later’ really wasn’t meant to come out, because he was plain conscious of what that meant, and how it could’ve been easily interpreted as him indirectly inviting Jinyoung over to his apartment.

 But hell, weren’t them sort of dating now? It wasn’t all that wrong to lay such invite out on the table. Jaebum had every right to want to see Jinyoung again and more often, spend some time together and all that shit, even though he’d still feel positively embarrassed while doing so. It just. It felt as though he’s back to his awkward teenage years, and that wasn’t exactly the emotion he wanted to feel at the moment.

 Without prompting him to spill more than he already had, Jinyoung just snorted. “Yeah.” And with way too much mirth glistening in his slight narrowed eyes, he regarded Jaebum with an otherwise unreadable look.

“Alright.” Jaebum nearly stuttered, chewing on his lips anxiously, and then with another ‘okay’ leaving his mouth in a lower huff of breath, he spun on his feet to walk away. Shouldn’t have he kissed Jinyoung goodbye, or at least shook his hand, or whatever? It’s the worst, doesn’t knowing how to act or what kind of thing he could initiate between them. And Jinyoung being completely silent about it wasn’t helping shit.

 Jaebum decided that it’s all because he’s still too new to that new feature in their dynamic, and that everything would fall into place with time. It’d become easier and more natural in the future. Jaebum just had to let things flow.

 And just as he made his mind around this, he heard Jinyoung calling after him. “Jaebum.” The guy held him by the elbow, and before Jaebum could fully turn around to raise an eyebrow at him, he found himself being crowded against the wall with the corner of the notice board digging into his shoulder blade.

 He shifted into a better angle, hissing and still confused about what was happening, but then Jinyoung’s face blocked everything else in sight and warm breath hit his cupid bow. Next thing he knew, Jinyoung was diving in and swallowing the small surprised noise that almost made it out of his mouth. Jaebum wasn’t sure of what took his breath away first; if the demanding pressure of those plush lips sliding in between his own, or the realization that they were _finally_ kissing again. It probably has been a combination of both.

 Unbidden, an ecstatic smile stretched his lips during the kiss, and the thought of Jinyoung having to briefly pull away as not to end up pecking his teeth got his insides feeling funny, as if he’s suddenly made of bubbles and hot, sticky syrup. He could feel Jinyoung’s mouth twitching into a quick smile as well, quirking up at the corners, and then their lips locked again--with more intensity than before.

 The outer corner of Jinyoung’s glasses pressed against his cheekbone. It’d be uncomfortable if Jaebum wasn’t so lost in the delicious drag of a tongue across his own. But he was, so it didn’t really matter.

 As Jaebum’s arms snaked around Jinyoung’s neck to hold him close-- _closer_ \--he could feel the urgent touch of those wonderful hands crawling up the curve of his hips to rest on the small of his back, and the violent shudder that echoed through him when they squeezed the muscles there was followed by a demure whimper.

 Jinyoung hummed, an approval of sorts, and then sank his teeth onto the pillowy curve of Jaebum’s bottom lip, nibbling on it provocatively before pulling. When he released it with a small grunt, the spot tingled and burned with heat.

“ _Shit._ ” Jaebum breathed against Jinyoung’s mouth when they parted, trying to control the sudden hot wave of hormones that threatened to give him a boner in the middle of the campus, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Distantly, he could hear the other chuckling hoarsely while stepping away. Jaebum would’ve cursed him if his head wasn’t spinning so hard.

 A few moments later, when Jaebum managed to regain his breath and focus his gaze on Jinyoung again, the guy was smirking back at him. Before he could actively do or say something though, Jinyoung was already adjusting the strap of his messenger bag over one shoulder and uttering, “See you later.”

 In the next second, Jaebum was left to watch Jinyoung walk away with a spring to his step, whistling a soft tune Jaebum didn’t quite recognize, but that had sounded as teasing as the man itself.

 

 Just as Jaebum’s thought, things did start to get easier with time. One week, to be precise.

 After one week sharing these tidbits of intimacy, learning how to act around each other with the new addition of being able to lean in and steal a kiss or just stay close to one another, it started to feel more natural. And soon enough, Jaebum couldn’t really recall how it was to exist without having the warmth of Jinyoung’s presence lighting up every nerve in him--even when they were apart.

 It didn’t take long for such change to start influencing in his work as well. And although it’d already done so in the past, what with the many ideas that would drive him mad inspired and urge him to create, now it’s the opposite. While back then he’s gotten inspired, now the inspiration was gone.

 Well, not the _inspiration_ , really; Jaebum would never tire of worshiping Jinyoung’s entire figure and being highly inspired by that. It’s something else, but very alike in essence. The ideas were still coming, abundantly, but the problem lied in how to express them; how to mold these ideas into something real.

 Quite literally, in this case. Because, at the moment, Jaebum was having trouble moulding a fucking basic anatomy structure with clay--thing he’s done countless times before. But, making molds of the entire body was essentially harder than making molds of a portrait (or a pair of hands reaching).

 The subtleties of gesture and posture, as well as the tilts, angles and depths of expression, must be captured fairly within the piece. Jaebum had learned that during intermediate Portrait Sculpture classes two semesters ago, and craft classes had helped him to transform all that knowledge into real pieces last semester. He hadn’t had any difficulty developing that then, but now, he felt like he didn’t know where to even begin.

 That was a disgrace.

 It’s like Jaebum could only create something that was inspired in Jinyoung in some way, and that was really ridiculous. _Jinyoung brings the best in me_ , he let himself think for one second, but then groaned in despair and chased the thought away. Maybe he’s way more in love with Jinyoung than he’d thought.

 

 The weather had definitely become chiller in the following weeks, and Jaebum found himself replacing his old fan by his just as old heater. None of them worked all that greatly, but they made do.

 It wasn’t like Jaebum turned it on often, however. Days would pass without him even acknowledging its presence by one corner of his living room, too busy trying to get his head around the right angle to mould Icarus’s lying down form. And then, by the end of the month, the only things he’s able to achieve were another frustrated attempt at his final project and a mild flu.

 There was a little over two months before his graduation day, what meant he had to find a way to get his mind back on track and work on his project without more failure. As if that was something he had any control over. Jaebum found himself each time more discouraged with it, even though he tried his best to make it seem as if everything was alright and it’s just the flu making him look gloom and tired.

 Jinyoung, though, picked up on it right away.

“You look like absolute shit.” It’s the first thing he said as soon as Jaebum opened the door for him, frowning. He didn’t wait for an invite inside, just walked past Jaebum and closed the door behind themselves again. Jaebum simply watched him move about, sniffing. “And what the hell is wrong with this place, it’s colder than outside. Did you turn on the heater?”

 Jaebum narrowed his eyes in concentration, trying to remember if he did, and then scratched the back of his head in the universal gesture of shy uncertainty. “I don’t think so, no.”

 Jinyoung glared at him from his spot against the narrow counter in the small kitchen. It’s only then that Jaebum noticed the guy had brought in a large carrier bag with himself and was starting to empty it on the granite countertop. Two foam containers have already been placed on the counter, but then Jinyoung momentarily abandoned what he was doing in favor of marching to the heater.

 As expected, the heater was off when Jinyoung checked it. “Are you trying to freeze yourself to death, or are you just really stupid?” With a scolding click of his tongue, he fumbled with the buttons and turned it on. The old thing didn’t show signs of working until Jinyoung hammered his fist against its sides four times, and then the characteristic hum started to fill the room.

“Fuck off.” Jaebum whined, falling into a coughing fit next. Jinyoung scowled again, but the look on his face when he approached Jaebum still standing by the doorway, was one of worry and compassion. Placing one gentle hand against Jaebum’s forehead, he felt for his temperature for a moment. Jaebum couldn’t help closing his eyes and leaning just a bit further into the touch.

“You’re hot.” Jinyoung murmured, flipping his hand around to press the back of it against Jaebum’s forehead too. There’s another hand pressing against the curve of Jaebum’s waist from over his oversized shirt, as if to ground him there and keep him from swaying.

 Jaebum smirked, opening his eyes halfway. “Thank you. You’re hot, too.”

“Stop being a clown, you dumbass.” Jinyoung chided, even though his cheeks did turn a shade redder from the teasing compliment. Shaking his head with a helpless smile, he sighed. “I guess you have a bit of a fever. The flu hasn’t subsided fully yet, as it seems.”

 When Jaebum came down with a flu barely one week ago, he’d been adamant in pushing Jinyoung away from him just because he didn’t want the other to fall sick as well. Jinyoung had protested at first, but acquiesced as long as they could keep talking through messages and phone calls. It’s been the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other since they got into college, and Jaebum hated the prospect of it.

 Apparently, Jinyoung hated it too, if the fact he’d had enough and invited himself over today was something to go by. Jaebum hasn’t recovered from the flu yet (although he did feel better than when it’d knocked him down the week before), but he’s missed Jinyoung’s presence so much, he didn’t have the energy to protest now.

 And, as it seemed, Jinyoung wouldn’t allow himself to be pushed away anymore either. He’s always been intensely stubborn anyway.

“I’ve already took medicine, so it’ll probably start making effect in a while.” Jaebum sniffed. It’s pleasantly warm in there now; it felt like a giant blanket has been draped over him. He closed his eyes again and relished in the warmth for another moment.

 Jinyoung hummed in understanding, the hand he had on Jaebum’s clothed waist rubbing small circles in there, and then Jaebum felt the guy leaning in to give a small, quick peck right on the corners of his chapped lips before he could protest. Jaebum still made a whining sound at that, blinking his eyes open to glare at the other, but Jinyoung just smiled and slid one hand across the side of his face to cup his cheek, caressing it affably. Jaebum ended up smiling, too, despite himself.

“Come,” Jinyoung said eventually, hand now searching his just so he could entangle them together and guide him to the kitchen. Jaebum was unable to put up any resistance. “I brought us something to eat. It’s onion soup. I heard it helps to relieve the symptoms of the flu while shortening their duration.”

 A while later, as Jinyoung tried to tackle him down and shove a spoonful of onion soup down his throat after he’d grimaced at the very smell of it and refused to eat, Jaebum was struck by that thought again. He certainly was way more in love with Jinyoung than he’d thought.

 The realization left the butterflies in his stomach agitated for the rest of the day.

 After lunch, Jinyoung miraculously convinced Jaebum to go take a nap and wait for both the meds and the soup to work on his system. When Jaebum had frowned and tried to finally put up resistance at that, Jinyoung promised him he’d feel better when waking up later, and he felt pretty much like a kid being coaxed into going to bed earlier even though they kept whining they weren’t tired yet.

 Nevertheless, he relented. And just like those kids, Jaebum fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

 It’s way into the night when Jaebum woke up from his nap. Truth to Jinyoung’s words, he indeed was feeling better. The constant itch that had installed itself on his throat was gone, and so did his running nose. Judging by the gross feeling of his damp shirt gluing to his body and slick hair to his forehead, he’d sweated the fever out as well.

 Jaebum would think he’s completely recovered from the flu if it weren’t for the remnants of a faintly throbbing headache that assaulted him the moment he made to roll in bed. Still, that was the best he’s felt in days, and despite knowing the medicine he’s been taking for the past week has done the deed almost entirely, he liked to think that Jinyoung and his smelly soup have played a huge part in his recovery too.

 Looking around the room from his spot on the bed, Jaebum took a moment to discern Jinyoung’s silhouette from the sea of shadows that was his apartment. He’s leaning over the windowsill, serene face illuminated by colorful streetlight, watching the city stretching into a bleak urban landscape from this high perspective.

 The man was pure art--so utterly appealing it bordered on surrealism--and something about that pulled strings at Jaebum’s heart. A gratitude of sorts, for being blessed enough as to witness such beauty. Jaebum couldn’t stop the dreamy sigh that left his mouth then.

 Hearing the soft huff of breath, Jinyoung turned around. A sincere smile blossomed in those plush lips, and Jaebum felt his throat clogging up with emotion. How could this man have such effect on him? After all the rivalry and animosity always so present in their interactions, how had Jinyoung captivated Jaebum that much?

 Jaebum felt his chest hurt as if the heart it caged wanted to break through--as if the heart it caged didn’t belong to him anymore, and just wanted to go to its rightful owner. The sight of Jinyoung was enough to tell him to who it belonged now.

“Why is it so dark?” Jaebum croaked, voice quite roughish from the lack of use.

“Because it’s nighttime.” Jinyoung quipped back, and it reminded Jaebum so much of how those snarky comments were still so intrinsically _‘them’_ despite everything that he couldn’t stop an affectionate roll of eyes.

 There wasn’t how Jinyoung could’ve seen it given the dimness of the room, but he didn’t really need to. Leaning away from the windowsill, he stood straight and started to walk closer. “I didn’t want to turn the lights on and risk waking you up.”

“You could have.” Jaebum sat on the bed, thinking Jinyoung wanted to check his temperature again and dutifully tilting his head back to offer him his forehead. Instead, the guy aimed for his sweaty neck first, and the unbidden shudder that ran across his skin when those fingers slid down along the column of neck to dip under the collar of his shirt, made him gulp.

 Surely having felt those goosebumps echoing under his fingertips, Jinyoung cocked his head with a smirk. He hooked two fingers around the cloth and tugged at it twice. “Go change this. Take a shower and put on clean clothes.”

 Jaebum considered arguing, only to rile Jinyoung up if anything, but he’s already feeling so gross he instantly nodded his head and leaped from the bed. As he picked a few clean clothes from the drawer, he heard Jinyoung moving about again, and with a glance over his shoulder he noticed the guy was actually reaching for the power switch. Light flickered above them until it steadied.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Jaebum informed only just so he wouldn’t walk out the room without saying anything. Jinyoung raised both eyebrows, seemingly curious as of why he’s being told that, but he didn’t mention it, choosing instead to answer it with an ‘okay’ hand sign. Jaebum made his way to the bathroom after that.

 Usually, Jaebum would take his time under the showerhead, letting the almost too hot water wash his body and soul alike, relishing in the feeling of receiving a massage of a thousand droplets per second. It’s his self-care ritual, the moment he took to himself to unwind. And Jaebum enjoyed it dearly.

 However, with the knowledge that Jinyoung was still in his apartment, he couldn’t bring himself to take more than 10 minutes, too anxious about the fanciful prospect of Jinyoung bursting into the bathroom and crowding him in a corner and… Jaebum should stop that thought there. The point was, he couldn’t relax entirely, and in 17 minutes sharp he was already fully clothed and stepping out the bathroom in a fog of aromatic steam.

 It smelled of his Strawberry Baby Bath soap. Jaebum wondered if Jinyoung would pick up on that while toweling his hair. It surely had grown a lot since the last time he got it cut. Maybe he should let it reach his jaw, just like Jinyoung did to his, if anything a bit shorter. It’s a look he’d like to try out someday.

 Jinyoung had found his stock of oil-based clay and the many tools he’s been using on them earlier the week, shoved in between the bookshelf and the TV, when Jaebum entered the space of his living room again. Along with it, there’s this small, failed attempt of an Icarus sculpture based on the work of Slodtz that Jaebum’s tried to make. Jinyoung was curiously inspecting it, gaze sharp and meticulous. Jaebum watched him with the same intensity.

“This is all wrong.” Jinyoung commented seriously after three or so minutes, and so Jaebum knew the guy had really went through the trouble of making a whole analysis of it. “The angle isn’t right--here,”—he pointed to the chest, arms and legs of the figure, respectively—“see? It looks like the arm is dislocated, and the position, it doesn’t feel like he’s lying on top of his wings. The anatomy seems off, too.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Jaebum tried to joke, but he’s attentively listening and listing the main flaws that Jinyoung had pointed out. He circled both Jinyoung and the clay figure, rubbing the towel on his damp hair absently while thinking about whether he should try salvaging the piece or just throwing it all away and starting from the bottom all over again. The latter seemed more practical.

 Jinyoung leaned away from the sculpture and put his hands on his hips, still looking at it while tilting his head this and that way. He turned his attention to Jaebum for the first time since he’d left the bathroom. “You haven’t done any improvement yet?”

“I’m stuck, I don’t know why’s that. I can imagine it in my head, but when I try to mold such thought into clay, it comes out wrong.” Jaebum lamented.

“Maybe you should consider using a reference.” Jinyoung offered him a compassionate pat on the shoulder. If it were in another time, Jaebum would have gotten defensive and erroneously assumed it’s condescending instead, and then they’d fight again. The thought that he was finally and slowly learning to see things for what they were, cheered him up a little.

 The idea of using a reference was, actually, a good one. Even though Jaebum didn’t usually make use of them--choosing to let his mind run free and ruin work after work whenever the result didn’t meet his expectations--now, it’s different. The deadline was approaching in gallops, and he had practically nothing done yet. He should attach himself to every way possible that could help him to unstuck. And fast.

“Maybe.” He agreed, casually throwing his damp towel somewhere on the floor. Groaning, he crouched down to fumble with his tools and an unopened package of clay. “Yeah, I could definitely use some reference for this. The problem is that, _ugh_ , my time is running out. I can’t believe I had to get stuck on this.”

 Jinyoung made a noise of agreement, but didn’t say anything else. Jaebum supposed references were the best way to solve his problem, however, the most appropriate kind of reference for his case was a 3D one, where he could spot every little angle that has been giving him hell. 3D references were the hardest to find though, because they’re basically composed of models--like the ones they did during Life Painting classes--and finding a model at that rate wasn’t something Jaebum could count with, neither afford.

 In summary, he’s screwed. And he’d have to find a way out of that new type of artist’s block himself.

 As Jaebum decided to try working on his final project now that he felt a bit more alive than before, Jinyoung quietly walked to the narrow bookshelf and started to choose one of the little titles available there. Ever since Jinyoung began _visiting_ often and more often, they’ve learned how to work around each other harmoniously, and now, they shared the space as if they’ve always lived together.

 Usually, Jaebum would listen to music and Jinyoung would paint something, borrowing his art materials or just bringing his own in his backpack. Or, Jaebum would make clay sculptures just for fun while Jinyoung watched TV. There were even the days where Jaebum would cook them dinner and Jinyoung would walk around the apartment taking photos of every possible corner while playing with Jaebum’s camera. They’re great companies for one another.

 They got along wonderfully well, and it was so comfortable that Jaebum would catch himself wondering, more often than not, how nice would it be if they moved in together. It didn’t even have to be in that cramped studio apartment he was used to calling his home; somewhere bigger and closer to the train station, maybe. Somewhere _theirs_.

 Jaebum would always smile at that prospect before forcefully chasing the thought away. Moving in with Jinyoung sounded dreamy, but too rushed of a decision for now. They still were great companies for one another, nonetheless.

 Tonight, the setting was Jaebum forcing himself to work on his final project and Jinyoung reading a random book sprawled on Jaebum’s bed. They shared the comfortable silence that surreptitiously settled upon them for good one hour and a half until Jaebum couldn’t hold in his frustrated whines anymore. The angle of the new clay sketch he’s been working on was once again wrong.

 Jinyoung looked up from his book, watched Jaebum. It looked as though Jaebum would start either crying or throwing things in frustration, so he hastily turned around on the stool he’d borrowed from the kitchen and faced that direction instead of Jinyoung. He just needed a moment, Jaebum thought to himself. Those kinds of outbursts would happen pretty often when Jaebum was working on something--or trying very hard to--anyway.

 There was clay and oil on his fingers and palm, and it dribbled down his wrist when we brought it up to inspect the messy state of his hands. The material had started to dry up in some parts. Jaebum gave himself some time to breathe deeply and let his frustration subside, clenching and unclenching his fingers.

 Somewhere along the line, he heard the rustle of sheets behind him and then Jinyoung’s bare feet were thumping across the floor, moving about. Jaebum listened, awaited to be approached, but then the door of the bathroom clicked shut and he realized there’s where the other had gone to. Guess he wouldn’t be getting a lovely massage to unknot the tension points on his shoulder tonight.

 Jinyoung didn’t take long in there (definitely longer than for a quick pee, but whatever), however, when the door creaked open again and he gingerly stepped outside, Jaebum was already focused and back to business. The lump of sticky sedimentary material was soft and pliant in his cupping hands as he molded it into some semblance of a body, digging thumbs in the right corners and rolling it in his oil coated palms.

 Light footsteps resonated around the room as they shuffled across the hardwood flooring. They came closer, closer, and then they stopped. Jaebum molded the clay sketch for one more moment before glancing up at Jinyoung’s silence. The sight he got then felt like a punch to the stomach.

 There, in the middle of where he considered his living room, was Jinyoung; gloriously naked, chewing on his lips, and furrowing his brow slightly. On his grasp (of bent arm over his belly), there was the dark-red sheets Jaebum remembered being his bed’s cover, and they cascaded down his front hiding just the bare minimum of his most private area until half of the cloth pooled by his bare feet.

 The light was on, but given the originally dim nature of the lightbulbs and lampshades that littered the walls, Jinyoung’s lean body was kissed by shadows, every muscle of his torso flowing from the light and into the dark. His chiseled chest and healthily glowing skin were perfectly noticeable though, just like those strong biceps and overall solid built that would give away his virility in every move.

 Jinyoung was a living work of art, the sharp lines that drew his muscles all clean and long and fascinating. Everything in him seemed to be sculptured to perfection, tempting to touch. The charm of that graceful physique stole Jaebum’s breath away.

 There was this stillness in the air for a moment that seemed to stretch infinitely, seasoned with anticipation and something deeper that Jaebum couldn’t possibly put into words, but that left the fine hair on his arms and back of neck standing on end. It’s so intense that nobody dared to move just yet.

 Their eyes locked from across the coffee table--where the heap of malleable clay stood along with his many tools--and sparkles were shared between them, sending electricity to course wildly through their respective bodies. Jaebum licked his lips wet, gulped around the lump in his throat. Jinyoung’s fingers twitched around the dark-red cloth precariously covering his lower half, knuckles turned white. They breathed.

 It took Jaebum a while to realize that the amount of clay in his hands had dissolved into a pile of unknowable nothing--what with the constant nervous squeeze he’s been doing around it ever since Jinyoung stole his attention away--and it had hardened a little to the touch. Many things had gotten _hard_ in the meanwhile.

“You said you could use a reference.” Jinyoung whispered eventually, answering the question Jaebum didn’t ask. Glancing down at himself, he chewed on his plush lips a little more. “I know I don’t have the body of what they like to associate with Greek mythology and Greek gods, but. I can help with getting the angle right.”

 It’s embarrassing, how much time it took for Jaebum’s brain to stop malfunctioning and actually put one and one together. Blinking out of his stun and wonderstruck amazement, he allowed the gears in his head to kick into motion again, and it’s only after almost one entire minute that he realized how Jinyoung was nude posing for him in tries to help him with his final project.

 Jaebum must’ve been really pitiful during his fruitless attempts to mold the clay into the right form and angle then. And he knew he felt so frustrated he’d have started to throw things on the walls if it weren’t for Jinyoung’s presence in there. His patience and sanity were running thin by the time Jinyoung decided to spring into action and try making something to help him, that’s for sure.

 And for Jinyoung to pick up on his misery right away, and do whatever he could to help… Jaebum was luckier than he’s ever thought. He didn’t deserve the guy’s everlasting want to help and please him, he honestly didn’t. But oh, he was so moved and grateful for it.

 Jaebum could never repay all that goodness and kindness Jinyoung poured over him so selflessly, but he was more than fine with the thought of spending the rest of his days trying to fill him with love in exchange.

 Slowly nodding his head as if his body was still relearning how to work properly, Jaebum stammered, “S-Sure.” And then, shifting on his stool painfully aware of the semi he’s sporting just at the sight of Jinyoung standing before him, he cleared his throat and added, “Sure, that… uh, that’d be very… helpful.”

 There must’ve been something in Jaebum’s expression then, or even in the shaky timbre of his voice, but whatever it might be, it shooed half of the hesitance that has been lingering in Jinyoung’s posture ever since he exited the bathroom. As if he’d given Jinyoung the approval he needed to feel like he’s doing the right thing.

 And the small smirk that started to quirk up the corners of those bitten-red lips now, that was the confirmation Jaebum needed to know Jinyoung would be the death of him someday. _If that’s the case_ , Jaebum thought drunkenly, _I wouldn’t mind dying many, many deaths in those perfect hands_.

 Jinyoung shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the sheets squeezed between his fingers slipping just a little lower over his glowing body. Tilting his head in that way Jaebum’s seen him do many times before, he drawled, “Then, how do you want me?”

 The pressure in his pants became duller, making them feel _tighter_. “How do I… want…”

 The guy had the nerve to chuckle, hoarsely and slight out of breath. Jaebum had to squirm in his seat again. “How do you want me _to pose_ , Jaebum.”

“Ah, of course, to pose, yes.” Jaebum raked shaking fingers through his hair, barely acknowledging that it’s still slight damp from the shower, and that his hands were still dirty with drying clay, before letting the hand to rest by his nape as he tried to organize his thoughts.

 The pose he’s been trying to recreate was the one from _‘The Fall of Icarus’_ by Slodtz. A man lying on his back--more precisely, on top of his homemade wings--awkwardly sprawled over an angled rock in the middle of the sea, with one hand outstretched and the other holding a piece of cloth against his hipbone. Essentially, it’s the hell of a hard artwork to be inspired on, much less recreate exactly. Maybe that’s why Jaebum’s been struggling with it for over months now.

 Jaebum looked around his apartment, trying to work with what he had. The best places to do it would be either the bed or the floor, considering the whole setting of the Slodtz piece, but even so, the angle wouldn’t be right.

 The downward slope of that rock would be hard to achieve even if Jinyoung were to be lying down with a pillow placed underneath and against his lower back. And to stay in that position for so many hours with all the blood in his body going to his head (given the inclination of it), that would be just too painful for Jinyoung. That wouldn’t do.

 The best option Jaebum had under the circumstances was to make his work only inspired on that famous piece instead of fully based on it, betting on a few angle changes here and there, and working on further needed adjustments whenever they posed necessary. With luck, the result wouldn’t be so unsatisfactory as the last ones that way.

 Decided on taking up on that new idea, Jaebum turned his attention back to Jinyoung. “On the bed.” He instructed, holding the heated gaze Jinyoung flashed him for a brief moment before nodding and doing as he was told. Jaebum tried to be inconspicuous while stealing glances of what he could see of Jinyoung’s round, soft-looking butt as he moved. Now, that was a drool-worthy butt.

 He waited until Jinyoung was distracted enough with climbing onto the bed before darting across the small living room to pick up more packages of clay, coming right back to the middle of the room just as soon. When he placed the material on the coffee table and chanced another look at the other, Jinyoung was trying to hide his smile behind the pillow he casually moved about.

 Jaebum pushed the coffee table closer to the bed, searching for the first angle he’d be using to capture Jinyoung’s pose, and once he’s satisfied with it, he pulled his stool along as well. Next, he went for Jinyoung.

 Jinyoung was kneeling on the mattress, sitting back on his heels, with the dark-red sheets covering his waist down. He looked up expectantly when Jaebum stepped closer. “Are you taking on that ‘The Fall of Icarus’ pose?”

“It’ll be inspired on that, yes, but a little bit different. It’d be quite hard to recreate that exactly give our resources.”

“Yeah.” Jinyoung turned around to face Jaebum. “What do you have in mind, then?”

 Jaebum grinded his teeth as trying his best to be professional and objective while ordering Jinyoung around, putting him right where he wanted him. It took them almost ten minutes to achieve the pose Jaebum wanted--what with Jinyoung playing around and wiggling out of place just to tease Jaebum (and Jaebum knew better than to slap him reprehensively in those circumstances)--but, when they finally got it right, Jaebum focused on admiring it.

 It didn’t look very similar, but it’s undeniable how much of the original piece it resembled. Jinyoung was lying partially on his back and on his side, on top of the beautifully contrasting wine sheets, with one arm outstretched to the edge of the mattress and the other bent by his waist, snaking around his twisted torso and putting a very pretty hand in main frame, the hem of the sheets having slipped out of his grasp but still caressing the side of his body while covering his front. His legs were on top of the other, both slight bent, with the right one hiking up higher the mattress. Jinyoung’s butt was on full display, the curve of it sinuous and sinful from where Jaebum was looking, and so did the heavy arch of his lower back.

 It’s such a sensual pose, but it matched Icarus so perfectly it almost brought overwhelming tears to Jaebum’s eyes. That was the most wonderful reference to another artwork he’s ever done, all those small but sure details that linked the two works and complimented each other. The intertextuality of them was so delicate and heavy at the same time; it carried the most honest and pure meaning of art.

 Entranced by the glorious result he’s achieved and immersed in the many emotions that swum inside his chest then, Jaebum didn’t realize he’s moved until Jinyoung was breathing sharply and shuddering underneath his fingertips.

 Blinking, Jaebum brought his attention back to the reality, and he gasped when noticing how somehow his hand had found the way to the curve of Jinyoung’s ass. His eyes flickered to Jinyoung’s then, trying to gauge more of his reaction, and the look he saw glistening in those beautiful dark-brown irises was one of challenge. Daring, Jaebum squeezed, fingers almost featherlight as they settled in the valley between the cheeks.

 Jinyoung keened, and his eyelids fluttered while his mouth dropped just the slightest open. Jaebum felt his dick twitching heavily, _pleading_ , a keen sound bubbling in his throat as well, and then he used all his strength to pull away. He needed to come to terms with his final project first, he should keep that pose.

 The rush of blood in his ears was nearly deafening by the time he stepped back, and his chest heaved under the burning gaze Jinyoung was dedicating him now. The guy knew they should be focusing on the art, too. Even though air seemed to cackle around them, charged with sparks of electricity, and it became each second harder to hold back.

 They looked at each other for uncountable moments before Jaebum pursed his lips and nodded his resolve, walking back to the coffee table. “Let’s begin.”

 

 -----

 

Notes:

here are some refs so y'all can picture the ambient and the pose jinyoung will be in for their nude posing better:

 

1\. Paul-Ambrose Slodtz - The Fall of Icarus (1741) [here](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/11/a9/f1/11a9f1f1aa7428ca8600bbdbed0ac2ea.jpg)

2\. Jinyoung's pose for Jaebum's sculpture based on Slodtz's work [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g2eHtaL0PKvqEtM9CG7XkyaPD0_2aVAC/view)

3\. Jaebum's apartment [here](http://cdn30.us1.fansshare.com/image/loftapartment/art-studio-loft-apartment-ideas-inspiration-on-industrial-loft-by-denisvema-digital-art-dimensional-art-scenes-apartment-design-bebcea-fe-image-tumblr-77832164.jpg)


	6. Intimacy II

 

 They worked on the clay sketch of Jaebum’s final project for the rest of the week. Considering how they had classes and other things on as well, they’d only meet and get down to business on their days off, with the most significant advance being expected to be done during the weekend. In a rough summary, they’d be working on that for nearly 54 hours and finishing up on Sunday morning, assuming that everything went accordingly to the plan.

 By Saturday, Jaebum was positive they’d be meeting the schedule, and the muscles in his body sang in relief. It’s been a tough week. And spending that much time staring at Jinyoung’s nudity without touching, that’s a main stress point and living hell.

 It’d have been easier if it weren’t for the jerk taking up every opportunity to mess with Jaebum and push him to the edge, stretching on the bed and wiggling his toes lazily as if he’s sleepy, making sure to give Jaebum the best view of his naked ass while on it.

 Jaebum would often pretend he wasn’t seeing it, fumbling with his tools or applying more oil to the clay just for the sake of being busy, but the sight would still get burned behind his eyelids and aid him to completion whenever he had some time alone in the shower.

 And there were also those times when Jinyoung would feel especially mischievous and start to play with Jaebum’s camera after being certain that he’s distracted enough with preparing the marble stone that would be carved out later. That happened twice in the span of that week.

 The photos would consist of many parts of his body cast in low lighting--feet, bent knees, slight parted thighs, flexing abs, collarbones and neck--but just one of his face. On it, the focus was on his pouty lips and how the pad of his thumb pressed over the valley between them, but his face and hints of his body were also captured on frame. The look Jinyoung was dedicating to the camera was just sinful, and he’s twisted into the position Jaebum has decided for the sculpture, lying partially on his side in an angle where the swell of his ass would look absolutely lovely.

 Jaebum would only notice the new photos sitting in the camera’s memory card much after Jinyoung’s taken them though, too unsuspecting of it to be checking it out earlier. Either way, the reaction they pulled out of him then was as intense as it’d have been if he’d seen them before, and Jaebum would curse Jinyoung in his head for the rest of the night.

 Those photos would milk the best orgasms out of him anyway, entire body shaking and spasming as scalding hot water washed over the remnants spills from the tiles. It wasn’t his place to complain.

 It’s late morning when Jaebum moved the sculpture to the centre of the room for what he hoped to be the final touches. His materials were spread over the coffee table, clean and ready to be used. The thought of finally getting that part of his project done rose goosebumps on his skin. He still had the marble piece to work on next, where he’d be spending way more time than before (maybe even a month), but that’s more than he’s done for the entire past year, so he’s glad.

 Jinyoung walked back from the kitchen with a plate filled with green grapes, already munching on a few while humming that soft tune Jaebum didn’t recognize, his bare feet thudding mutely against the hardwood floor. He offered them to Jaebum, stopping by his side and stretching the plate in his direction. Jaebum took a handful, plummeting half of it into his mouth and then refilling his hand when Jinyoung offered him more.

 As Jinyoung walked around him and started making his way to the bed, Jaebum subtly ogled at the man’s beautifully built body, taking in the soft curves and sharp edges and strong muscles. After seeing it almost on the daily, Jaebum was surprised that the sight still took his breath away all the same.

 Throughout the week--and after stripping for the reference posing so many times already--Jinyoung wasn’t as conscious of his nudity as he’s before, now having no problem in walking freely and comfortably around the apartment with no clothes on. It’s intimate in a way that surpassed the carnal want of seeing another person naked; it wormed inside and touched deeper, deeper and deeper. It went beyond words.

 Jaebum felt his throat closing at how much trust Jinyoung had in him to show so much of himself. Not just his body, but entire soul. That’s so domestic, private, and so achingly personal. It left his heart hammering inside his chest, thundering with feeling.

 Jinyoung put the plate on the mattress and sprawled across the sheets, belly down. Slivers of light peeped through the drawn blinds that shielded the large window behind the bed, casting thin golden stripes across the back of Jinyoung’s stunningly shaped legs. His shoulders, round and protruding, shrunk slightly as he propped himself up on elbows, and the muscles of his arms bulged deliciously.

 Tousled hair created a cute mane around his head, wild and soft-looking, parted sideways and sticking out in heavy waves on the opposite direction. It looked pretty much like bed hair, and Jaebum hated how much he _loved_ it on Jinyoung.

“I’ve been thinking,” Jinyoung broke the silence, swinging his legs behind himself. The repetitive movement made each of his asscheeks bulge along with it, thigh muscles pressing against the curve. Jaebum felt spikes of heat thrumming low in his stomach, but didn’t comment on it, simply humming to show he’s listening. “About that art exhibition, are you really intending on participating?”

 Jaebum walked over, passing the bed to adjust the blinds and let in a little more light. “Mmm. I don’t know, but I wanted to. I don’t have much pieces to put on display, and none too good for the matter. You?”

“I guess I will, yes. We don’t have anything to lose, right?” Jinyoung looked at him from over one shoulder. “Besides, the ones we don’t like can be the ones someone else does, and vice-versa. If we put a part of us in that, if we left our mark in some way… well, I think we should show it to the world. Critics will be a constant either way.”

“That’s true.” He conceded, admiring the way new rays of brightness beamed through the blinds to present the warm glow of sunlight against Jinyoung’s physique like sweet honey. That’s such a mesmerizing view he couldn’t help but touch.

 Jinyoung nearly purred when worshipping fingers skirted across his blushing skin while Jaebum made his way back to the coffee table. Smiling lazily, he turned back around to pick another ripe grape from the plate. “It is, isn’t it?”

 Jaebum gave the idea another thought while crouching down beside the clay sculpture of Jinyoung he was about to finish. He actually wanted to participate in that art exhibition, very much. But insecurity was suddenly having the best over him, and nothing he’s ever produced and created seemed enough to be put on display now. They’re all too shallow, too lacking and void of any charm.

 Jaebum wanted to show the world something worthy, something he prided himself in the most. It should contain a part of his soul; reflect his hard work and undying passion on it. The work he’d be exhibiting should tell his story somehow, if not for the others, at least to himself. And the regular sculptures and paintings he kept in his Secret Room just ain’t it.

 The piece he’s been working on, though, that was a nice composition. He’s managed to capture every curve and line of Jinyoung’s body with devoted precision, and even thought the inspiration for it had come from another piece, this one just had so much of him in it--so much of his story and the time he spent with Jinyoung--that it seemed like the idea had come from the depts of his mind alone.

 It was so personal; Jaebum loved every detail of it. That was the perfect example of the kind of art he wanted to show to the world and get recognized by. A piece that contained nothing more than his utmost drive and passion.

 And it’s with this thought in mind that Jaebum blurted, not really meaning for anyone besides himself to listen, “I should display this one during the art exhibition.”

 But Jinyoung did listen, and he perked up at that. “Display me?” The look on his dark colored eyes was so bright and full of feeling that Jaebum found it hard to hold in an amused smile.

 There’s a lot of amusement and teasing in there too, so Jaebum decided to make him play hard to get. Smacking his lips softly as if in a scold, he corrected. “It’s not you, it’s Icarus.”

 Jinyoung raised one eyebrow, making a show of craning his neck exaggeratedly to see the clay sculpture between them on the floor. It’s already perfectly visible from his spot on the bed. Pointing one finger at it, he exclaimed indignantly, “Well, it surely is my butt in there!”

 Jaebum barked a laugh but still stuck out his tongue, refusing to back down. “There’s no way people will know that, though.”

“You seem so sure of it.” Jinyoung shook his head, pressing the grape he still had between his fingers right against the plushness of his bottom lip. His upper teeth grazed on the sweet surface until it started to dribble juice, licking around it and finally pushing it into his mouth. He looked beyond pleased when noticing the effect it had on Jaebum’s sweatpants, wiggling his thick eyebrows and then flopping down on the mattress with a grin.

 Jaebum felt like throwing a chisel on him for being such an annoying tease, but he’d need it later to mold the marble stone, so it’d be better if he didn’t end up breaking it on Jinyoung’s thick skull.

 Jinyoung twisted his lean body into the position they’ve been studying for the past week, back pressing against the sheets and butt sticking to the side. In the first few times they had to keep it for hours, the guy had complained and whined about having cramps from the weird angle and they’d make breaks pretty often just so he could recover, but now, it already felt comfortable enough to even fall asleep while on it.

 They were silent for a while, but then Jinyoung was tipping his head back and looking at Jaebum upside-down. “Are you really thinking about displaying this one there?”

“I am.” Jaebum answered honestly, already slicking up the patch of clay where he’d be working on just so he could start making the finishing touches on the sketch, sliding the corresponding tools where it needed to be smoothed out or enhanced. “I like how it’s so far, and I’m sure the finished piece will be even cleaner, better.”

“I’m happy you liked it that much, then.” Those lovely whiskers appeared by the corners of Jinyoung’s eyes when he smiled toothlessly. Jaebum loved them so much, it’s been a challenge not to include them on his final project. Maybe in another piece.

 Lovestruck with everything that was Jinyoung, Jaebum couldn’t resist walking back to the bed and hovering above the other while confessing in a hushed murmur. “I liked it because it’s you.”

 At this, Jinyoung fell silent. He was looking up, eyes wide and mouth slight agape, face blushing slowly as words suddenly failed him. And just like that, they’re having another of those moments where they’d convey their deepest feelings only thought their gazes, no words needed.

 Jaebum, who’s been grinning until then, felt it slip from his face as the air shifted around them, charged and heavy with emotion. He’s so sure his heart could burst at any given second that he leaned in to press a small, barely there peck over those impossibly addicting lips; one last gesture before the world crumbled beneath his feet. And it did, one second later, when Jinyoung instantly melted against him and chased after his mouth to kiss it back firmer.

 The promises that that kiss held scared Jaebum, since they’re so strong and real and different from everything he’s ever experienced before, but they made his blood thrum with happiness. Having Jinyoung so close and so connected to him ignited the most wonderful feelings in his chest, and Jaebum loved it.

 Exhaling through his nose, he cracked his eyes open and admired Jinyoung’s long eyelashes fanning out against the curve of those soft cheeks until his vision blurred heavily from the proximity and he closed them again with a sigh.

 They pulled apart with shaky, shallow breaths being exchanged between the narrow space between their mouths, and Jinyoung chuckled hoarsely before forcing his eyes open to stare at Jaebum. They shone beautifully when Jaebum did the same. “I thought it’s Icarus, though?” He jabbed, ironically, but still raised one hand to caress Jaebum’s cheek with such affection that Jaebum squirmed briefly.

“Icarus doesn’t have that ass.” Jaebum bit back next, suddenly slapping Jinyoung’s right asscheek to make his point. Jinyoung yelped, expression lighting up despite the pout he tried so hard to make, and playfully shoved Jaebum away. Jaebum smirked, but did lean back and walk away towards his sculpture one more time.

 Jinyoung watched him go, shifting and falling back into position eventually. Jaebum started to include the last details on the sketch. Somewhere along the line, he paused to put some ambient music on as they had to stand there for way too much time, and Jinyoung huffed a mocking laugh when soft jazz streamed from his phone’s speakers.

 Jaebum paid him no mind and just went back to work while humming along the tune. Since all it needed then were a few additional brushes of a ribbon tool--basically some shaping, trimming and hollowing--, the first half of Jaebum’s final project got finally ready in the next two hours.

 Thrilled and slight drunk on the feeling of finishing that work, he sat on the floor and admired it for who-knows-how-long with teary eyes. It was just so beautiful, even in clay still. Pride swelled in his chest, exhilarating and well-deserved.

 Everything was on point, from Jinyoung’s body to the sheets underneath, and the angle was absolutely right this time around. Jaebum had put extra care in making the sculpture’s face as different from Jinyoung’s as possible, refraining himself from even making its hair quite as long, so it wasn’t really obvious that he has used the guy as his main reference. He could exhibit it without any problem.

 Jaebum stood up just so he could call Jinyoung to come and see the finished work, but after one glance to the bed, he noticed that the other had fallen asleep somewhere along the line and was snoring softly in there. Smiling, Jaebum walked closer and covered his body with part of the sheets, blanketing him in. Jinyoung had worked hard, too.

 The part he liked less about creating was the absolute mess that his apartment would become as soon as he’s done with it. The place looked like a warzone; dried clay littering the floor with some fresh pools of mud here and there, and dirty tools either spread or piling around the place he’s decided to work. Cleaning was definitely the last appealing step.

 However, it still had to be done, so Jaebum begrudgingly went to the bathroom and retrieved the cleaning products he kept on the cabinet along with some dry cloths from there and marched back to the main room. Looking down at Jinyoung’s sleeping form again, though, his resolve started to crumble.

 Suddenly, all those hours he forced himself to focus on his project wearied down on him, and his muscles became heavier and more exhausted with each passing second. When Jinyoung snuffled and turned around to burrow his face deeper into the sheets, Jaebum felt the last ounce of willpower leaving his body.

 Deciding that he could very well leave the cleaning for later, Jaebum placed everything he’s carrying down by the bedside and carefully climbed onto the mattress. Jinyoung barely stirred when it dipped under the additional weight. Jaebum slowly shuffled closer.

 It’s admirable, how Jaebum disregarded the mess he was making on the sheets with his clay dirtied clothes, but at that moment, all that his shutting down brain could think about was how much it wanted to make his limbs curl against Jinyoung and slip into dreamland too.

 And after way less resistance than he’d like to admit, that’s exactly what Jaebum did. Sleep hadn’t ever come so easily and comfortably before.

 

 When his brain could finally shed some of the sleep it nagged his body needed, Jaebum stirred awake. The soft jazz that has been playing on his phone for the past few hours was nowhere to be heard now. In his still half-awake state, he assumed that his phone battery died somewhere along the line.

 It didn’t seem as important now anyway. The extremely cozy spot he’s found on the bed, on the other hand, did. Jaebum basked in the warmth that seeped from the spot underneath him, nuzzling into his pillow.

 Just that the comfy thing he rubbed his face on wasn’t a pillow. And it chuckled when he tried to do it again like a lazy, stubborn cat. Jaebum whined, but did end up cracking his eyes open after a moment. The first thing he saw was a patch of rosy skin, rising and falling rhythmically, and he frowned. It took him another moment to have the idea of craning his neck and tip his head back to look further up.

 Jinyoung was watching him with so much affection when their gazes finally met that it startled Jaebum a little bit more awake. The comfy pillow he’d nuzzled moments ago actually was Jinyoung’s bare chest, and it took a while for Jaebum to realize how his head was resting on it while a strong arm snaked around his shoulder to keep him in place, protectively. If he listened closely, he could hear Jinyoung’s heartbeat thudding softly under his ear.

 Jaebum shifted, noticing how he’s still curled on Jinyoung’s side and his own arm was draped across the guy’s middle from over the sheets, but when he made to disentangle himself from the cuddle and stand up, Jinyoung did a small sound of protest in his throat and held him even tighter, turning around slightly just so he could envelop Jaebum with his other arm as well.

“Stay.” Jaebum felt the rumble of Jinyoung’s deep voice more than he heard it, and he was amused at how his body went completely pliant in an instant at the command. It’s like he’s so susceptive to Jinyoung now that even his subconscious would react to him before his conscious mind would.

 Jaebum couldn’t help frowning at that, soon enough trying to hide the unbidden blush of his cheeks on the crook of Jinyoung’s neck. But then, the thought that Jinyoung had said that pretty much like a command occurred him, and he leaned back just this much to grumble against the curve of a chin. “I’m not a dog, Jinyoung.”

 Jinyoung hummed, and one of his hands went up to palm over the back of Jaebum’s head, patting it twice before applying just enough pressure to make him lean back in again. Jaebum didn’t put up a resistance. “You’re not.” The man agreed, thoughtfully. “You’re more like a cat, if I were to choose.”

 Jaebum liked to be compared to a cat so he didn’t complain, but when he started to give butterfly kisses along the side of Jinyoung’s neck as far as his position allowed, it’s Jinyoung who seemed to purr contently. And when Jaebum playfully grazed his teeth over the sensitive spot where neck meets shoulder with just the right pressure, Jinyoung shuddered meekly.

 Teasingly, Jaebum stopped the ministrations altogether when noticing that Jinyoung was starting to enjoy them way too much, limiting himself to simply breathe against the now slight wet skin in anticipation. He wanted to see what kind of reaction he’d pull out of Jinyoung with that, and then got giddily pleased when it came in the form of the other whining and tipping his head back, baring his neck in a silent demand. Jinyoung’s reactions were indeed the cutest.

 Jaebum relished the throaty noises that would escape Jinyoung as he once again leaned in to press worshipping kisses across his skin, nosing his way down the side of his neck. He nipped at the prominent curve of Jinyoung’s adam’s apple at the same time his hand traveled up Jinyoung’s taunt waist. Jinyoung gasped.

 Spurred on by the breathless sigh that left Jinyoung’s thick lips when his deft fingers reached the hem of the sheets and slowly peeled them off that chiseled torso, Jaebum became more daring, moving about until he was swinging one leg over Jinyoung’s hips and straddling him on top of where he bunched the sheets by those meaty thighs.

 Dusk colored the sky outside, lovely dark-salmon and a glow of white from the streetlight seeping inside the room through both windows--bathing the floor and casting striped shadows over the bed. Jinyoung’s breathing was unsteady, chest heaving and muscles straining with each intake of breath as he looked up at Jaebum with hooded eyes. He raked long fingers across his mussed hair, closing them into a loose fist by the very end of the raven-black strands. The defined muscles of his arm bulged with the movement, flexing, and Jaebum freaking _whined_ at the view. His traitorous mouth watered, too.

 Jinyoung smirked, pleased, but it lasted only this much as Jaebum hungrily dived in for a searing kiss, making it feel as scolding and punishing as he could. It ended up feeling passionate while hinging on the edge of desperation, though. Jaebum found it hard to care all that much at the moment.

 Hands roamed as they kissed. Jinyoung’s adventured under Jaebum’s shirt to run curious palms up and down his sinewy back, feeling each bump of his vertebrae and shift of his back muscles underneath his fingertips. Jaebum’s gripped, squeezed, caressed every part he could reach, straying each second lower and further south.

 Supporting his body up on one bent arm as he kneeled above Jinyoung, Jaebum shimmied the other between them until his hand was pressing firmly over the length of Jinyoung’s dick, fingers brushing against the balls and inside of wrist making the foreskin slid back just enough to make the rosy head peak out.

 The stimulation coaxed a sharp inhale out of Jinyoung, mouth going slack and brow furrowing with the almost painful rush of desire, and Jaebum took the opportunity to stick his eager tongue inside and prompt Jinyoung’s to answer in kind, swallowing even the tiniest of the moans that reverberated through their connected lips.

  Jaebum worked Jinyoung up for a while, leaving open-mouthed kisses down his collarbones when neither of them could keep up with the hard task of maintaining their liplock without letting out a string of keen noises every 3 seconds. Rubbing, stroking and twisting his wrist into the right angle, he watched as Jinyoung blossomed with pleasure before him.

 When Jinyoung groaned and started to tug impatiently at his shirt while still trying to buck up into his hand, Jaebum chuckled hoarsely and leaned away in favor of pulling the offending garment over his head. Once it’s off, he threw it somewhere by their side on the bed, and he could hear the clunk of the plate with grapes falling off the mattress, so he must’ve hit it somehow, but that didn’t have much importance. It’s made of aluminum, after all. It didn’t break.

 Before Jaebum swept right back in to pick up where they left off, though, Jinyoung stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Wait.” He panted, voice as wrecked as the wild look in his eyes. Jaebum swallowed, tried to control his breathing, but there’s still a confused frown wrinkling his slight sweaty forehead. Jinyoung licked his swollen lips, making them gleam red. “Let me… let me see you.”

 Jaebum remained on his knees, sitting on top of Jinyoung’s thighs while cocking his head to the side, amused. The late afternoon splendor complimented Jaebum’s skin as he puffed his chest just this tiny bit much, back straightening and arching under the lustful, appreciative gaze the other was regarding him with then. Jinyoung looked at him as if he wanted to wreck him, to _devour_ every part of his body and leave him wonderfully sated, and the thought got Jaebum straining impossibly hard in his pants.

 Jaebum felt Jinyoung’s touch moving along his collarbone and pressing in the middle of his chest, fingers curling until blunt nails started to scrape skin, only then going down provocatively slow to leave wicked shivers in their wake. Jaebum bit on his lip so hard he was afraid he’d draw blood.

 Jinyoung’s breath hitched, and he let his fingertips rest by the waistband of Jaebum’s sweats. He didn’t make to hook his fingers in, slip them inside, or anything in that aspect; they just remained there. A reminder of sorts.

 Jaebum chose that very moment to gently rock against Jinyoung, languidly and stutteringly from the excitement that threatened to make him insane, and it sent arousal coursing both their bodies like a shockwave when his clothed bottom dragged along Jinyoung’s balls, and his front pressed against Jinyoung’s hand. The feeling was just shy of too much.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jinyoung breathed, dilated pupils roaming over Jaebum’s physique with unconcealed reverence and praise. He reached up, cradling Jaebum’s jaw and pulling him down so delicately his heart skipped a beat. When they kissed again, it’s with so much emotion, so much feeling, it’s hard not to want to live in that moment forever.

 Jaebum was so entranced by the fiery battle their tongues were waging that when he felt a sudden tweak on one of his nipples, the pleasure that spiked through him was so intense and unexpected that he nearly jumped out of the bed in a knee-jerk reaction. The raw moan that rippled through him when the action was repeated may have had the same effect on Jinyoung, though, because he could feel his girth poking at his belly insistently when Jinyoung bucked up with a groan. They both panted, foreheads pressing together as they tried to regain some semblance of control.

 Opening his glazed eyes and looking down at himself--at them, together--was the fuel that the fire inside him needed, and Jaebum let out another throaty moan when the sight of Jinyoung’s glistening, flushed dick sought friction against the obvious bulge still contained in his sweatpants. Jaebum has never reached down to fumble with his pants until he managed to pull it past the swell of his butt as fast as he did then. And the sight of both their erections leaking and rubbing together--that was better than anything else.

“Fuck,” Jinyoung hissed, grabbed one of Jaebum’s asscheeks and squeezed it _hard_ , fingers reflexively digging into the supple flesh of where butt meets thigh. Jaebum grinded down on Jinyoung with more intent, and Jinyoung retaliated by slipping one finger between those cheeks.

 Jaebum answered to that with a curse of his own, trying to muffle the needy sounds that kept spilling from his mouth by biting down on Jinyoung’s protruding shoulder. The indents of his teeth remained on the skin even after he moved on to sucking a hickey to the base of Jinyoung’s neck, drool making it glint in the low light.

“Touch me.” Jaebum pleaded as he descended to lick at Jinyoung’s nipple, earning a shuddery gasp in return. His leaking head grazed along the underside of Jinyoung’s dick, leaving a slick trace behind. Jaebum thrusted up shallowly as an incentive. It felt so wet down there.

“Here?” With his breath catching in his throat, Jinyoung applied just the right amount of pressure onto Jaebum’s entrance to make him squirm and whine a little louder--not enough to breach past the rim, but definitely enough to make stars start to shine behind his eyelids.

“I wasn’t meaning it there,” Jaebum realized only then that he’s shaking, the amount of slick produced by their hard-ons making the slide oh so much easier, and suddenly his entire body felt like it’s a string pulled too tight, right at the verge of snapping. He picked up the pace, unknowingly. “B-But it’s okay, too.”

 Jaebum was aware of how he’s almost tipping over the edge, but he wanted to cross it with Jinyoung, take him with him and not just meet him there. Therefore, he leaned away from where he’s sucking bruises into his chest and locked their half-lidded, delirious with desire gazes. Taking both their dicks into his hand and hissing at how wonderful it felt, he started to stroke them both to completion.

 Jinyoung continued to tease at his rim as they stared deep into each other’s eyes, eyelashes fluttering every time it’s too much and not enough. They kept the rhythm for a few more moments until Jaebum was hiccupping in ecstasy, shutting his eyes and letting his head hang as his hand worked faster, making Jinyoung moan and his whole body to convulse along with his.

 It doesn’t take long for them both to come together while arching into one another’s touch from there, gasping each other’s names feverishly while losing the ground under their feet. It’s indescribable, the sensation of being completely sated and overwhelmed by the musk that flooded both their senses as they tried to breath again. Jaebum’s never had such a strong orgasm from only a dry-humping before. It felt fucking otherworldly.

 When Jaebum felt his mind clear enough to enable him to think past the cloud of lust and horniness, he realized how Jinyoung’s hands were still working their way around his body, this time feeling each crevasse and line along the muscles of his back, holding him close and almost cradling him to his chest.

 It’s a soothing gesture, and it felt so absurdly intimate that Jaebum felt like crying. On a whim, he disregarded the mess on their stomachs and just lied down fully to fit his body against Jinyoung’s sturdy one, and one more time nuzzled into that neck while hugging him impossibly hard. His heart thumped inside his chest, so intensely and full of feeling that it’s hard to ignore the motive behind it. Not that Jaebum wanted to ignore it--at least not anymore. He wanted Jinyoung to hear it, to feel it; to reciprocate.

 And as he listened to Jinyoung’s quickly beating heart thundering right off his pulse point, Jaebum dared to think that Jinyoung did. He heard it. Felt it. Reciprocated it.

 Jaebum smiled against the sweaty skin and gave it a small peck that got a tired giggle bubbling out through Jinyoung’s chest. At that moment, while they came down from their highs, the thought Jaebum’s been having for the past year was back to the front of his mind, and right then, he’d no doubts about it anymore.

 It indeed was all about Jinyoung. And only him.

 

 The thing about intimacy is that, once you share it with someone, it’s hard to stop doing so. It gets comfortable too easily, quickly; it becomes safe. It didn’t take much for Jaebum to realize it, nor did it for him to feel perfectly fine with it.

 After they showered and Jaebum has cleaned the clay mess on the floor, he started to work on the marble piece almost right away. Suddenly, it didn’t matter if he were wearing only a pair of basketball shorts and his Bart Simpson sleepshirt in Jinyoung’s presence. It felt right even so.

 Jinyoung would watch him work, wearing one of Jaebum’s briefs and _thrasher_ shirts. He’d give tips and assist him in whatever he could, and Jaebum felt grateful for that, because, as he soon discovered, they actually made a great team together.

 But it still didn’t make the process of crafting the stone all that much easier.

 Projecting the clay sketch into the rectangular piece of marble was difficult--he had to measure each part, transport it to the cold stone by penciling it accordingly, and then proceed to make them fit into the right scale. And just like pottery, that has never been Jaebum’s forte. At least two portions of the stone were lost on that. He was starting to grow restless.

 Sensing the big wave of frustration that oozed out of Jaebum like hot lava, Jinyoung decided to act on that and approached him from behind. Jaebum was tense when strong arms snaked around his middle, but the warmness of that action alone was enough to make him relax a little bit. He sighed, the sound a mix of tiredness and despair, and held the bevel chisel just this much looser.

“You shouldn’t force it.” Jinyoung whispered against his nape, softly, sounding like he’s speaking to a spooked and potentially dangerous animal that just wanted to feel safe again. Jaebum supposed that’s right. He felt pretty much like that, too.

 Allowing Jinyoung to rock them from side to side, he basked in the moment. It felt so good just to be held close like that. It’s something he hadn’t got to experience in so long, he enjoyed it for another minute before asking back, “Force what?” He pretty much knew what Jinyoung had meant, but he wanted to hear that soft voice a bit more.

 Lucky him, Jinyoung didn’t have a problem with explaining himself further. “If you keep trying to craft it with this much frustration and tenseness, you’ll only keep losing stone. It has to be gentle.” Jinyoung placed a light peck against the curve of his neck and relished in the small sigh that left Jaebum’s mouth at the gesture.

 Jaebum looked down at yet another ruined piece of marble and pouted. He essentially knew that it had to be gentle, that he’d to approach it with delicacy and patience, but. It wasn’t all that easy when he’s so unused to following the entire process instead of just jumping to the freestyle mode he tended to do.

 Leaning down and to the side just so he could put the chisel on the coffee table without losing the placating embrace Jinyoung still had around him, he lamented, “I’m trying, but it just- I don’t really make all this stuff, y’know? I just go for it. Having to follow guidelines feels so foreign it blocks something in me.”

“I understand.” It’s what Jinyoung answered before turning him around when Jaebum snorted in response. The look in Jaebum’s eyes was skeptical and sarcastic when Jinyoung’s met them. It’s Jinyoung’s time to pout. “I honestly do. It feels like that when I paint.”

 Jaebum frowned. “You don’t do sketches for your paintings? Like, at all?” Jinyoung hummed negatively, and Jaebum couldn’t hold in the grimace that instantly rose to contort his features.

 Ever since they started on college together, he remembered Jinyoung’s paintings to be the most beautiful and incredibly detailed he’s ever seen from a non-famous-artist. They were marvelous, true pieces of art.

 It used to annoy the petty him, just how talented Jinyoung naturally was, and that only helped in enhancing their rivalry. Right now, it felt different enough for Jaebum not to hate it, but he still couldn’t believe Jinyoung did all those masterpieces on a whim while he had to make at least three sketches to paint something worthy in the end. Good thing he hadn’t know that fact sooner.

 Groaning, Jaebum heaved a long sigh and scowled. “Damn, you just made me feel worse.” It didn’t carry any real annoyance or even jealousy, and thus it felt more like a tease than anything else. It’s interesting how Jaebum would’ve reacted way differently not that long ago.

 Jinyoung, already picking up on the whiny edge of that statement, chuckled. “Shut up.” His touch slid down Jaebum’s chest to reach for his hand just so he could intertwine their fingers together, lightly pulling on it when Jaebum’s palm pressed snuggly against his. “C’mon, let’s give you some time.”

 Jinyoung pulled him to the couch and practically forced him to sit down there. Jaebum would’ve complained further than with just a low groan if he hadn’t gotten too caught up with the way some of the guy’s pretty hair had fallen from the loose man bun he’d pulled it back into. Jinyoung gracefully put it behind one ear, those beautiful fingers skirting across the tender skin, and that’s when Jaebum realized he’d never not feel amazed by that simple yet completely endearing gesture.

“What do you usually do to relax?” Jinyoung pulled him back from his trance with the question, and he watched as the other casually reached for the TV. The oversized shirt Jinyoung wore went just past the curve of his butt, unfortunately hiding it from sight, but it did nothing to cover his meaty thighs. That was another great sight to behold.

 The answer came unbidden, automatically, when Jinyoung started to walk towards the bookshelf. “I jerk off.”

 Jinyoung tripped on his own feet. Jaebum smiled crookedly despite himself. When the other turned around to glare at him (Jaebum couldn’t fathom why he’s being glared at, to be honest), it’s with the spots high on his cheeks and ears set ablaze. “Jaebum.” He admonished, sounding and looking scandalized.

 Jaebum couldn’t hold in the laugh that bubbled past his throat. “I was being sincere.” He defended himself while raising both hands in surrender, innocent and inoffensive, but the diverted glint in his dark eyes was sure to tell otherwise. Jinyoung shot him a warning look, and he relented. “Alright, then. Uh… I watch movies?”

 At this, Jinyoung nodded. “Right. You like the artsy ones.” He commented, now walking back to the TV to turn it on. Static filled their ears for a moment until it faded into white noise as Jinyoung fumbled with the buttons.

 Jaebum was suddenly reminded of the day they stumbled onto one another at the cinema late at night, and how both had gone to watch artsy movies just that under different intentions. The thought of how their relationship had changed since then kind of warmed his heart. It felt nostalgic somehow.

“Yeah. I like those old, black-and-white ones too.” Jaebum offered, pulling both legs up on the couch and under himself. The sudden want of being cuddled that hit him out of nowhere just then almost made him fall off, though.

 Jinyoung hummed in understanding, set the TV on the main menu and retrieved the remote control from the top of it, coming back to join Jaebum where he’s left him moments ago.

“Alright. Let’s get you something to watch.” He announced while flopping down. The leather upholstery creaked underneath his weight, and their bare knees bumped as Jinyoung tried to find a spot where he could make himself comfortable.

 Eventually, Jinyoung ended up sitting halfway onto Jaebum’s lap, rucking his basketball shorts slightly up and gripping at the hem of his Bart Simpson sleepshirt. It wasn’t a real cuddle, but Jaebum was content with it, nonetheless.

 It all felt so domestic Jaebum got really scared for one second. Of what, he wouldn’t know, but when Jinyoung shifted and snuggled up to him, curling against his chest while zapping through the channels until he found some cult movie they could watch, Jaebum thought that well, he could live like this just fine.

 With Jinyoung pressed close to him, and his heartbeat echoing between their bodies, everything would be alright. The corners of his lips twitched into a fond smile. There’s nothing to fear.

 

______________________________________________

 

Notes:

  i made a pinboard for this story so if y'all want to, check it out [here](https://pin.it/3u75cb5ppm7gi5) :)


	7. The Shard Of The Bridge

 

 Jaebum liked to blame everything on everyone that wasn’t him. This time, though, there wasn’t anyone he could blame for him asking Jinyoung out on a proper date besides himself. And strangely enough, it didn’t come out as awkward as he thought it would. Neither the date, nor him taking the responsibility for once.

 His final project still wasn’t ready--it's barely touched after Jaebum almost ruined the rectangular piece entirely three days ago. However, Jaebum really wanted to do something fun with Jinyoung, just them two, and spend some time away from the constant pressure that was to finish that piece.

 And after making his head around it, he finally decided that, well, his project could surely wait another day. Going out with Jinyoung posed as way better of an option to himself right then.

 There’s this abstract art exhibition Jinyoung’s been craving to see for a while now, and Jaebum decided that the best date would be to take him there and fulfill that wish--even though they already saw artworks and so on practically every single day of their lives and he supposed they should do something different for once. It’s something they liked still, and something Jinyoung has been wanting to do, so… yeah. Jaebum still thought that that was the best idea, and faithfully stuck to it.

 For the second time in his life, karma didn’t try to fuck him up. When he took Jinyoung out on a date--saying it’s a secret whenever he asked where they’re going--and they pulled up at the curb of the art gallery street, Jinyoung looked genuinely happy and surprised with the outcome.

 Jaebum could swear he saw Jinyoung rubbing at his eyes with the sleeves of his turtle-neck right before they hopped off the bus, and those beautifully dark eyes did look suspiciously shiny and red when they reunited by the front door of the gallery, but he didn’t comment on it. Jinyoung was smiling so brightly that he seemed to literally sparkle with joy. If he’s gotten touched by the whole thing and teared up a little, Jaebum wouldn’t be the one to point that out. It did warm his heart at the prospect, nonetheless.

 Even though they’re supposed to just appreciate the art and relax a little, it didn’t take much for them to start debating on each artwork and making full analysis of them accordingly to the knowledge they’d acquired with their many classes in the visual arts course.

 Jinyoung would stop by one painting and start listing everything about it--from the scheme of colors to the historic period it’s inserted. And he’d do it so reverently, with sincere admiration and glee reflecting in his eyes as they glided from one piece to another, that Jaebum found himself unable to go against it. Therefore, he’d engage in the many comments Jinyoung made about those works, and even give his own opinion on them in return. A healthy exchange, at best.

 There were times where their opinions would diverge, and then Jinyoung would glare at him before pouting and marching away with a scowl, but differently from before, that would only make Jaebum chuckle affably and chase after him, instantly hugging him from behind and taking off on the important mission of filling his neck and profile with loud kisses. Jinyoung would try to shake him off twice, but then he’d end up leaning back against Jaebum’s chest and allowing this lovestruck grin to pull at the corners of his full lips for the rest of the day.

 That was such a change in their dynamic that it’d surprise Jaebum more often than not. Who’d have thought they’d be like that someday? Jaebum surely wouldn’t, but he wasn’t complaining now. Hugging Jinyoung and showering him with kisses turned out to be a concept he loved dearly anyway.

 During their tour by the art gallery, they also picked up on various tips they could use for their own exhibition at the university--how to attract more attention, how to organize the works harmoniously, how to make the right introduction to their art and styles--and so the day ended up being more inspiring than intended.

 Maybe that motivational phrase printed on the back of his cereal box was truly right; the inspiration for the greatest of works indeed was outside. First, Jinyoung, and then, the right way to display his art. It made a lot of sense.

 After their visit, Jaebum proposed they walked back home since it wasn’t all that far from there and the weather was agreeable enough. Jinyoung accepted it without much thought, but he still made Jaebum promise that he’d be giving him a piggy-back ride if his feet started to ache halfway through. Jaebum rolled his eyes, but sealed the promise with a way too affectionate kiss on Jinyoung’s soft cheek anyway.

 If Jinyoung blushed an angry red at that and spent the rest of their walk smiling to himself, Jaebum pretended he didn’t notice. Mainly because he was doing the exact same.

 They stumbled across a small street market two blocks down Jaebum’s studio apartment, and that seemed to be the first time Jinyoung has ever come across one, if the mystified and pretty much childlike look on his face was something to go by. Jaebum made an effort to pass by every tent just so Jinyoung wouldn’t miss anything.

“Hey, Jaebum, look at this,” Jinyoung called as they reached this tent that sell handmade bracelets. He picked a wooden-like one from the bundle of bracelets and held it up for Jaebum to see it, suavely sliding it around his right hand when Jaebum just kept on looking at it curiously. “Here.” He said when the bracelet sat around Jaebum’s wrist snuggly. “It suits you.”

 It’s hard to answer when there’s this itch scratching the back of his throat, emotion threatening to choke him up before he could either breathe or start crying. However, Jaebum still did a great job of biting on his lower lip and smiling fondly while looking at the new addition to his look. There were small kitten faces engraved on the wood. It’s cheesy as hell, but Jaebum loved it.

“You’re ridiculous.” It’s what Jaebum eventually answered, sounding a little breathless and choked up still. Jinyoung just grinned, paid for the present and pulled Jaebum to another tent.

 When they finally ended their tour around the street market, they walked the few blocks left to Jaebum’s home; Jinyoung eating the fried dough they’ve bought together, and Jaebum swinging their entangled hands back and forth.

 

 Essentially, not in a million years has Jaebum ever imagined himself in the position he was now. On his back, lying halfway on top of the kitchen counter, writhing in near desperation with Jinyoung standing between his parted legs. That was a very different image from the one his mind had created for all those wet dreams he’s been having with the man for the past year, so it’s kind of unsettling. Unfamiliar.

 But then, everything about that was unfamiliar to him. It wasn’t like he’s had anyone sucking the air out of his lugs while caressing every part of his body before--at least not like Jinyoung did now, with such devotion and passion that it got hard to put it into words.

 Jaebum could feel those cold shivers traveling down his spine and going around to settle in the pit of his stomach, and it suddenly felt like he’s riding a rollercoaster. The cocktail of emotions was so heavy and strong that it left him dizzy, drunk with feeling. Jaebum couldn’t say it’s something unpleasant, no. It’s just… different. Just like everything that was Jinyoung.

 And there’s something really scary about having such intimacy with another person that it’s normal for them to go down on each other a few hours after going home from a sweet date at an art gallery only because they feel like it. No pent-up sexual frustration, no drunk mistakes, no nothing; just the honest desire to be close, to enjoy their company, and satiate their mutual want for each other.

 Jaebum has never experienced such pure thing before. He wondered if that’s what love felt like, but the thought would rarely stick. Just like the one of why he wanted Jinyoung to experience it with him so bad.

 Jinyoung chose that moment to lean down to suck a bruise into his neck, teeth grazing the tender skin afterwards and hips pressing against the rough material of his jeans right where his hard-on strained inside the boxers, and Jaebum nearly screamed with the stimulation. Jinyoung grinned against the freshly blossoming hickey.

 The edge of the counter pressed uncomfortably against the small of Jaebum’s back, but he paid it no mind for now. Jinyoung pulling away slightly to peel the shirt off his own body was way more important at the moment. Jaebum realized then that he’d never tire of admiring the carefully defined lines of Jinyoung’s well-built body. It’s a wonderful work to behold.

 Without the additional weight of Jinyoung pushing him up against the counter, Jaebum slid down just enough to plant the heels of his socked feet back on the floor, this way also dragging the bulge in his pants over Jinyoung’s. Jaebum breathed hotly against Jinyoung’s mouth, bodies pressed together from chest to hips to thighs.

 Jinyoung snaked one hand to the back of Jaebum’s neck and gripped at the hair there before pulling him closer, taking in a deep breath as if he’s about to go underwater. Jaebum all but mewled the moment their mouths joined again, hands roaming Jinyoung’s naked chest as they kissed, and he felt more than heard the low groan the other did in the back of his throat when one thumb rubbed a hard nub. The kiss deepened.

 They shed more of their clothes, careful and slow as if unwrapping a Christmas present, and soon enough Jaebum was being propped against the countertop again, just that butt naked this time around. The granite felt so cold against his heated skin that Jaebum couldn’t help hissing, only to have the sound dutifully swallowed by Jinyoung as the guy once again put himself in between his parted thighs and sough his mouth as if starving.

 Jaebum felt himself being coaxed down on his back, shoulder blades pressing over the surface before the rest of his body could, and then the warmth of Jinyoung’s very presence enveloped his senses as the guy chased after him, weight pinning him down as they both settled on the countertop for the briefest of moments.

 Cold automatically embraced him when Jinyoung pulled all the way back, but before he could protest and demand the other to come close again, blunt nails were scrapping each side of his abdomen while going down, down, down, until they brushed the sensitive flesh of his groin; and suddenly, Jaebum couldn’t remember what he wanted to complain about.

 Jinyoung’s hands kneaded the supple flesh on the inner side of Jaebum’s thighs for a moment, taking relish in the soft noises that kept spilling from those delicious parted lips. Next, they finally dared to touch where they’re most wanted, and Jaebum gasped at the sensation of having his erection trapped within a tight fist and the patch of skin between his balls caressed softly by the insistent pad of a finger.

 There’s this meek throb echoing through every muscle in his body. Jaebum felt strangely relaxed as Jinyoung stroked him languidly but fiercely, eventually rubbing one thumb over the head just so he could smear slick allover the crown. It felt so good Jaebum was almost a hundred percent sure he’s purring.

 And there’s something so intrinsically magnificent in giving himself to Jinyoung, allowing him to touch not only his body but soul alike. It made him feel secure, safe for some reason. It’s like nothing could really top the thrilling sensation of fully enjoying Jinyoung’s undivided attention, selfless care and wonderful ministrations thoroughly, and Jaebum loved to feel that way. He loved how Jinyoung made him feel.

“What are you thinking about?” Jinyoung suddenly asked, perceiving the change in his expression. And there must’ve been something in there--something that gave away his most heartfelt feelings--because the bright look that crossed Jinyoung’s face then was beyond any description.

 Feeling conscious about the kind of thoughts he’s having, Jaebum turned into a deep shade of red that got Jinyoung raising a curious eyebrow at. He wetted his lips, trying his best not to look like he’s caught red-handed. “Why?”

“You have this dreamy, awestruck look on right now.” Jinyoung answered easily, a dopey grin playing with the corner of his mouth. His thumb teased at the slit all the while, making it hard for Jaebum to keep making excuses as for why he’s at the verge of exploding with emotion.

 When Jinyoung slowly drifted south, leaning down and getting so close to the glistening head of his cock that he could feel the feathery gust of a breathing fanning across the sensitive skin, Jaebum squirmed with a guttural whine. Jinyoung chose that moment to play with his balls, rolling them in his palm gently. Always merciless.

 But it wasn’t until a wet tongue was peeking out to have a taste of his frenulum barely one minute later that Jaebum nearly choked, arching off the counter. Dizzy with arousal, he answered, “You have your hand on my d-dick, how do you want me to look like? Bored?”

 Jinyoung rolled his eyes, but flattened his tongue against the underside of Jaebum’s shaft, nonetheless. The drag up was deliriously good. “Is it that hard to answer honestly?” He chided between teasing kitten-licks over the head, and Jaebum was sure half of the pressure building in his lower stomach was with the want of kicking that smirk off Jinyoung’s face.

 Seemingly reading that thought on his expression, Jinyoung raised one eyebrow as if accepting a challenge that hasn’t been voiced out, and then promptly proceeded to engulf Jaebum’s dick, sucking around what he could fit in his mouth like it’s a punishment, heels of hands holding Jaebum’s hips down. The sensation of having that wet and perfectly tight warmth surrounding him was enough to make Jaebum’s eyes roll back.

 Finding enough strength to push the words out his chest even that for a brief moment, Jaebum panted, “I’m thinking about you. There. You happy now?” He then brought one hand up to plaster it over his own mouth, keen on muffling the otherwise whining sounds that wanted to escape him, and forced his eyes open again to chance a look down at Jinyoung.

 Their gazes met, burned together, and Jinyoung bobbed his head torturously slow before picking up a rhythm. A roughish tongue twirled around the head when it’s favorable, sometimes dipped into the slit, and there’s one hand stroking what else was left out and past his stretching lips, relentlessly. Jaebum watched as the muscles of his own abdomen tensed and flexed at each glide. “ _Ah_ , fuck.”

 Jinyoung didn’t answer it with words, but the healthy glow and adorable blush of his sweaty skin told Jaebum exactly what he wanted to know. Jinyoung indeed was happy with that revelation. Jaebum smiled despite himself, eyebrows furrowing almost right away as Jinyoung’s mouth worked particularly good on him.

 It’s a couple minutes from there that Jaebum found himself biting at the corner of his hand in a weak attempt to restrain a strangled sob as he came under Jinyoung’s meticulous care, orgasm hitting him so hard it shook him down to the bones while echoing through his spent muscles for a stretch. Jinyoung’s name kept punching past his trembling lips like a prayer, reverently.

 It took him a while to hear anything over the rush of blood that seemed to ring in his ears like insistent bells. But when he did, it’s to listen to Jinyoung’s soft coaxing as he showered his temples with soothing kisses. It’s just then that Jaebum noticed how he’s been nearly crushing Jinyoung in a way too tight hug, holding him as if that’s the only way to get his sanity back. He didn’t make to stop doing so, though.

“ _Jaebummie_ ,” Jinyoung breathed against his heaving chest, raising goosebumps to race through skin. Jaebum wasn’t sure if they’re due to that or the fact Jinyoung called him like _that_ , but it sent lazy jolts allover his body, nonetheless. “Jaebum _mie_ , please, please, can I…?”

 Jaebum was nodding his head even before realizing he didn’t know what Jinyoung was asking permission for. “Yes.” He licked his lips, still trying to regain his breath. It wasn’t like he’d deny anything to Jinyoung by this point. He’d given himself completely to that person already.

 Jinyoung made a small sound of gratitude before stretching and thanking Jaebum with a rather clumsy smooch, burying his face on the crook of his neck next. And as more of the fog that clouded his sated mind dissipated, Jaebum felt how Jinyoung was now grinding down on him, seeking his own release. It was so hot Jaebum couldn’t help moaning low in his throat, rolling his hips as an incentive. Jinyoung bit at the protuberance of his collarbone in exchange.

 The snapping of Jinyoung’s hips was unsteady, frenetic and just at the verge of losing control. His dick dragged against Jaebum’s spent, softening one, sometimes sliding too down south that the flushed head would smear slick across the valley down Jaebum’s balls. Once or twice, it’d brush over the ring of muscles far underneath, teasingly, and Jaebum would clench around nothing despite himself.

 It lasted another few minutes, and then Jinyoung was spilling onto the crevice between Jaebum’s groin and thigh while shuddering on top of him. Jaebum felt another thinner load oozing off his own cock at that. They shivered together, and this time, it’s Jaebum the one to run his hands over the expanse of Jinyoung’s sweaty back in tries to calm him down.

 Somewhere along the line, they shifted and Jinyoung pulled away, offering one hand for Jaebum to do the same and lean off the counter. Jaebum was still feeling slight groggy and jelly-legged from their intercourse, but he complied anyway.

 Jinyoung commented something about how he would never be able to look at that counter again without getting a boner. Jaebum slapped him on the shoulder, giggling along when the other did so, even though he could relate. Nothing in that apartment would feel the same after that time they spent together.

 Before, it’s just Jaebum reflected in those walls, furniture, and decoration. But now, Jinyoung was sprinkled allover it, present in every crevice like permanent ink on canvas.

 

 Jaebum wouldn’t say it felt awkward now, but it did feel a little bit foreign still to have someone so present in his life nowadays. Especially when he was in deep need of contact or just feeling particularly horny. It’s so thrilling to have someone he could reach for whenever he wanted to cuddle or spend hours making out on the couch. And it felt even better to know it’s Jinyoung that person he could count with now.

 It didn’t feel as awkward now, to seek intimacy within Jinyoung’s touch and arch into it whenever the familiar warmth of his artistic hands pressed down on his muscles, squeezing, caressing, appeasing. It felt right, like finally finding the missing piece of the puzzle he’s been trying to solve for years. With Jinyoung, Jaebum felt complete.

 And he might’ve said it aloud to Jinyoung someday, not as clearly as it’s in his head, but instead in a jumble of incoherent whimpers while Jinyoung swallowed around his dick against the cold tiles of the bathroom.

 Jinyoung’s eyelashes had fluttered open to allow glazed eyes to shoot up and meet his, a hundred and one emotions swimming in them, but Jaebum could only shake his own head and let it thump back on the sweaty wall with a gasp. The soft clatter of the wooden pieces of his bracelet echoed in his ears when he guided trembling fingers to Jinyoung’s damp hair, and then the wet noises coming from his mouth drowned every other sound.

 They didn’t talk about it then, and later on, when both were sated and almost dozing off on the bathroom floor, it didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up either. And just like that, the moment passed with unspoken words hanging in the air around them. Jaebum supposed it’d feel like an understatement just like the other times they didn’t verbally share what they felt, but this time around, it felt curiously stifling instead.

 And, independent of how much Jaebum tried to shake that eerie feeling off, he couldn’t stop wondering whether that strange yet constant clutching at his heart was a bad omen of sorts.

 

 After almost a year of sheer struggle, Jaebum finally finished his final project for college in the second weekend that followed his art gallery date with Jinyoung. Deep inside, he knew that he should be feeling thrilled with the result and popping open a bottle of champagne to celebrate that accomplishment, however, as he regarded what had to be the most special work of his youth, he felt unsettlingly empty instead. Hollow, like a shell.

 Maybe it’s just like that off-putting sentiment you have when you meet the end of a personal goal, Jaebum thought. Similar to when you hike up a mountain, full of excitement and the drive to reach the peak to look out from the top and feel like the entire world is yours, and then the moment passes, and you find yourself asking: what next?

 Jaebum has been having a motivation to keep going for the past couple of months; he’d had a goal until then, and his days, they’d had a meaning. But now, he just felt scarily lost. What was he going to do now? It felt like he didn’t have a purpose in life anymore--and he knew he’s exaggerating, but he’s naturally dramatic, and things were how they were.

 The journey mattered more than the destination, so when it all came to an end along with Jaebum’s work on his new piece, it left a hollowness inside his chest that was proving to be quite hard to cope. And so, Jaebum couldn’t help being irritable and in a snappy mood immediately after polishing the last patch of carved stone of his graduating project. Even though it did come off as an admirable piece.

 The entirety of it was marvelous, from the complex posture to every contour well done by the tip of his detailing tools, and just like many works from that same style, the dynamism, physical realism and classical composition were on point. Everything was perfectly sculptured, influenced by the Late Renaissance movement, and Jaebum couldn’t be prouder of it.

 But, Jaebum was in a bad mood. Therefore, he regarded it numbly for the one and a half hour he stood there, sitting on the couch, as though it were nothing too special. As if he hadn’t put his soul in it.

 His phone went off with an incoming call somewhere on the bed, but Jaebum barely blinked in the direction of it. The tune faded away eventually. It’s the ringtone he’d set for Jinyoung’s number. Jaebum felt just barely guilty for not answering it, regretful even, the ache in his chest deepening just this much. But, he knew better than to interact with anybody else whenever he’s in that kinda mood.

 He’d more than surely snap at Jinyoung and end up saying something he didn’t mean, so it’s better if they didn’t interact today. Of course, there have been moments where Jaebum had felt helpless and frustrated and it’d been Jinyoung the one to make everything feel right again, and nothing wrong had come from it, but this time… this time it’s different.

 It felt stronger and more irrational than before, as in a whole new level of irritability where even the air would irk a fight in him. Jaebum knew he needed a moment alone to go through this one, to get over that depressing wave of purposeless that washed over him. It usually passed within a day or two if he’s lucky, so he should be fine if he isolated himself for now. He really just needed a moment.

 And Jaebum should’ve expected it, for karma to choose that pretty much critic moment to unceremoniously shove Jinyoung at him and see hell break loose. Jaebum should’ve seen it coming. But it’s been such a long time since the bitch decided that it’d be fun to fuck with him that he’d kinda grown used to not having to worry too much about everything. He should’ve known better.

 But he didn’t, and when he opened his door to a whiny Jinyoung telling him how it’s raining cats and dogs outside a while later, he just knew that nothing good would come from that. Dread coiled in his stomach, vicious and detrimental, as he stepped aside to let Jinyoung in despite the warning bells going off in his head. He could feel how disastrously everything was bound to happen then.

“Oh, you finished it!” It’s the first thing Jinyoung exclaimed after greeting Jaebum with a small peck on the lips, eyes twinkling as he hurriedly shook a heavy coat off his shoulders and approached the sculpture in the middle of the room. Jaebum let him. “Oh my god. It’s…” with one hand, he gingerly touched the white stone and smiled in awe. “It’s perfect. You really did a great job here, huh, Jaebummie.”

 Jaebum winced at the nickname now. It’s funny, because he’s been nothing but head over heels with it ever since Jinyoung first started calling him like that, but right now, it rubbed him the wrong way for some reason. It felt patronizing even though Jaebum _knew_ it wasn’t meant like that. Truth was, he just wanted something to pick a fight over.

 For now, though, Jaebum tried to tamper the feeling down and simply nodded, accepting the compliment. “Yeah. Just finished it, actually. Didn’t even clean up yet.” Indeed, both his hands and the floor were still coated with oil and some mud from the dust that had gotten soggy in the process. Even though he’d already finished it over an hour ago.

“Mhm.” Jinyoung crouched down beside the sculpture to inspect it further, enthralled. Not looking at Jaebum, he offered, “Want some help? I pick the mop, and you, the bucket with soapy water this time around, what do you think?”

“No, it’s fine. You can just do something else.” Jaebum said while walking away already, missing the curious frown Jinyoung threw at him as he escaped to the bathroom. It wasn’t hard to imagine it, though. It’s become their ‘thing’ to do the cleaning together, with Jaebum often whining for Jinyoung to mop the floor whenever he felt particularly lazy.

 Jaebum suddenly declining Jinyoung’s help in favor of doing it all alone… that surely was a bit weird. However, Jinyoung didn’t comment on it neither did he pry into that matter any further, choosing instead to simply hum in understanding and proceed to--as Jaebum suggested--do something else. He ended up drawing on Jaebum’s spiral-bound notebook while sitting cross-legged on his bed.

 They stood in companionable silence for great part of Jaebum’s cleaning, but it felt heavy. Jinyoung would keep glancing in his direction every once in a while, and that too was getting on Jaebum’s nerves. The worst was that there wasn’t any plausible reason for him to be so irritable that day, but he just couldn’t help it.

 Maybe he’s just woken up with the wrong foot, maybe it’s just the restlessness of doesn’t having anything to do after finishing his project, but whatever it was, it only got him feeling even more annoyed. And this time, it’s mainly at himself. The problem is that it reflected on others, too.

 The moment Jaebum came back from the bathroom for the second time--having gone back in there to return the mop and water bucket to their place--he practically stomped to the kitchen. Next, he’s washing the dishes, wiping the counter and even cleaning the stove. Anything to keep himself busy.

 One of Jaebum’s most effective ways to let off steam was through doing the cleaning; whenever he felt anxious, worried or irrationally annoyed, he’d clean the entire house until he felt too exhausted to keep up the bad mood, therefore burning all the frustration off by tiring himself out. It worked fine most of the days.

 But Jinyoung didn’t know about it yet (a glaring fact on how new and damn fragile their relationship still was), and so he kept frowning at Jaebum’s restless behavior until it became too much. Deciding to address the elephant in the room, he finally asked, “Jaebum, are you ok?”

“Yes.” Jaebum rasped, voice strained with effort from the incessant rubbing he’s been performing over a non-existent stain on the dark granite of the countertop. It shined like never before when Jaebum let it alone after a long moment.

 Jinyoung waited for Jaebum to say something else, but when one minute passed and no further answer came, he took it upon himself to keep the talk going (being completely unaware of how insisting on it was the worst approach he could take whenever Jaebum was like that). There wasn’t how he could know about that either. “Really, though? You’re acting strange today.”

 Jaebum huffed out a laugh, humorless and ugly like the rainy weather outside. “Well, I’m sorry I can’t always please you with my behavior.” He spat despite his better judgment telling him to shut up and take a deep breath.

 And to his doom, the result was immediate; it instantly gave the atmosphere this tense energy he could almost touch.

 Screwing his eyes shut while internally scolding himself, he turned back to the sink. There weren’t any more dirty dishes he could occupy his mind with scrubbing, though; he’s been left on his own there. He opened his eyes to glare down at the impeccably clean tub. It reflected a distorted image of his frown.

“Wow, what was that?” Jinyoung asked at length, expressing his astonishment and surprise both. Jaebum could hear the bedsheets rustling, and soon enough there were footsteps approaching him by the kitchen area. It took the other less than twenty seconds to put a placating hand on Jaebum’s shoulder, trying to turn him around just so their gazes could meet. “Jaebummie, what’s wrong?”

 Jaebum pulled his shoulder free, voice pitched with exasperation when he whined, “Nothing! God, just fuck off”. It didn’t sound anything like the playful, light whining from before. It sounded pretty much warning now. Jaebum’s never looked more like a cornered animal than he did then; ready to bite if Jinyoung came one more step closer.

 Jinyoung, though, looked at him as if he’s been bitten already. “‘Just fuck off’, huh?” He scoffed, and there’s so much resentment in his tone that Jaebum felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes in response. He didn’t know why he wanted to cry so bad right then, but _god_ , did he want to.

 Damn it, that wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. Jaebum felt like shit, but he still couldn’t bring himself to speak past the lump that has formed in his throat. Why couldn’t him have had a moment alone? Everything would’ve been so different if Jinyoung had dropped by tomorrow instead of today.

 Still trying to do some salvage in that scenario, Jinyoung spoke up again, this time giving him an advice of sorts. “You should open up more often, y’know, take it off your chest. I can’t read minds, so you gotta tell me what’s wrong instead of taking it out on me.” His dismay and utmost hurt were still pretty much clear in every inch of his expression, though.

 Jaebum consciously knew that, if there’s a moment to back away and apologize for being such a moody asshole that day before things turned worse, that moment was right then. However, the fight still pumped groundlessly in his veins, and thus all he did was tip his chin up in a defying way.

 Jinyoung pressed his lips at that behavior, but added even so, “Because, for a relationship to work out alright, it must also have a great amount of honesty serving as its base. We’ve to build trust.” Taking a deep, sounding heavy breath, he then finished with wry huff, “And like, it’s really frustrating when you’re closed off and moody like this.”

“If it’s bothering you that much, you can go home. It’s not like you live in here.” Jaebum spat then, meaning none of it, and the regret that coursed through him was instantaneous. Heart sinking in his chest, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eye sockets, head hanging onto his palms. That wasn’t how that conversation should be going at all.

 Silence filled the room, stagnant and foreboding. It took them a long moment to break it, and it’s been Jinyoung the one to do so, voice thin and heartbroken. “What?”

“I’m just saying.” Jaebum grumbled. “I finished the sculpture. It’s done. You don’t have to keep coming here every damn day, especially if you’re so distressed by me being ‘closed off and moody’.”

 A dull pang of guilt pierced through his core in reaction to his own venomous words, and Jaebum knew he should _really_ apologize for saying such things now, but the sour mood still weighted heavily on him, and stubborn pride had started to play a role in this too.

 Jaebum wanted to say that he didn’t mean any of those things, that he’s just having a bad day and would usually snap at everything whenever he felt like that, but the apology would just not come out. He felt helpless, hurt but the immense _hurt_ he saw crumpling Jinyoung’s pretty features into a pained grimace, but the jumble of emotions that swam inside him got his throat clogged up.

“You finished the sculpture, so you’re finishing with me too.” Jinyoung stated, interpreting Jaebum’s unmeant words in the worst--but honestly most plausible--of ways. The look Jinyoung had now was one of betrayal. “Shit, is that what I am to you, Jaebum? You were bearing with me here just for how long it took you to finish the project?”

  _That’s not it_ , Jaebum screamed in his head, but what came out was another grumpy grumble of, “I didn’t say that”. None of them said anything for a while, once again communicating through their eyes alone. Jaebum hated how different this felt from the other times, how accusatory and painful. It felt wrong.

 The way Jinyoung had worded his assumption made it look worse than it already did, and there’s nothing right in both scenarios. Jaebum hasn’t used Jinyoung just for the sake of his final project--god, he’d never do such thing. He enjoyed the other’s company, his brilliant and warm presence that seemed to make everything in life feel better and worth of living. Jaebum’s fallen in love with him, treasured him dearly. It wasn’t like Jinyoung thought.

“You didn’t have to.” Jinyoung scoffed at length, bitter. Regarding Jaebum for another second, he slowly started to shake his head as if he’s done the biggest mistake in his life. And his next words could only back up this feeling. “Y’know what’s worse? It’s that I really thought that you liked my company, that you liked _me_ \--and like, I’m not even saying this for the sex part, no, I just- I thought we were _friends_. I should’ve known better, I’m so stupid.”

 Spurred on by the uncontrollable fear he felt at seeing Jinyoung spinning on his heels to walk away, Jaebum tried to explain himself. “Jinyoung-” he called after the other, not yet finding the strength to chase him and stop his frantic movements as he affectedly picked up his things. Jaebum was rotted to his spot.

 When Jinyoung shoved his arms through the sleeves on his coat, he turned to address Jaebum again, cutting him midsentence. “I’m sorry for bothering you this much. You’re free now.” He spat heatedly, sounding resentful and frustrated both. His eyes darted to the sculpture in the middle of the room for one moment, and one million emotions flashed across those dark-brown irises before he added, “And congrats on your piece. It honestly looks good.”

 And with that, Jinyoung marched to the exit, only stopping by the doorway to put on his shoes, and then he’s gone with the thud of the door slamming shut bidding him farewell. Jaebum remained by the kitchen counter until he heard the last of footsteps echoing in the hallway, teary over eyes fixated on the hardwood floor.

 As soon as he’s finally left alone as he so fervently wanted, it didn’t feel as good as he’s been expecting. In fact, it felt horrible; coated with regret, guilt and something equally dull that pierced his heart with daggers but that he couldn’t really name. Jaebum scowled, cursed himself while letting his body slid against the counter until he was sitting on the floor.

 The angry tears he’s been wanting to shed for the entire day finally came out now, and they felt way more liberating than he could’ve ever imagined. This, however, wasn’t a particularly good thing anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the mild drama won't last long so don't worry heh


	8. Silken Marble

 Jaebum couldn’t comprehend how his life had gone from a sea of roses to that catastrophe so early and so soon.

 The fight he’s had with Jinyoung was so silly, motiveless and uncalled for that it almost gave him whiplash the next morning, when all the unreasonable frustration and desire to pick a fight have left his body. It’s been so abrupt and meaningless. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around what had happened.

 None of the things he’s said and none of the things Jinyoung assumed he’d meant were true. Everything was just a big misunderstanding that has taken disastrous proportions. Jaebum liked Jinyoung, and his company, and he honestly considered him his best friend now--it enraged him how he couldn’t say just that during their argument yesterday. Jinyoung assumed the worst from his unnecessary sharp and rude sentences, and Jaebum did nothing to convince him of the contrary.

 Jaebum absolutely hated his inability of thoroughly expressing his feelings, especially when he’s going through one of his temperamental crises and everything around him sparkled red with irrational anger. And he hated it even more for it being the main motive behind his fight with Jinyoung.

 After Jinyoung had stormed out the apartment the day before, Jaebum went into a full-blown fit of anger that included frustrated crying and destroying things by throwing them on the walls. It’s been a while since the last time he did anything that dramatic, so it surprisingly helped canalizing his rage out of his system faster. Fortunately, he still had the presence of mind not to damage the sculpture of Jinyoung he’s just finished polishing, but all the other statues of Jinyoung’s hands, profile and even torso from his Secret Room were shattered into pieces.

 It felt liberating in a way that only poets and eccentric artists could understand. Jaebum knew he should do something about those anger outbursts and stop breaking things whenever he’s mad, but it brought such a relieving feeling to him every time he did so that it’s hard to stop. The only times he didn’t feel the need to act so destructively was when Jinyoung stood beside him, placating his mood swings with kisses and snuggles.

 Jinyoung truthfully brought the best on him, molding him into a new shape and polishing whatever crack that there might be in his skull. Jinyoung made of him a better person, and Jaebum felt kinda regretful for not being good enough for him. Jaebum felt like shit for having hurt him when all he did was try to help.

 Jaebum was determined to apologize to Jinyoung and clear that whole mess the next time they had any classes together, which according to his school schedule it’s gonna be in two days. The prospect of being completely open with the other about his true feelings frightened him, the vulnerability weighting on his shoulders like a ton of bricks, but he trusted Jinyoung more than he’s ever trusted anyone in his life. Jaebum loved Jinyoung enough to allow him to see every part of him, especially the ugly ones.

 After their fight broke down and Jaebum found himself alone on his kitchen’s floor, desperately missing Jinyoung while seeing little traces of him spread all about the apartment (that has long since being only Jaebum’s), he realized how deep his feelings for Jinyoung were, and how he’s the only person Jaebum wanted to be totally honest with. He’s already been stripped bare for Jinyoung, albeit physically only, but now he wanted Jinyoung to see all the insecurities he carried as well, with no more things left unsaid between them.

 When Jaebum woke up this morning, miserable and full of regret, the first thing he saw was the notebook Jinyoung’s been drawing on the day before, pushed to the far corner of the mattress and almost completely blocked from sight by one of the pillows. Jaebum hasn’t seen it there last night when he lied down to shift around in bed for hours, but then he’s so out of it that anything could’ve passed unnoticed.

 Picking it up, he mournfully looked at the slight crumpled page that was on display. It broke his heart to see a sketch of himself drawn on there, utterly beautiful and full of sentiment like only Jinyoung knew how to do, and then there were lots of small hearts surrounding his frame like a halo. It’s so cheesy it’s ridiculous, but Jaebum loved it so much his chest hurt. He truly needed to apologize to Jinyoung.

 Jaebum skirted the pad of his fingers across the paper sheet reverently for a few moments before closing the notebook with all the care in the world. That drawing was one of the most precious things he owned now, and that thought suddenly reminded him of something that ended up giving him an idea.

 With his mind set, Jaebum sprung from the bed and went looking for his camera around the living room. It took him barely two minutes to find it, stuffed in a corner of the couch, but when he did, he instantly went looking for his laptop next. In less than five minutes, he’d everything he needed in his power.

 Jaebum checked the camera’s memory card while the laptop booted up, a small sigh leaving his lips at the photos he saw in there. It’d still take two days for him to see Jinyoung in class--he didn’t think it’d be a good idea to just go pay him a visit in his own home yet, it’s better to give them that little time for now. Therefore, in the meanwhile, he decided to email the university his formal registration for that art exhibition they intended to make one week after the presentation of their last project.

 After exchanging a few emails containing the necessary information for his entry, Jaebum registered more than 20 artworks which were all separated in 3 categories, and not much after, he got his application accepted. The automatic reply from the university official account wished him good luck with his project, politely asking if he wanted to receive tips for the best display, but he simply closed the tab and leaned back on his seat.

 Jaebum didn’t need tips for how to manage his presentation. Flipping through the memory card’s content once again while absently playing with the wooden bands of the bracelet that still hugged his wrist, a longing smiled graced his lips. He already had the perfect concept in mind.

 

 Jaebum was so eager to meet Jinyoung when the time has finally come that he arrived at the campus nearly two hours earlier than the one stipulated for his classes. His hands sweated when he rubbed them on his jeans-clad thighs, seated on their usual spot at the campus’s cafeteria, and he couldn’t stop looking around in search of a certain someone.

 The fluttering feeling in his stomach slowly turned into one that made him sick with nerves when, one hour and forty-five minutes later, Jinyoung didn’t appear in there. He should’ve guessed the guy wouldn’t be all too eager to see him in return, given the circumstances. Damn it.

 Picking up his backpack and rushing to the classroom--which, unfortunately, was on the other side of the whole campus--Jaebum made it to class with three minutes to spare, but it wasn’t the run there that made his lungs feel like they’ve been squeezed empty as he stood by the door. The very first sight he got of Jinyoung in three long days, did.

 Jinyoung looked as ethereal as ever, bathed in sunlight as it streamed in through the wide windows he’s sitting by. His hair was pulled back in his signature man bun, all messy and charming like always. Perched on the bridge of his nose, was his horn-rimmed glasses; but even through the lens and across the entire room, Jaebum could still spot the dark bags under those downcast eyes. It pained him.

 The professor’s voice bloomed from somewhere behind him to announce his arrival and, consequently, the beginning of the class just as Jaebum made to give the first step in Jinyoung’s direction, and suddenly everyone’s attention was brought to his general direction.

 When Jinyoung’s head tipped back and his dark-brown eyes met Jaebum’s, they widened with one thousand emotions flashing in them before darting away, stubbornly focusing on their professor instead. Jaebum pursed his lips at this, a dismayed frown wrinkling his forehead as he ducked his head and headed for one of the seats available in the far back of the class. On his way there, he didn’t miss the stiffness on Jinyoung’s shoulders and neither how the guy made a point to completely ignore his presence from then on.

 Jaebum supposed he should be used to that kind of treatment by now, what with all those years of rivalry and meaningless fights, but the truth was, after sharing so many intimate moments with Jinyoung and getting a taste of how it’s to be on the receiving end of his unbidden adoration, being treated that coldly hurt like hell. But then, Jaebum’s brought this on himself. There’s nothing fairer than being punished for it.

 The class passed by in a blur. Jaebum spent all of its two hours stealing glances from Jinyoung and watching him from afar, wondering what might be going in his head. It’s a good thing that class has been an orientation on their monography of sorts and Jaebum had already finished writing his, so he wouldn’t have to feel guilty for completely ignoring whatever the professor was saying. Jaebum had enough of things to feel guilty about.

 When they got dismissed, Jaebum didn’t even have time to slip his things back into his backpack before Jinyoung was springing from his seat and walking away, taking purposely large steps just so he could escape the room faster. In a haste, Jaebum tried to shove everything inside and nearly tripped on his own shoes while trying to stand up, mumbling a curse while chasing after the guy right away.

 Jinyoung was already on the bottom of the stairs down the corridor when Jaebum spotted him among a sea of people coming and going. Jaebum called his name a few times, trying to both catch up to him and attract his attention with one arm stretched high over his head, waving. Heads turned in his direction, whispers barely reaching his ears as the other students watched the scene with curiosity, but he could only focus on how unreachable Jinyoung could be if he wanted to--behavior that was immensely contrary to the one the guy has been having around him for the past decade.

 There was a brief moment where Jinyoung stopped and glanced back at him from over one shoulder, brows furrowed and melancholy in his eyes, giving Jaebum a sliver of hope just to painfully take it away again when turning back around and disappearing around a corner.

 And then it hit Jaebum like a punch, the thought that Jinyoung’s been making the effort to chase after him all along, allowing him to be a part of his life even under the pretense of being enemies with him. It echoed in his mind now, all those times Jinyoung’s confessed to him how he’d always wanted to be his friend, get close to him and just enjoy his company. It’d escalated to something romantic in the course of things, right, but the main point was… Jinyoung just wanted Jaebum to _want_ him in his life as well.

 Jaebum hadn’t really thought about it much before, but now he could understand part of the pain Jinyoung constantly felt while being rejected. Especially after they’d created such a strong, intimate bond for the past few weeks and it had burned down to ashes so easily. And just like that, Jaebum’s heart broke a little bit more for having hurt the guy and pushed him away once again.

 However, just as Jinyoung hadn’t given up on him for years, Jaebum wasn’t gonna give up on the guy now either. They still had a couple of classes together until the end of the month, so all he needed to do was keep insisting and defeat Jinyoung’s avoidance and silence treatment by exhaustion. That was the first step to his redemption.

 

 Jaebum consciously started to act just like Jinyoung did in the past; looking at him from afar and smiling crookedly when Jinyoung caught him staring, making exaggerated efforts to take the seat closest to Jinyoung’s in class, orbiting around him without getting too close in fear of getting burnt. Unsurprisingly, Jinyoung also started to act like Jaebum did in the past.

 It’s like their roles were reversed now, and it brought a strange feeling to tickle his stomach. Damn, he’d even found Jinyoung’s social media profile on the internet--where he’d once told Jaebum he uploaded pictures of his artworks periodically--and would spend hours scrolling through the posts with a yearning that was this close to outgrowing his decision of waiting for things to fall back into place eventually. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, no; it’s just curiously amusing how much Jinyoung’s grown into him in the time they spent together.

 The presentation for their class’s last project and subsequent graduation was less than three weeks away, and even though Jaebum already had everything ready and set to go, he couldn’t stop feeling hesitant and insecure about what Jinyoung was gonna think about it. The guy has already seen the sculpture, complimented it even, but what if he felt uncomfortable seeing it on display after their fight?

 Jaebum wanted to talk to him about it, among many other things. Ask if it’s still okay--ask if _they_ are still gonna be okay. Jaebum missed talking to Jinyoung and being reassured by his complacent smile alone. He just missed him so fucking much.

 As the days went by, Jaebum found it harder and harder to avoid a direct approach, more than often asking himself how Jinyoung had been so calm and collected back when they’re rivals.

 Maybe, he thought while shifting in bed the night before the presentation, that’s because at that time Jinyoung only wanted a friend, and now, Jaebum couldn’t stop remembering the sweet taste of Jinyoung’s lips and the comforting warmth of his body close to his. Those surely changed a few things.

 In the beginning of the year, it’s just about a friend crush, but that wasn’t the case anymore. Staying away from Jinyoung while being constantly assaulted by memories of them together intimately was the worst in Jaebum’s opinion, because it enhanced the hurtful feeling provided by their fight tenfold. Jaebum missed everything they’ve experienced together, but he still missed Jinyoung’s company the most. He wondered whether Jinyoung also felt like that now.

 Perhaps it’s the nerves of having to display his final project on the next day, or how his whole body seemed to wither without Jinyoung’s warmth next to him after all these thoughts about their relationship he’s been having, but whatever it’s been, it’s keeping him awake and frustrated for great part of the night. When he checked his phone and it glared 3AM back at him, Jaebum gave up with a groan and decided to get up. Filling his mind with something else could help.

 Just that everything he could think about in his restlessness was Jinyoung, and how badly he wanted to make peace with him again. It reminded him of that day at the pub, where he’d gone to Jinyoung and apologized for his crude behavior and even cruder words, and how easily he’s been forgiven.

 It’s different now, the wound lied deeper this time, but the maddening desire of running to Jinyoung and telling him how sorry he was about everything was essentially the same. And Jaebum’s had enough of the concept that everything was going to be sorted out with time. He wanted to take action, just like before.

 For some reason that’s still a mystery to Jaebum, a startling thought suddenly sprouted in his mind during that moment of misery and he found himself embracing the idea as if it’s the best solution to his problem.

 Because leaving his house in the middle of dawn and taking a bus to the other side of the town just so he could finally apologize to Jinyoung seemed like a really good idea.

 Finding courage in the dull anxiety that the lack of sleep caused in his system, Jaebum picked up his cellphone, keys and pair of sneakers and then bolted out the front door. He’d be putting an end to that tonight.

 

 The other side of the town was a place Jaebum’s never been to, therefore it took him good one and a half hour to reach Jinyoung’s home. He still remembers when the guy had casually told him his address some time ago, as they both lied in bed with their legs entangled under the sheets. Jinyoung had written it on a note in Jaebum’s phone and simply explained that it’s only fair that he knew where Jinyoung lived too, even though Jaebum had never demanded of him such information.

 It’s a good thing Jaebum still had that note saved, although it didn’t really stop him from getting lost searching for the right numeration on the many buildings spread about. Nevertheless, he ended up finding the right place and hurried up the few steps that led to an honestly beautiful wooden doorway. It surely looked better than the one of his building.

 From there, it didn’t take long for Jaebum to be standing before Jinyoung’s door, scrutinizing the medium 22 hung high on the flat surface. He took a deep breath, raking slight trembling fingers through his moist hair--the mist of early morning would more than certainly give him another flu later on--and then curled them into a fist to pound it against the door a few times.

 There’s silence for the first few moments, but then a faint commotion followed by barely hearable footsteps echoed from the inside. Jaebum’s breath caught, and suddenly he was hesitant and insecure all over again.

 What the hell was he going to say when Jinyoung opened the door? He should’ve thought this beforehand. And what if Jinyoung outright kicked him out of there as soon as he saw him standing there, closing the door to his face? He shouldn’t have come.

 But he did, and the muted noises coming from the inside were way closer now, the distinguishable sound of a key already turning on a lock sending nervous chills down his spine. There’s no coming back now, and Jaebum gulped around the lump in his throat when the doorknob turned and the door was being suddenly pulled open.

 If Jaebum weren’t being consumed by nerves right then, he’d have cooed at Jinyoung’s overall appearance and then laughed at the look that crossed Jinyoung’s handsome face when those slight narrowed eyes finally recognized him past the cloud of sleep.

 Jinyoung was barefoot, wearing checkered pajamas and an almost comical expression that englobed equal amounts of astonishment, incredulity and scandalization. His hair was in such disarray that mostly of that cute mane stood all to one side, heavily marked by the pillow. Jaebum’s fingers itched to reach for it, but he held back.

 They stared back and forth for what felt like an eternity, unable to tear their eyes away from each other. Jaebum’s heart raced inside his chest, and it strangely felt like he’s gonna start panting anytime now, but before he could free himself out of that trance, Jinyoung did it first.

 Hints of sleep still brushed a few lines onto his bewildered expression, making him look adorably sleepy-grumpy and unarguably curious at the same time. When he spoke, his voice came out gruffy but surprisingly even. “What are you doing in here?”

 Jaebum truthfully tried to think before answering that, but he’s been in such a hurricane of emotions for the past month that his mouth beat the filter in his brain to it. And so, standing on Jinyoung’s doorway, Jaebum blurted, “I love you!”

 The heavy silence that instantly fell on the corridor spoke louder than any of them. Jaebum’s confession rang in both their ears, ricocheting in every nerve-ending of their bodies until they’re mirroring each other’s startled demeanors. _Shit._ That wasn’t how things were supposed to happen.

 Jaebum’s been aware of his feelings for Jinyoung for quite a while, and that confession has been one of the truest and most heartfelt ones he’s ever done in his life, but it wasn’t supposed to come out like that--much less in such situation. That wasn’t how he’d imagined himself revealing his feelings to Jinyoung, and he’s sure that that wasn’t how Jinyoung was expecting to hear it either. Jaebum felt like crying in mortification.

 And to make things worse, Jinyoung still had the nerve to ask, “What?”

 Jaebum would’ve noticed the amusement that coated Jinyoung’s question then if he weren’t so busy panicking and blushing furiously at the whole thing. But he was, and his widened eyes kept looking everywhere that wasn’t Jinyoung’s face for the moment, so he also missed the way the guy was trying to suppress a crooked grin.

 Unaware of it all, Jaebum just panicked--and embarrassed himself--further. “Fuck, it wasn’t supposed to come out like that, I’m- hey, can I come in? We need to talk. I have something important to tell you.”

“More important than ‘I love you’?” Jinyoung shot back, mischievous and teasing like usual, and this time it’s impossible for Jaebum to miss it. Snapping his head up and almost giving himself a stiff neck, he finally watched the other’s face and got surprised by the amount of softness he saw in there. His breath hitched.

 Jinyoung was looking at him with _that_ look; the one that made him feel special and so, so loved it left his skin tingling and his legs feeling weak. It felt so indescribably good to have Jinyoung looking at him that way again, Jaebum felt the prickle of tears burning the back of his eyes. It’s like he’s been underwater all the time they’ve been separated and only now he could breathe again. He gladly took a deep breath.

“That’s-” Jaebum tried to come up with something when he managed to speak again, but it abruptly died in his throat the moment he saw Jinyoung stepping aside and opening the door wider for him. 

 Jinyoung still had that lopsided smile canting his lips upwards. It suited him like nothing else. “Shut up. Come in, I’ll fetch you a towel.”

 Jaebum unconsciously reached for his own hair at that, noticing how the strands were still humid from the weather. The rest of him should be in a similar state, but it hadn’t mattered enough to catch his attention up until now. And still, it wasn’t that important. Jinyoung inviting him into his apartment was.

 And damn, wasn’t that a very nice apartment.

 It looked like the complete opposite of his own, all clean and sophisticated with white walls and light wooden flooring. The decor was given in a fancy monochrome of black and white; whereas the furniture was mostly white and pale silver, the couple of pillows on the couch, paintings on the wall and even the glass surface of the small center table were all tinted black and steel-gray.

 The charm points were the few hints of color that could be seen around the room--a few flower pots here and there, some souvenirs that were so rich in warm colors that they stood out among the rest but that strangely reminded Jinyoung in some way, the small collection of books he kept on a narrow shelf by the couch--and they really gave a somewhat homey feeling to the ambient.

 The only thing in that place Jaebum could relate to his own was the space, since both were really compact and lacked divisions for rooms. The living room blended with the main room that blended with the kitchen. All in one. Curiously, that kinda gave Jaebum a reassuring feeling he didn’t know he needed.

 Jaebum stood awkwardly in the middle of where the living room met the small kitchen as Jinyoung disappeared around a corner that Jaebum assumed to lead to the bathroom. Once the agitation from before subsided a bit, he started to get cold. It indeed has been chilly outside.

“Here, you can use this one.” Jinyoung came back with a large towel and handed it to Jaebum, who took it without a word and automatically started to rub his hair dry. “Should I lend you some dryer clothes too?”

 Jaebum was shaking his head even before Jinyoung finished speaking. “No, that’s fine. Mine are just cold.”

 Jinyoung just nodded, watching him as he proceeded to pat his face with the towel. Their eyes met when Jaebum glanced from over the fluffy cloth, and the intensity he saw twinkling in those slight narrowed ones made his breath falter. No one commented on it, but the tension building around them was becoming almost palpable as Jaebum gingerly handed Jinyoung the towel back and their fingers brushed for one second.

“So?” Jinyoung prompted after a while, placing the towel on top of the center table beside them. It looked so out of place within the impeccably organized room that Jaebum almost picked it up again to fold it or something. Almost.

 Instead, he cleared his throat and faced the other man with way less confidence than he’s letting on. “I have to tell you something.”

“I know. You already told me that at the door.” Jinyoung jabbed softly. “What is it?”

 Jaebum considered maybe talking about the apartment decor just to buy himself some time, but the voice of reason inside his head advised him to just go straight to the point and rip it off like a band-aid. They’ve beat around the bush for enough time already.

 Holding onto that resolve, Jaebum clenched his fists and inhaled deeply. “I want you to know that it’s really hard for me to be doing this—finally opening up, I mean.” He started. “I’ve never been completely honest with nobody in my life before, never let anyone in to this extent. But then you came, and everything started to change so fast I got scared and pushed you away, all because it felt so easy to be honest with you and, and to be comfortable around you, that I began to dread the day I’d accidently show you an ugly side of me and scare you away.”

“You don’t have to protect me from any part of you, Jaebum.” Jinyoung frowned as if the mere idea of Jaebum thinking like that offended him. “You don’t have to hide yourself from me. You didn’t have to.”

“It just seemed better—safer—to push you away before you willingly left me, and so I did. It’s selfless and inconsiderate. I’m sorry for putting my insecurity before your feelings. It’s wrong of me to do so. You didn’t deserve it.” Jaebum paused to swallow as if there were a lump in his throat, feeling it clog up with guilt and regret.

 Jinyoung said nothing, and just patiently waited for Jaebum to regain his breath and continue. There’s this shift in his posture, however, that hinted at how hard he’s trying to keep himself from reaching out and taking Jaebum into his arms. Jaebum appreciated it. He wanted to make use of this boost of courage that surged through him and tell everything that he’s been keeping in his heart all this time while it lasted.

 Taking another deep, shaky breath, Jaebum spoke up again. “I have many flaws, Jinyoung. Not being able to talk about my feelings definitely is one of them, but sudden outbursts of anger and mood swings are great deals too.”

“I had kinda figured those already.” Jinyoung commented with a sympathetic smile. Jaebum wrinkled his nose while puckering his lips, and that expression alone was the perfect embodiment of a whine. Jinyoung huffed a laugh then, eyes wrinkling around the corners. Oh, how Jaebum’s missed seeing those.

“That day we fought, I’d woken up with the wrong foot and I just wanted to be left alone, y’know? I’m not used to having someone I can count with in those kinda moments, so when you arrived and kept pushing me to speak, I… that irritated me even more.” Jaebum grimaced further at the unpleasant memory. “None of that was your fault, though, and none of the things I said were meant to. I guess I’m just the worst at allowing people to get close to me.”

 Daring to take one step closer, Jaebum approached Jinyoung slowly. The myriad of emotions that swum in those nearly back irises made his heart flutter, and before he noticed it he was already touching one of Jinyoung’s cheeks with all the delicacy and care in the world. Jaebum broke into the softest smile when Jinyoung automatically leaned onto his hold.

“But I want to make it a point that I never, _never_ used you for anything. The time we spent together in my apartment—those were the most sincere moments I’ve ever shared with someone else. Everything I said, everything I did; that was real. My feelings for you, Jinyoung, they’re real.”

 It’s endearing how the top of Jinyoung’s ears would turn a deep shade of red even before his cheeks had started to blush whenever he’s feeling shy. Jaebum loved it so much he couldn’t stop his hand from sliding across the cheek to reach for one of them, his other hand following suit and doing the same on the other ear. Jinyoung ducked his head, looking away from Jaebum’s steady gaze and blushing harder.

 Jaebum rubbed the slope of Jinyoung’s red ears between his thumbs and forefingers, caressing the burning hot flesh before letting them go to hold onto the guy’s jaws instead, gently coaxing Jinyoung’s head back up. When their eyes met again, he whispered, “So, don’t ever say something like ‘I thought you liked me’ in that context ever again. And don’t let me let you walk away without convincing you of the contrary, either.”

“You said I didn’t have to keep coming, and that it wasn’t like I lived in there or something.” Jinyoung mumbled as if that alone justified the things Jaebum was pointing out. They did, but Jaebum only nodded and shushed him with the pad of one thumb brushing over those pouty lips before they could walk down that road.

“I know, I know, and I’m so sorry for that. I didn’t mean any of that, I swear.” When Jinyoung just pouted further, lips pushing against his thumb, he chuckled helplessly. One moment later, and he was back to looking at Jinyoung impossibly serious. Jinyoung stopped pouting and slowly grew more serious too, doe eyes wide and anticipating.

“I wasn’t bearing with you for the sake of my project. I wholeheartedly like your company, and I love you a little bit more every fucking day. You’ve become my best friend, and you’re the only person I trust enough to be saying all of this face to face.” Jaebum confessed, voice rough. “I’m sorry I hurt you and led you to get the wrong idea before. I’m the worst when it comes to talk about my feelings, but they’re all sincere when it comes to you.”

 They shared a silence that wasn’t filled with tense energy but with mutual understanding and reciprocated feelings instead. It felt liberating to tell Jinyoung all about his heart’s content for once, way better than breaking statues on walls or picking up fights where they weren’t needed. Jaebum felt completely at ease for the first time in a long while.

 Jinyoung was nodding in understanding now, biting onto his bottom lip to prevent a way too wide grin to break through, but he still ended up smiling, nonetheless. Jaebum’s hands traveled down Jinyoung’s sides to circle his waist, fingers splaying over the small of his back, and Jinyoung pulled him closer.

 The tip of their noses touched, and Jaebum shivered when Jinyoung’s warm breath fanned across his top lip. “Now what, should we kiss and make up?” The guy uttered, playful and lazy, and Jaebum picked up the reference of that day in the pub right away.

 Differently from before, though, Jaebum didn’t panic or try to run away this time. He stood right where he was, right where he belonged. Pressing their bodies even closer, letting their parted mouths brush slightly. And then, with an affected grunt, he answered, “Yes, please.”

 Jinyoung smirked and angled his face better, closing the last few inches between them and meeting Jaebum’s awaiting lips halfway. Neither of them closed their eyes at first, looking down at their mouths aligning and pressing together as far as their position allowed. When they leaned back to angle their heads the other way, their half-lidded gazes would meet for the briefest second, and then they’re back to watching how their smiling lips would seek and nest inside each other over and over again.

 It’s slow and sensual, small nibbles and sighs exchanged in between, and before Jaebum noticed it, he’s being guided through the room towards the queen-size bed pushed to the wall. He didn’t put up a resistance to that, but he did let go of Jinyoung’s lips to mumble a curse against them when he felt his calf knocking against the side of the center table.

 They clumsily stumbled back, Jinyoung holding them both straight while _shhh-_ ing back in tries to both sooth and distract Jaebum from the accident. It worked quite alright, because the next second Jaebum was already grabbing at Jinyoung’s hips again and walking him back to where the bed was supposed to be, mouth unforgiving and hungry as the kiss gradually became hotter.

 When Jaebum thumped the front of his shoes against the end of the bed, he headily sucked on Jinyoung’s tongue and then pulled away to steer him onto it. Jinyoung panted as he got laid down, fumbling with the many pillows and already rumpled sheets until he managed to make some room for Jaebum to follow and hover over him in there.

“I love you too.” Jinyoung blurted in a huff when his back pressed fully against the mattress, chest still heaving and lips shining red. Jaebum caught his breath, stunned into silence and with his heart racing inside his ribcage. That’s something he wasn’t expecting to hear right in that moment, but it made every nerve-ending in his body to sparkle with joy. He grinned stupidly, looking down at Jinyoung as if he wasn’t real.

 Jinyoung chuckled weakly then, grabbing the back of Jaebum’s neck and pulling him down for another kiss. Their mouths moved in messy sync, wet tongues exploring and teeth this close to clashing, but as soon as they came up for air again, Jinyoung added in a whisper, “I kinda always have.”

 There were no words to describe the feeling of having Jinyoung’s confession and warmth intoxicating him again, so Jaebum just made a small sound in the back of his throat (that sounded pretty much like a whimper) and kissed the man for the nth time.

 Jaebum kneeled on top of Jinyoung when the guy shuffled further up the bed, thighs pressing against the inside of Jinyoung’s, spreading them apart. Jinyoung bent both legs and tried to entangle his ankles with Jaebum’s calves, but the position put too much strain on his muscles so he gave up, planting his heels on the mattress instead. It felt right how effortlessly their bodies curled into each other, familiar yet still so new it’s thrilling.

 Jinyoung was guiding the kiss, thumb keeping Jaebum’s jaw in the right angle as he licked into his mouth, occasionally nipping on whichever part of his already swollen lips he could reach. Jaebum realized he didn’t mind it one bit, moaning low instead of trying to fight back for dominance. It’s really fucking hot when Jinyoung was in control, anyway.

 Eventually, Jaebum pulled away to pant for air, staying close enough so their gaping mouths would brush teasingly with each intake of breath. Jinyoung turned his head to peck lazily at the corner of Jaebum’s mouth then, and Jaebum nosed along his flushed cheek, breathing him in, before letting his head hang to bury his face where Jinyoung’s neck meet shoulder.

 Jinyoung sighed when he felt Jaebum’s forearms snaking around his middle to squeeze in between the mattress and his back, hugging him even in that position. He waited for what’s to follow, but when a few moments passed without any other action, Jinyoung squirmed a bit and caressed the baby hair by Jaebum’s nape to catch his attention. After a heartbeat, he called, voice shaky. “Jaebum?”

“Let’s just stay like this a little longer.” Jaebum mumbled against his skin. It’s so warm and so soft, an inebriating smell of some floral soap and Jinyoung’s natural perfume lingering. With a suffering groan, Jaebum hugged the other tighter. “Hell, how I missed you. You can’t even imagine.”

 Underneath, Jaebum could feel the rumble of Jinyoung’s chuckling alongside the rapidly beating of his heart, all reverberating through their pressed bodies. Jinyoung craned his neck and kissed the side of Jaebum’s head the best he could within the angle, fingers still massaging the other’s nape.

“I definitely can, my dear man. It’s you who have no idea how hard it was for me to keep avoiding you during classes and at the campus.” Jinyoung snorted, trying to make it lighter, but it sounded sad anyway. “I was trying to give you some space. And I was mad as shit too.”

“And hurt.” Jaebum supplied after having leaned back again to catch the guy’s expression.

“And hurt.” Jinyoung repeated, confessed. There was a bland smile lifting the corners of his mouth upwards as he pressed his chin to his chest in tries of seeing Jaebum’s eyes better.

 Jaebum bit his lip, frowning seriously. “I can’t promise I won’t wake up with the wrong foot and unlash on you again, Jinyoung. There will be more days like these in the future, because it’s just how it’s like to live together and share a life.” His frown deepened in determination, eyes unwavering. “But I promise I’ll make everything in my power for them to be as scarce as possible. We’ll deal with them together, how’s that?”

 There’s this look brightening up Jinyoung’s eyes now that reminded Jaebum of when they first kissed. It’s surprised, as if caught off guard, and so full of adore and honest hope that it pulled strings on his heart. The amount of adore in it was bigger than before though, unabashed love and trust going into the mix as well, and that was enough to shoo all Jaebum’s worries away.

 Jaebum’s sure he’s looking back at Jinyoung just as smitten right in that moment; open, vulnerable. It eased something in his chest, the realization that when it came to the other, being honest didn’t scare him anymore.

 Jinyoung stared at him for a moment, and then there’s yet another one of those moments where words weren’t needed, where everything that needed to be said was already explicit in the intensity of their gazes. Jinyoung started to smile slowly. He understood.

“It sounds fun.” The guy answered, trying to bite the grin off his lips and failing cutely at it. Mischief etched his features as he tipped his head back, looking cocky but incredibly fulfilled. “Does that mean we’ll be living together now? Sharing a life?”

 Even though his cheeks flushed as Jinyoung threw his own words back at him with that much teasing, Jaebum did his best not to look away. Instead, he leaned in and molded his lips to Jinyoung’s, moving them languidly and painfully sensual before leaving the both of them breathless thereafter.

 Jinyoung was still trying to recover from the kiss when Jaebum whispered, “Only if you want it too”. To which he almost automatically replied in a breathless, way too eager gasp. “I do.”

“Do you?” Jaebum chaffed, diving in to playfully nibble on Jinyoung’s earlobe only to get him to squirm again. Jinyoung’s breath caught as he hummed his agreement. It worked. “So do you forgive me for being an _asshole_?”

“Mmm, almost. I guess I have to be persuaded a little bit more, though…” Jinyoung quipped back, smirking when Jaebum groaned dangerously low against his ear, hips rolling subtly and pressing Jinyoung’s harder onto the mattress.

“I can be really persuading, in case you didn’t know.” Jaebum purred, moving his hips sharper this time, and then gasped at the marvelous feeling of his sweatpants dragging on the material of Jinyoung’s thin sleeping pants. They both were hard.

“Ah, yeah?” Jinyoung licked his lips, voice gone lower and full of gravel. The teasing smirk was nowhere to be seen as he pawed at Jaebum’s upper clothing as if he’s had enough of it already.

 Jaebum shoved up and tugged at his shirt with both hands, fluidly yanking it over his head and throwing it aside. Sitting back on his heels while still kneeling in between Jinyoung’s legs, Jaebum looked down at him with a sultriness that should be forbidden. Through heavy eyelids and with his breaths coming harder, he rasped, “Yes.”

 In the bright lighting of Jinyoung’s apartment, Jaebum’s body could be seen way better than while back at the man’s place, and the highly defined sight of all those muscles rippling in that broad chest and torso elicited a whiny moan from Jinyoung. Jaebum felt his entire body thrum and burn under the appreciation.

 Jinyoung ran one of his hands up Jaebum’s chest and then down, the other coming to rest by his narrow waist if only to keep him grounded there. Jaebum fought to regulate his breathing, but it still hitched when the pad of Jinyoung’s thumb brushed against one hard nipple. Growling at the teasing, he grabbed that hand and pinned it down by the wrist right beside Jinyoung’s head, getting to his hands and knees next.

 Jaebum stretched out over him again, eyes never leaving Jinyoung’s, and keened when blunt nails dragged across his waist to the expanse of his abdomen, the touch of Jinyoung’s free hand leaving goosebumps to race across his heated skin. Jaebum eventually pinned that one down too. Jinyoung grinned despite himself.

“You’re so freaking hot,” The guy blurted, and Jaebum had only so much time to react before Jinyoung was craning his neck to reach his mouth, kissing it with such fervor his lips paled for a moment before flushing impossibly red again. To say he felt lightheaded was an understatement.

 In retaliation, Jaebum made and effort to stop their kissing and duck down to bite on the very sensitive part of Jinyoung’s neck, earning a gasp in response to the hickey he started sucking there. And just like a painting, he kept spreading dark-red blemishes allover the fair skin, taking pride in how the man underneath him would writhe and cuss at every love bite.

 Jinyoung kept using his leverage on the bed to thrust his hips against Jaebum’s, rubbing their erections together the best he could while weakly trying to pull his wrists free--the sweetest automatic reaction to the pleasure that spiked through him.

 Jinyoung’s pulse raced against Jaebum’s lips, and the small grunts that left his mouth vibrated on his tongue as it lapped at the bruises. Jaebum’s cock pulsated inside his sweats, pleading him to hurry things up, and by the hard bulge he felt rubbing on it over and over, Jinyoung’s did too.

 Therefore, he finished marking Jinyoung’s collarbone and then released his hands just so he could help the man into getting himself naked. It didn’t take long for the two pieces of that checkered pajamas to join Jaebum’s shirt somewhere on the floor.

“Tomorrow’s the presentation.” It’s Jinyoung the one to suddenly remind them both of their important schedule on the next day, urgent hands fumbling to get a grasp on the waistband of Jaebum’s sweatpants and push them down, nevertheless.

“Yeah.” Jaebum breathed. He helped the other to undress him by leaning onto his elbows, kicking the pants all the way off his legs as soon as they somehow managed to shove it past his thighs. Their boxes went off in the minute that followed this.

“And it’s odd hours at dawn already,” Jinyoung sighed when Jaebum lowered on him again, this time having swung his toned legs over Jinyoung’s and straddled his hips instead. Jaebum’s just mounted him. Jinyoung started trembling.

“Fuck it.” It’s all Jaebum said before flashing him an excited smirk. Jinyoung had a hard time trying to decide whether Jaebum was talking about them being late for their presentation or his ass. Both sounded appealing enough.

 Jinyoung didn’t continue on that line of conversation, letting the subject drop as he pulled Jaebum down for another kiss, which the other readily obliged. Their tongues slid together, tasting and getting tasted. Jaebum slowly rocked his hips and Jinyoung hummed in approval, their dicks finally grinding without any clothes in the way.

 Jinyoung swept one hand down the sinuous curve of Jaebum’s back until fingertips met the crack of his ass, flat palm pressing against the lumbar so the friction would be even hotter when Jaebum repeated the movement. It worked just like that, and they both moaned with their mouths connected.

 Sweat gathered on Jaebum’s temples, body thrumming with heat. It’s getting harder to think clearly by each second, mind closing and shortcutting with arousal, but he still distantly felt the hand Jinyoung had on his nape moving away, and then there’s this characteristic sound of it knocking a few things out the bedside table until it managed to open the drawer and rummage it blindly.

 Before Jaebum could comprehend what that meant, the hand was back with something cold and seemingly oval that nearly made him jump when it touched the side of his thigh. Pulling away, Jaebum hissed and turned around to glare at it, a wild shiver reverberating through him when he recognized the collapsible tube Jinyoung held loosely between his fingers.

 There’s a burning look crackling in Jinyoung’s eyes when Jaebum met them again. Jaebum licked his lips, pushing up slightly just so he could take the tube from the other’s hand and start fumbling with it himself. Jinyoung smiled and closed his eyes while trying to regain his breath.

 Jaebum filled one hand with lubricant--generously--and then dropped the aluminum package back on the bed. Shoving his coated palm between their bodies, he boldly took Jinyoung in hand and started to stroke him languidly, covering his cock in lube. Jinyoung whimpered, hips immediately thrusting into the tight warmth Jaebum’s fist created.

“Is it good?” Jaebum whispered, breathing against Jinyoung’s trembling lips. The only reply he got was a shaky nod of head, but it’s enough to rub him the right way. He tugged a few more times, smearing it over the head and pressing one thumb against the slit before retreating his hand entirely. The way Jinyoung almost kicked him for stopping made him laugh hoarsely.

 When Jaebum crawled a few inches up and aligned his bottom with Jinyoung’s dick, though, it’s the other who made him stop altogether. “Wait.” He gasped, hand shooting up to hold Jaebum by the hipbone. Jaebum frowned slightly, asking a question through his suddenly hesitant eyes. Jinyoung licked his lips. “No condom?”

 Jaebum’s lower abdomen flipped with arousal. He’s been so eager about becoming one with Jinyoung that he’d even forgotten about that little detail. Protection was always important, but the thought of having Jinyoung pushing into him without any cover, just sensitive skin to sensitive skin, posed so tempting to him that he found himself grunting low in his throat. “Do we really need them?”

 There was a short pause in which they simply looked back and forth, the air practically frizzling around them. And then, with a trusting look that knocked the air off of Jaebum’s lungs, Jinyoung bit on his lips. “I trust you if you say we don’t.”

 Jaebum knew what he meant, and that mutual understanding they’re starting to develop and round out must be the best thing to ever happen to them. He’s clean, and by what Jinyoung said, he did too. Jaebum trusted him just as much as to believe in him right away.

 It’s doing horrible things to his heart, how fast he was to fall for Jinyoung over and over again. That thought of how his heart didn’t belong to him anymore and belonged to Jinyoung instead suddenly came back, and with a soothing wave of feelings, he realized it’s all truth.

 Wanting to say more than words would ever be able to express, Jaebum felt choked up. A moment later, he was leaning in while reaching behind himself to take hold of Jinyoung’s dick again. “We don’t.” Jinyoung took a sharp breath, but allowed the other to guide him up.

 The slick head slid between Jaebum’s ass cheeks easily and Jinyoung moaned, throwing his arms around Jaebum’s broad shoulders to crush him in a nearly desperate hug. Jaebum pushed back, moving his hips until the shaft was pressing snugly over his buttcrack. The thrusts started soon after, none penetrative yet but causing enough friction to rip off the sweetest sounds from Jaebum.

“This is so hot.” Jaebum snarled, biting down on Jinyoung’s shoulder and dragging his teeth along the sweaty skin. The crown of Jinyoung’s cock rubbed over his entrance for a few messy trusts, pushing at the tight ring of muscles teasingly. A wanton moan rumbled in each of their throats. “I can feel you throbbing. I want to feel you in me too--inside of me. Fucking me.”

 Jinyoung made a dying noise, trying to slow down Jaebum’s near bouncing but still patting across the bed in search of the lube they discarded somewhere. “I think I should prep you first,” He gasped, choking on the words.

“I can take it.” Jaebum protested with a whine, impatient. Bottoming wasn’t something Jaebum did often--practically never, to be honest--but, he had his fair share of teasing himself with two or three fingers, so it wasn’t like Jinyoung was gonna wreak him if they did it mild-raw.

 The thought of Jinyoung wreaking him got his throbbing dick weeping over the guy’s stomach, though. That didn’t sound like something bad at all. They definitely could try going raw in the future. Jaebum shivered.

 However, Jinyoung still had that glint of hesitance clouding his gaze when he said, “I don’t doubt that, but this will hurt if you’re not relaxed enough.”

“Just put in more lube, it’s gonna be fine.”

“Jaebum…” Jinyoung scolded softly, and Jaebum had to count up to three not to just pin the man down and do the deed himself. He wanted Jinyoung so badly he was almost crying out for the guy to just make love to him all night long.

 But, Jaebum appreciated so much the selfless care he’s being treated with even in a moment like this, and the amount of affection it held, that he couldn’t find it in him to really go against anything Jinyoung proposed. If prepping him was what Jinyoung wanted, then Jaebum was down to oblige. Even though it meant he’d have to spend a couple of minutes more being tormented by more pleasure.

 Pouting and huffing a breath, Jaebum relented. “Fine. Just a little bit.” The look of utter love and ecstasy that took over Jinyoung’s expression then was definitely worth it.

 Jinyoung bit on a grin, hands already working on the tube he’s found while Jaebum debated with himself. “Just a little bit.” He promised, picking the other’s hand and squeezing more lube on it. With a gracious nod of head, he motioned for Jaebum to go ahead. Jaebum resisted only so much before finally guiding his dripping fingers back.

 For a moment, Jaebum thought he’d be the one to work himself open and so he tried to control his breathing not to seem too eager or fuck himself too crudely, but as soon as he smeared all the lube over his rim, Jinyoung swatted his hand away and took matters into his own.

 And when Jaebum’s eyes rolled back into his head at the marvelous sensation of Jinyoung’s finger breaching past his entrance, that’s when he realized that well, maybe that hasn’t been a bad idea at all.

“ _Fucking shit._ ” He grunted, pushing back onto the finger. Jinyoung laughed quietly, breathless himself, and then focused all his attention on gently coaxing the ring of muscles looser and sloppier by thrusting his slick digit in and out.

 Mercifully, Jinyoung didn’t spend long in prepping him--those pretty and incredibly skillful fingers doing the job amazingly well--but, to Jaebum, it still felt like he’s been riding a rollercoaster for hours and adrenaline pumped high in his veins. It felt like too much and not enough way too often, like he’s been pushed to the edge only to be yanked back right away, and the amount of juice that has been leaking from Jaebum’s dick as it slid over Jinyoung’s belly really should be kinda gross.

 Jaebum didn’t know why he found it so hot instead, but he did. And by the way Jinyoung couldn’t stop whining and breathing shakily while watching that mess becoming even slicker with each passing second, he did find it pretty hot too.

 After close to six minutes and at least almost two orgasms later, Jaebum was begging and threatening to break Jinyoung’s freaking arm if he didn’t fuck him right then. Jinyoung had the nerve to smirk, sweeping forward to cage Jaebum’s bottom lip between his teeth and pull at it hard, but the three fingers he’s been thrusting in and out for the past few minutes finally left.

 Jinyoung’s intentions were very clear, still, Jaebum tried to allow himself to be distracted by the open-mouthed kisses that were given allover his neck and collarbone while Jinyoung guided himself inside. It worked for the part where his brain was way too clouded by lust to care, but when the blunt head breached the rim, he couldn’t help the uncomfortable grunt that came out through his teeth.

“Relax, _babe_ , you gotta relax,” Jinyoung soothed, but there’s this strain to his voice that made Jaebum squirm. The movement caused Jinyoung to sink further in, and they both gasped at the sensation of the lube easing the slide.

 Jaebum gripped at Jinyoung’s biceps harder, knowing for a fact that the electrifying rattle that shot through him was due to that pet name instead of how the stretch burned at first. Oh, how he loved when Jinyoung went all sweet on him and started calling him like that. It always left his heart in trouble for how fast it beat.

“Yeah, just like that.” He heard Jinyoung breathe out next, hands gentle wherever they touched as they roamed over his feverish skin, and that’s when he noticed how he’s slowly starting to relax enough for the other to move. Jinyoung started to pull out carefully, rocking back in the next second and reaching deeper than before, and then it didn’t last long until they were building a slow and teasing rhythm.

 The stretch was subduing to a smoldering throb now that Jaebum was losing himself to the hidden pleasure in it. The discomfort was still present, but it didn’t equate to the actual satisfaction and pure delight that was having Jinyoung moaning underneath him (with his eyebrows furrowed and flushed skin glistening with sweat), overwhelmed by the tight heat around him.

 It punched a desperate moan out of Jaebum as well, just how much he could make Jinyoung feel good only by squeezing around him. And having that hard cock pressing against his walls was beyond fantastic. Drunk and empowered by that concept and the meek noises Jinyoung kept trying to hold in, Jaebum pushed back to meet the other’s shallow thrusts with a hungry tilt to it.

“God, Jaebum.” Jinyoung groaned, mouth breaking into a full-blown grin. His arms snaked around Jaebum’s waist, holding him close just so he could snap up into him with more force, fucking him slowly but surely with heels planting on the bed for better leverage.

 Jaebum yelped when he bounced on Jinyoung’s lap once, propelled up and down by the movements of the guy’s body, and when Jinyoung’s cock hit a new angle inside of him, stars blinked behind his eyelids for a moment. “You feel good there.” He drawled, shivering.

“Yeah?” Jinyoung hit it again and Jaebum desperately sought his mouth to try muffling his sob onto another kiss. They kissed messily while their bodies pounded together. Jinyoung mewled when Jaebum squeezed around him over and over, mouth going slack. “Your ass feels really fucking good too.”

 They both chuckled lazily, shared another sweet peck on the lips, and then Jaebum made an effort to push up on his arms and stand fully seated on the guy’s lap. His palms splayed over Jinyoung’s chest, felt the strong heartbeat going off underneath. The thrusts ceased for one second, and they just stared back and forth without a word.

 Everything seemed to have stopped around them; time and space going still to watch as they proffered their undying love for one another through their eyes. It lasted only one instant, but it felt like an eternity. They smiled.

 Jaebum took the hand Jinyoung had on one of his thighs and twined their fingers, pressing it back down right on top of Jinyoung’s heart. He started to move his hips again as Jinyoung’s heartbeat echoed on their joint palms. They made love with Jaebum guiding the rhythm for how much more it lasted, enjoying each other to the best and maximum of their capacity.

 When Jaebum’s toes curled and he found himself grunting through one of the most powerful orgasms he’s ever had (all of those being Jinyoung’s courtesy), he made sure to let himself sink harder and sharper on Jinyoung’s throbbing dick, their slick skins slapping deliciously for a few seconds as Jinyoung met every thrust with the same intensity right away. Jinyoung shouted in ecstasy and emptied himself in him in no time.

 By the time Jaebum felt his mind clearing and his body stop spasming, Jinyoung was kissing his temple and holding his spent limbs close to his own. Cum slid down his ass, coating Jinyoung’s softening dick as he kept pushing deep and pulling out in a much slower pace, almost sleepily and still slight out of it. They rocked together as if they were kissing. It felt so intimate Jaebum couldn’t stop trembling.

 Eventually, they both felt too sensitive and so they stopped moving, but Jaebum refused to let Jinyoung pull out of him just yet. Therefore, they just stood there, lying together, for a while more.

“You didn’t even touch your dick.” Jinyoung suddenly blurted as an afterthought, fingers carding through Jaebum’s damp hair. There was so much sentiment in his voice it’s hard to identify each of them, but there certainly had some great amount of admiration and amusement in it. “Not even once.”

 Jaebum hummed, contemplatively. With how wonderful Jinyoung’s was working inside of him, he hadn’t found the need to touch himself. The thought that he’d come just from the feel of Jinyoung’s dick hard and pulsing as it rammed on his prostate was enough to turn his flushed face even redder. That’s nice.

 Rolling to the side and bringing Jinyoung with him, Jaebum huffed out a whine. “Yours did all the work, anyway.” He shot back, rotating his hips teasingly.

 Jinyoung licked his lips, brow furrowing before he started giggling, hugging the other close again just so he would stop moving so much. His eyes twinkled. “I love you.”

 Jaebum couldn’t help the blinding smile that made it to his swollen lips. Jinyoung was looking at him as if he’s the best thing to ever happen to him, and Jaebum could tell for sure that the feeling was reciprocated. He loved him too. And only him.

 They had a second round not much after that, what impressed them both with their respective fast recoveries. That night, Jaebum crashed on Jinyoung’s apartment for the first time, disregarding the fact that he wouldn’t have any clothes to wear to their presentation at college tomorrow--since they had to be there pretty soon and there wouldn’t be time to come back home to change.

 But, as he spooned Jinyoung to sleep with their legs entangled and bodies pressed close, Jaebum couldn’t really care about anything else. He’s happy; they _both_ were. And honestly, that’s all that mattered.

 


	9. Stones Of Soul

 The first thing Jaebum heard as soon as he recovered consciousness was the snap of a phone’s camera. He frowned drowsily, still too sleepy to give it a damn, and then burrowed his face deeper into the covers. There was a low giggle next, and then the snapping noise filled his ears again.

 Jaebum frowned softly, begrudgingly forcing one eye open. The blinding daylight coming from the windows assaulted his sensitive retinas just as the sight of Jinyoung bathed in a warm glow smiling down at him did to his heart. Jaebum sighed dreamily, hiding his face again.

“What the hell?” He grumbled, but his voice lacked any kind of real frustration. It’d sounded quite fond and affectionate, actually. How much more smitten with Jinyoung could he get, seriously.

 Jinyoung giggled again from his spot on the small couch beside the bed, the sound making Jaebum’s heart flutter. “Good morning.”

“G’Morning.” Jaebum mumbled back, voice hoarse from sleep, hints of a smile on his lips. He looked up again after a moment, and couldn’t help admiring the splendorous way with which the light coming from the outside complimented Jinyoung in any form and meaning of the word. The man just looked like an angel while standing there, turned in his direction with his phone in hand. That didn’t seem real.

 Jaebum’s eyes surveyed the room for a moment, blinking lazily. It looked different from the way it did during the night, kind of more homey and warmer--even though the walls were still too white and the decor, too contrasting. It still fitted Jinyoung oddly right, so that’s okay.

“Your apartment is so nice.” He commented at length. Jinyoung lifted an eyebrow at that, looking around the place himself before coming back to focus his amused gaze on Jaebum. A blush crept up Jaebum’s face, and he cleared his throat while looking away. “All clean and elegant. I guess I didn’t tell you this last night, did I?”

“No, you didn’t.” Jinyoung stood up and shuffled closer, bare feet thudding against the floor. Jaebum turned around until he’d his back flat on the mattress. When Jinyoung leaned over him, both hands by the sides of his face, he reached up to cradle one of Jinyoung’s cheek. They looked back and forth, smiling.

 Jaebum craned his neck to meet Jinyoung halfway. “It’s nice. Very nice.” He whispered. The whiskers on the corners of Jinyoung’s smiling eyes have never looked more beautiful than they did on that time.

 The kiss they shared that morning was sweet and gentle, like a spring breeze. And when they pulled away, it’s with the top row of Jinyoung’s teeth dragging across Jaebum’s bottom lip. It felt right.

 Jinyoung pecked his nose then, and Jaebum grimaced while pushing him off his face, the both of them laughing. Something felt off when Jaebum moved in bed, and so he grimaced again, frowning at the back of Jinyoung’s head as the guy got up to walk away again.

“Why do I feel so gross?” He asked when moved again and the sensation persisted. The answer was there, poking fun at him, but the sleep that still clouded part of his mind turned him oblivious to it.

 That, however, didn’t stop Jinyoung from smirking dangerously while looking back at him over his shoulder. The look on those dark-brown eyes was enough to make something stir in Jaebum’s gut, but it’s the guy’s next words that nearly elicited a moan right out of him. “Probably because there’s dry cum allover your ass and in between your legs, but I wouldn’t know.”

 The perplexity and reasonable mortification Jaebum felt right then must’ve been reflected in his face somehow, because one look at him and Jinyoung was letting out a rich, mischievous laugh that did nothing to subdue the embarrassment that set his whole face on fire. Damned Jinyoung.

“What, you came in me and didn’t even have the decency to clean me up while I slept? I mean, like people do in those romances?” Jaebum spluttered, trying to sound offended on top of everything. Something told him he’d sounded sarcastic and pitifully whining instead. “Woah.”

 Jinyoung came to a halt at those words, staring at Jaebum in shock and amusement both, as if he couldn’t just believe Jaebum was talking that openly and dirtily with him. After one moment or two, he decided on an emotion to feel; Jinyoung looked absurdly, immensely and irrefutably pleased then.

 Sweeping one hand through his long hair, Jinyoung cocked his head to the side. He bit on his lip, fighting against the grin that wanted to surface. It took Jinyoung a while to compose himself, but when he did, Jaebum nearly fainted with the surge of arousal that hit him square in the groin.

“I like the concept of having my load still buried deep in you, slowly dripping out as you move. That’s why.” Jinyoung confessed, voice even but heavy with something that Jaebum was unable to describe. The heat that had assaulted his face before was now all directed to his dick, blood pulsing. Jinyoung licked his lips when noticing that Jaebum was half hard under the thin sheets. “Better now?”

 Jaebum looked away, trying to hide the obvious bulge between his legs by turning fully around on the bed and facing the opposite direction of Jinyoung’s smug face. Curiously enough, it’s only in that moment that he became aware of how he’s still naked on Jinyoung’s bed. While sporting a semi. Again.

 With a groan, he mumbled to the wall, “You’re such a dirty bastard.”

“It isn’t me who is getting hard only by the thought of it, though.” Jinyoung singsonged. There’s a pause, and then he’s snorting while adding, “Well. Maybe a little, but you started it.”

“Shut up, Jinyoung.” Jaebum couldn’t help laughing. There were a few artworks pinned on the wall, and Jaebum recognized Jinyoung’s traces on them right away. The pad of his fingers slid over the paper sheets, delicate and reverently.

 Now that he’s more awake, his brain started to catch up on things faster than it did a few minutes ago, and so it reminded him of his schedule in the second that followed his admiring of Jinyoung’s work. Peeking back over his shoulder, he addressed the other again. “Wait, what time is it?”

 Jinyoung was already rummaging the cabinets in the small kitchen (situated on a corner of the room that was hard for Jaebum to see from his spot) when he answered calmly, “We still have time to take a shower and eat breakfast. The presentation will be only starting in like three hours from now.”

 Three hours didn’t seem like time enough for Jaebum to get his things ready for the presentation. He’d decided that it wouldn’t do any harm to go to college from Jinyoung’s place and even borrow some of his clothes, but he’s forgotten the small detail that his final project was back home and there’s no how he could show up to the even without, well, the main motive of it. That wouldn’t do.

 Jaebum had to go home. And if there’s three hours left for the deadline, he’s already running late.

“I need to go home.” He echoed his thoughts, sitting up on the bed and automatically flinching at the discomfort he felt in his lower half. It still felt pretty much gooey down there too. Shit. “I didn’t bring any clothes.”

“You can borrow some of mine.” Jinyoung rebuked, but Jaebum was already shaking his head and trying to get up without hissing in the process, shooting back a sullen “I have to go pick up my project, too.”

 Jinyoung answered with a disappointed _“Oh”_ before stopping whatever he’s been doing in the kitchen and coming back to the living room area. Something in the kicked-puppy look that Jinyoung had when he came to stand by the couch made Jaebum stop on his tracks, heart clenching and eyes widening slightly at his own body’s reaction to that.

 Apparently, they’d already come to the point where it’d become somewhat physically painful to see Jinyoung disappointed or remotely sad about anything. Jesus Christ.

 Jaebum had to go home and pick up his project for the presentation, but a quick shower and some breakfast shouldn’t take too much of his time, right? And he’s already kinda late, so what were a couple of minutes more? Everything’s gonna be alright.

 Clutching the bedsheets to his front, Jaebum cleared his throat. “I guess… I guess I could take you up on that shower and clothes offer, though. I mean. Maybe the breakfast too if we make it quick, dunno.” He uttered, hating the blush that rose to his cheekbones at the beaming grin he saw forming on Jinyoung’s plump lips. Frowning, he hastily added, “I still have to stop by my apartment later, though.”

 Jinyoung made that annoying face of playful mockery he used to do whenever they bickered in the past--the one that showed exactly how he wasn’t buying Jaebum’s bullshit but wouldn’t lose his time calling him on it. Jaebum felt the urge to punch him. Kiss that smirk away, too.

 Snorting, Jinyoung nodded his head to the other side of the room. “The bathroom is on the left. There are towels in the cabinet.” He said, walking the few steps that separated them and throwing his arms around Jaebum’s broad shoulders, tilting his head and kissing him passionately. Jaebum answered in kind.

 The sheets covering Jaebum’s hips fell to the floor when he brought both hands up to caress Jinyoung’s strong back, fingers pressing onto the shoulder blades. Jinyoung smiled against his mouth.

 The mattress dipped under their weight when he deepened the kiss and pulled Jinyoung closer, their bodies curling around each other as they fell back in bed. It’s Jaebum’s time to smirk.

 They ended up late.

 

 Jaebum knew it’s a must for him to be wearing a formal attire for the presentation, but it did nothing to make him feel better in the dress pants and shirt he’d borrowed from Jinyoung. They weren’t exactly the same size--Jaebum’s shoulders much broader and chest undeniably wider than Jinyoung’s--so everything felt too tight and too restricting for Jaebum’s liking. The buttons of his white t-shirt threatened to burst open at any given moment, and every muscle of his body looked like they’re bulging at the seams. Jaebum hated it.

 Jinyoung, on the contrary, seemed to be enjoying it tremendously. If the intense glances he kept sending his way when thinking no one in the hall was looking was something to go by, that is. Jaebum couldn’t say he hated the attention, though. His skin prickled all over, heating up.

 Since they’d ran late earlier in the morning, Jaebum’s barely gotten the time to pick up his things and rent a moving truck to transport his sculpture to their university site after having rushed back home, so the shower, clean clothes and breakfast he’s taken while in Jinyoung’s apartment have all come in handy.

 It saved him time and allowed him to set everything up and organize his standee in the main building’s hall before the professors started to call out names. Jinyoung arrived in there not much after, doing pretty much the same before joining Jaebum with a relieved smile on his face. The event started a couple of minutes later.

 Since they’re still quite late in comparison with the whole bunch of other students that have probably gotten in there by the sunrise to choose spots and arrange everything, they didn’t manage to get standees next to each other. Jinyoung got one by the beginning of the long fair, and Jaebum, by the far end of it.

 They’d still keep wandering around the hall and ‘visiting’ each other’s spaces every once in a while as their names were yet to be called, so that’s alright. Jaebum had a feeling they were acting like damn teenagers flirting, and the barely concealed smirks Jinyoung kept flashing him only confirmed it.

 Well. Jaebum couldn’t say he hated that either.

 They’ve spent good half an hour making out in bed that morning, and it struck Jaebum like a punch to the stomach how he’s started to crave Jinyoung’s touch at each passing second now. Waking up with Jinyoung smiling down at him, kissing him slowly on his bed, taking a shower and then eating breakfast before going with their schedules; it’d all taken a toll on his self-control.

 Jaebum felt like an addict, stealing glances at Jinyoung in that perfect formal attire he wore to the event and wanting nothing more than walking up to him and claiming his lips, over and over.

 Jinyoung chose that moment to turn his head and look back at him, a somewhat knowing look on his handsome face. Jaebum licked his lips and cleared his throat, looking away. He missed the way Jinyoung bit on a grin while focusing back on whatever he was doing on his standee, but in all honesty, it wasn’t that hard to imagine it.

 Jaebum was pretty much aware of everyone’s eyes boring into his Icarus(Jinyoung) statue as soon as he put it up on display, and although the words of praise he’d get one after the other as the visitors passed by his standee would make his cheeks burn, he could still see the gears turning in some of their heads as they went.

 Sedately, he watched as some would discretely glance at the other end of the fair (in Jinyoung’s direction) for a moment and then come back to the sculpture with some sort of recognition shining on their gazes. One minute or so would pass just like that, and then Jaebum would surprise even himself when he felt pride instead of shame at the stunned yet mild scandalized look he’d get from those who managed to make the connection.

 Smirking lazily, he’d simply cock his head in mocking dare and observe the embarrassed blush that would rise to their faces. Nobody dared to make a comment on it, at least not directly to him, but some would smile back and give him an approving nod of head that spoke louder than words. Jaebum’d snort and look away then, but his heart felt impossibly light.

 The professors had told them during one of their tours around the fair that no one was allowed to leave the site before everyone’s projects have been analyzed. Almost an hour later, and there’s still a lot of works to be seen. Jaebum was losing his mind already.

 The final projects fair wasn’t a huge one, but it took the entire ground and first floor of their university main building for the day. There were many sculptures spread about the hall, all different in appearance but the same in essence. It really looked like an art exhibition of some sorts, just that in a smaller scale. And to grade all of that, man, that took time.

 That didn’t stop many talent-scouts from showing up to meander about the room in search of artists that caught their eyes. Jaebum’s been approached by at least five of them already, and his statue hasn’t even been on display for too long. He felt pretty pleased with himself.

 The first look on the final projects and subsequent presentation was done so in private. The student was supposed to meet a judging commission (their professors and some academic representatives from the town’s art gallery) and explain their artworks and the making process behind them. Their monography was also to be presented to the commission, but a thorough correction and grading of it would still be done so later.

 It usually took about fifteen minutes, each presentation. They’d be told right away if their projects met the course’s expectations or not, and then they’d be allowed to display the work at the fair. It’s simple, but pretty much stressful and consuming. Jaebum had to eat a whole dark chocolate bar to regain the energy he’d lost through nervous sweating after his turn. Everything had gone alright, though, so that’s that.

 Jinyoung had been called to make his own presentation a couple of minutes after Jaebum, and up until then Jaebum hadn’t gotten even a glimpse of the guy’s mysterious work--all because Jinyoung was a prick and made everything in his power to hide it from him, telling him it’s a surprise and that he’d only see it later, that is, if it ever got approved.

 Something told Jaebum Jinyoung’s project would be accepted and enthusiastically clapped at even without having the slightest idea of what it was. The thought made him grin sheepishly. Maybe Jaebum’s gotten a bit biased.

 When Jinyoung finally came back from the classroom the judging commission was evaluating the projects, it’s with a smug arch to his full eyebrows, almost as if he’s both surprised and self-satisfied with what had happened in there. _‘Approved’_ was written all over his forehead.

 Jaebum huffed out a laugh, feeling hot pride filling up each corner of his own body. He expected no less from their ‘art prodigy’, Park Jinyoung. There’s a time when he’d be fuming at that title he often heard their professors using while gushing about Jinyoung and not himself, but the feeling didn’t really strike him the same now. Instead of jealousy, what spiked through him at that was a great sense of overwhelming pride. How the tables turned, huh.

“So,” Jaebum drawled as he stopped by Jinyoung’s standee. Jinyoung had just made his way back from the classroom; the crooked smile tugging at his lips hasn’t worn off yet. “Am I allowed to see your work now?”

 Jinyoung rested his weight against the table, crossing arms in front of his chest. Jaebum tried not to ogle the way they bulged in that striped dress shirt. The way Jinyoung cocked his head with a diverted glint in his dark eyes told him he’d failed, though.

“Alright.” Jinyoung answered at length. Nodding to somewhere over Jaebum’s shoulder, he said, “They’re bringing it out. Hope you like it, Jaebummie.”

 Jaebum raised one eyebrow, automatically turning around to survey the hall in search of the project he expected to attract his attention right away just for being Jinyoung’s. Behind him, Jinyoung added with a small hum, “It’s about you, anyway.”

 Jaebum’s breath stuttered at those words, but before he could whip his head back around and demand answers, he saw _it_. At least four people were bringing the statue out to the fair, and Jaebum distantly recognized them as some of the event’s staff, but the thought didn’t stick. His mind was having trouble processing the artwork alone.

 Motherfucker had sculptured an almost exact replica of _“Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss”_ and made it his final project. That was such a complex and high-level work everyone in the hall stopped to gawk at the magnificence of it for a while, whispering reverent compliments about it to each other and even sighing in awe. Jaebum totally understood the feeling.

 The piece represented the moment in the story where Cupid awakened Psyche from her lifeless state with a kiss, and it showed her reaching up towards her lover as he gently held her by supporting her head and breast. That was the peak of the narrative, a moment of great emotion and tenderness with the re-encounter of the two characters, heavy with characteristics of Romanticism. It’s hard not to feel breathless only by looking at it.

 Jinyoung’s managed to capture even the essence of the sculptor in his carving, contrasting the characters’ smooth skin with the rough texture of the other elements present in the work just like their technique. That was so perfectly based on the original work--every brush of chisel, every polished corner, every effect of dimension and texture--that it’d surely give non-experts a hard time to discern the real from the replica.

 That had to be the best artwork Jaebum’s ever seen; and just like everything Jinyoung did, it reflected his talent and hard work just right. Everything was so effortlessly brilliant and delicate that he felt tears swelling in his eyes. “ _Holy shit_.” He whispered. The dazzled exhale that left his mouth in a tremble next came out unbidden.

 It made Jinyoung look impossibly pleased beside him, brushing their shoulders ever so slightly, so Jaebum didn’t really mind being caught nearly choking up on emotion.

 Jinyoung waited until half the people that were swooning over the marble piece had dispersed around the hall again to lean closer and say against Jaebum’s ear, “Actually, I’d say it’s about us now. I mean, I don’t want to sound sappy, but their love story? That’s some romantic shit. It kinda hits close to our relationship.”

 Jaebum was already shaken enough by that artwork alone, therefore he tried his best not to take Jinyoung’s words to his heart right away. Because he knew Cupid and Psyche’s love story, and how indescribable pure and powerful it was, so having Jinyoung comparing it to whatever that has been going on with them… there were no words strong enough as to describe how that made Jaebum feel.

 It’s positive, anyway. Absurdly positive and enamored.

 Jaebum tried to joke in means of masking the rapidly beating of his heart, though. “Which part? The one Psyche tried to stab Cupid with a dagger while he slept?”

“The one they fell in love by accident, faced difficulties and then overcame them all, living happily together.” Jinyoung answered calmly, stone-cold honest, apparently finding Jaebum’s panic quite amusing. After a brief pause, he added with a soft snort, “And Cupid’s always reminded me of you.”

 Jaebum’s been paying better attention to Cupid as Jinyoung said this, eyes narrowed in order to see what were those small dots that sat on the statue’s ear. That wasn’t part of the original piece; it’s rather Jinyoung’s personal touch to the artwork, something to differentiate both and give it an unique feeling.

 It’s only after a moment, though, that Jinyoung’s words sank in and Jaebum finally made the shape of those dots out, realization dawning on him. “Cupid’s wearing _earrings_.” He barked a laugh, eyes turning into two half-moons as his cheeks puffed up with a wide grin. The sound of Jinyoung’s goofy chuckle by his side was unmistakable. “You’re ridiculous.”

 Jaebum admired the sculpture for a couple of minutes more, letting himself absorb everything. That piece of work surely has given Jinyoung hell, with all those details and precise delineation, but he’d still turned it into something about Jaebum out of love. Phew. The amount of time Jinyoung must’ve spent in that…

 Jaebum frowned suddenly. If his math was correct, for it to be ready by now Jinyoung must’ve been working on it since way before they’d started on a romantic relationship--or any kind of relationship whatsoever. But that couldn’t be, because Jinyoung didn’t think of him that way at that time, so why would he make of his final project something that reminded him of Jaebum?

 Taking his eyes off Cupid and Psyche to focus them on Jinyoung, Jaebum then asked, “This is the one you’ve been working at all this time? The one you told the professor that was almost ready in the beginning of last semester?”

 Jinyoung nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been working on it since last year, but I only finished it in the middle of this year. I included the earrings after that night at the pub.”

 Distantly, some part of Jaebum’s mind provided the memory of a moment they shared in the past, clicking the final pieces together. Hadn’t Jinyoung mentioned something about that very story before? At the karaoke night, when they betted over Jinyoung going up on the makeshift stage to sing a song.

 Jaebum remembered it now. Hadn’t Jinyoung asked for a miniature of the statue of _‘Psyche in a Faint’_ before settling for those coffee dates then? He remembered even telling the other how making an exact replica of such work would be impossible for a mere human like himself.

 An unbelievable grin twitched in the corner of his mouth now. Of course Jinyoung would be interested in that story for long enough as to be able to recreate some artistic passage of it in full-details. It shouldn’t have come off as a surprise, really.

 The memory of that night brought a nostalgic smile to Jaebum’s lips. “After you sang at the karaoke?”

“Mhm.” There’s another question Jaebum wanted to make, but he stopped himself before the words could get out. Jinyoung frowned softly at him, eyebrows twitching in curiosity, but Jaebum just shook his head as if to brush the subject off. He didn’t have to ask it out loud to know the answer to his question already.

 Because it sort of made sense; Jinyoung dedicating his project to him even without being influenced by their newly discovered feelings--even before they ever dreamed of being something. It’d happened before, actually, when they’re in middle school and Jinyoung made a drawing of Jaebum for their final art exam. Of course, it’s been mean and exaggerated and Jaebum had a big head in it, but he’s dedicated it to Jaebum, nonetheless.

  And Jinyoung has already told him in the past how he’s always admired him to some extent, wanting to create a bond between them even though they bickered non-stop and fought like cat and dog. It strangely made sense Jinyoung would want to make the most important project of the entire course somewhat Jaebum-related, since he’s been the only constant in his life for over a decade.

 Jaebum initially thought that he wouldn’t have done anything like that, but then he remembered his sudden fixation on Jinyoung’s fingers and how many artworks he’s created based on the memory of those hands alone. All of that when he still couldn’t stand the simple idea of sharing a cup of coffee with Jinyoung.

 Therefore, they weren’t all that different from each other. The only difference was how they expressed themselves. Good thing Jaebum was slowly learning how to be more open and understanding when it came to his own feelings; even better that it’s Jinyoung the one to encourage and teach him so.

“It’s perfect.” Jaebum said after a long while, not really sure if he’s still talking about Jinyoung’s sculpture or the way that fate, destiny, or whatever that cosmic shit was, had played them into falling in love and getting together. Maybe he’s talking about all of them.

 Jinyoung’s eyes were so dark and penetrating then that they looked like the stare of a predator who was just about to lung at their prey. There was a heavy edge to it that Jaebum couldn’t name, but it got his knees feeling weak all the same.

 Eventually, Jinyoung tilted his head and raked his gaze up and down Jaebum’s frame. “It is.” It’s all he said next, and that’s enough to make Jaebum’s heart leap to his throat. Jaebum’s mouth fell open around something he wanted to say, but whatever that’s been, it escaped his mind as soon as Jinyoung’s fingers meekly hooked around the belt loops of his dress pants and pulled him closer, bodies almost pressing together.

 Jinyoung ended up chortling at that reaction and the blush that now crept up Jaebum’s cheeks, however, and for that Jaebum shoved him away with a grumble under his breath. It did nothing to lessen the sincere joy that brightened Jinyoung’s face as he went back to stare at his own sculpture right beside his standee.

 A scout joined them barely one minute later, complimenting Jinyoung’s work and stealing him away to discuss job-related things that Jaebum promptly excused himself from. They both talked for quite a while, but all Jaebum could focus on was the warmth that embraced him as he admired Cupid and Psyche once again.

 Jaebum sighed, unable to hold in another grin. He’s always thought Psyche kinda reminded him of Jinyoung, too.

 

 Late sunset illuminated the darkened room through the blinds, dipping it in muted hues of color. One minute it’s an interesting shade of orange, something close to salmon and peach, and the next it’d all faded to a pale blue that was almost indigo.

 Jaebum watched it drowsily from his bed, lying upside-down on the mattress as dust particles flitted between the last beams of sunlight that streamed in at times. The sight was beautiful, but it got him feeling sleepy somehow. He blinked slowly.

 There’s the familiar creak of another body sitting down on the bed then, and Jaebum’s eyes followed Jinyoung as he crawled to the other end of the mattress, feet resting unceremoniously on top of Jaebum’s chest as he leaned his back against the windowpane behind the bed. Jaebum grunted, but didn’t make to push the other’s legs off of him. They stood like that for a while.

“It’s another offer.” Jinyoung shared at length, referring to the phone call he’s been on for the past couple of minutes and dragging Jaebum back from the dozing off he’s already halfway into. Jaebum hummed to show he’s listening. “Have they called you yet?”

“Yep.” Jaebum tried to rub the sleep off his eyes, sitting up. Jinyoung had to bend his legs at the knees with the new position, but his toes still pressed against the bottom of Jaebum’s abdomen somehow, heels resting on the lap. “They won’t stop until we accept it.”

 Ever since their presentation of their projects at university three days ago, business calls kept coming in for the both of them. Some tried to convince them to sell their sculptures, others nearly pleaded with them for them to make their own art exhibition in their galleries. The offers were good, actually; the money absolutely worth it. But, the statue of Jinyoung Jaebum had sculptured had a personal meaning to him, it’s too special to sell, and he’s sure Jinyoung felt the same about his own.

 Selling wasn’t an option for neither. Displaying them in more places for a great quantity of money, on the other hand, was quite a deal. Jaebum was inclined into accepting it, but the calls were too annoying to make him do it anytime soon.

 At least they knew they could live off their artworks and wouldn’t starve to death in the near future. Job offers would keep coming their way--and they certainly would’ve to accept one of them someday--but for the moment, none of them was too preoccupied with it.

 Jaebum was way more preoccupied with how Jinyoung’s feet kept rubbing on top of his cock almost lazily, purposely. When he looked up to raise one eyebrow at Jinyoung, the latter was already smiling crookedly back at him. The fucker.

 Since Jaebum couldn’t resist Jinyoung at all nowadays, he soon found himself crowding between the guy’s legs as they quickly shed their clothes. In less than 30 minutes, they’re already reaching for the lube Jaebum started to stash beside the mattress.

 Something that Jaebum liked in his relationship with Jinyoung was that they didn’t have anything stipulated when it came to bottoming or topping; they just went with what felt right on the day. It depended a lot on their moods; even if they both happened to want the same thing during a time, they’d make it work. Jaebum had bought a lot of toys on the internet, anyway.

 And it’s so natural that Jaebum couldn’t hold in the fluttering feeling that always assaulted him when it came to sex with Jinyoung. He felt secure knowing he could either take care or be taken care of if he so wanted. Their dynamic and shockingly great mutual understanding kept it all deliciously thrilling and on a new level of intimacy that always stole Jaebum’s breath away. Jaebum loved it.

 That evening, Jinyoung was in the mood of being taken care of, but with the shiny addition of pushing right back when necessary, and Jaebum was so pleased and ready to oblige. He loved to worship the other’s body and work him up until he’s writhing and begging for his dick, all bothered and needy. Only the thought of him like that got Jaebum half-hard already.

 Jinyoung, for the lack of a better word, was such an interesting bottom. He had his kinks--which Jaebum was still learning, one by one--but he’d go for almost everything and anything in bed as long as they both felt good. Jaebum loved to discover new things with him; the experience always tended to be incredible.

 There were times when Jinyoung liked to be fucked while standing, pressed against a wall with Jaebum shoving deep into him. He’d excitedly push off his feet, seeking for the right angle that would make him see stars when Jaebum entered him over and over, and then his hand would fly back to hold at Jaebum’s hip, urging him forward each time more desperately.

 Jaebum would usually come first during those times, too overwhelmed by everything that was Jinyoung and the constant squeezing, gripping, and scratching he loved to do as he tipped close to the edge. But then, Jaebum would push his cum right back in and use the last few minutes where his cock was still rock hard and throbbing through his orgasm to fuck Jinyoung relentlessly until the man nearly fainted from pleasure against his body.

 It’s always intense and wild when they did it standing, but they’d always share fucked-out grins and kiss slowly afterwards. On the contrary, when they fucked slow and sensual, there’s a lot of nipping and biting and sucking bruises into skin involved. It’s curious, but not that much, if they ever stopped to think about it.

 Jaebum spent a good amount of time eating Jinyoung out, relishing in the little sounds that escaped that spit-slick and sexily swollen mouth as he did so. It’s addicting, the horny grunts that Jinyoung huffed out while Jaebum fucked him with his tongue. And it’s so easy to just get lost in them, that Jaebum often did.

“Fuck, Jaebum.” Jinyoung gasped, shuddering when the tip of a tongue flicked across his hole and pressed inside every once in a while. He tried to jerk away, only to have Jaebum’s arm snaking around his middle and pulling him back, holding him in place. Jinyoung cried out, letting his head hang between his shoulders. “Fuck, fuck, _fucking_ please.”

 Jaebum wanted to make him beg more, tease him by asking what he so desperately wanted, but he knew Jinyoung long enough to know the guy would most probably mule-kick his face if he did that, so he held back. It didn’t stop him from sucking around the ring of muscles one last time before leaning away with a hoarse chuckle, though.

“I hate you.” Jinyoung was whimpering as Jaebum slicked himself up behind him, but it’d sounded pretty much like a love confession of sorts, so Jaebum just held him by the throat and pulled him up, making him turn his head so they could share a messy kiss. Jinyoung hummed into his mouth, biting his bottom lip, and Jaebum let him. Next, he was pushing Jinyoung back down on all fours to guide himself in.

 They both moaned at the first stretch. It felt like sliding in back home, and Jaebum didn’t stop until he’d glided all of his shaft inside, hipbone digging against the supple flesh of Jinyoung’s butt. He did wait for Jinyoung to adjust to him, though, rubbing soothing circles over his ribs while whispering sweet nothings on his ear.

 Jinyoung grabbed at the covers, fingers twisting with them, but it’s him the first to move, rolling his hips and sighing when Jaebum moved inside of him. Jaebum growled, the feeling of Jinyoung around him so tight and warm he could come right away. Thrusting forward, he started to fuck him until the bed was protesting under them.

 Pushing deep and pulling out, Jaebum watched in a trance as Jinyoung tried to keep the position even though both his legs and arms trembled with torturous arousal, hand shooting up to hold himself against something, fingers hooking into the slits of the window blinds.

 The rattle of the blinds echoed Jaebum’s sharp thrusts, and he didn’t know why it turned him on so much, but it sure as hell did. His hips picked up speed, losing rhythm and becoming sloppy just as fast, the slapping sound that eventually joined their sultry symphony pushing him over the edge.

 Jaebum came with one last hard shove, the head of his cock spewing load and pressing insistently over Jinyoung’s prostate, milking it liberally and making Jinyoung choke for air, body spasming as he followed suit and spilled onto the sheets.

 Stars sprinkled the already dark sky when Jinyoung persuaded Jaebum to go pick up some wet cloths to clean them up, several minutes later. Jaebum grumbled and pouted afterwards, but Jinyoung cuddled him to sleep in the end, so he got forgiveness.

 

 The day of the university’s art exhibition arrived, and with it came a feeling of complete relaxion and serenity that Jaebum had a hard time trying to understand. He assumed he’d be a bundle of nerves with all the works he’d be putting in display, but things happened differently from what he had in mind.

 There’s a flutter in his stomach, yes, but instead of dread, it’s caused by giddily anticipation. Pretty much like a feeling of finality--one that he’s been waiting for so long to feel that it struck him as wonderfully surreal now. Jaebum, for once, was in a great mood.

 The gallery offered for them to display their projects had been the ground one of the National Art Museum. It’d already been reformed for a famous exhibition that would be taking place a few weeks from then, so the transparent glasses on the windows had all been substituted by colored panes of glass that casted iridescent shafts of light across the glossy floor and opaque walls.

 It gave the ambient an air of fantasy; bright and warm with yellow, blue and red hues. Jaebum thought it dimmed a bit of their projects’ own shine, all those colorful beams, but he couldn’t complain. The shade of pale pink that reflected off the white walls actually complimented what he’d prepared for his exhibition.

 A couple of days ago, Jaebum had inconspicuously asked Jinyoung what he’d be displaying at the exhibition. Jinyoung had said he’d spent so much time on his final project that he didn’t feel like preparing anything else, so there would be only that and maybe a few paintings if he felt like they fit the mood board.

 Jaebum had hummed in understanding then, but when asked the same right back, he grinned mischievously and pecked the tip of Jinyoung’s nose while saying that he’d see it eventually. He’s dying to show it to Jinyoung, but the cute pout the guy had reacted with then was enough to keep the secret for a while more. Jaebum playfully called it his payback for the Cupid and Psyche statue.

 Jinyoung had scowled at him and then elbowed him in the ribs in reprehension. Soon enough, they were tackling each other to the floor, rolling around and pulling at hairs. It’d ended with them making out on the floor, Jinyoung sighing and squirming underneath him. Jaebum liked those moments the best.

 The hall was divided into small sections for every participant to set their own space up. Jaebum had spent the morning organizing everything, and when he was satisfied with what he’d done, he walked around the many corridors formed by the other sections looking for Jinyoung. They had ‘separated to conquer’ as soon as they’d arrived in the gallery; no running late this time around.

 Just like Jinyoung had told him that day, the only works he brought to display were his mythological lovers’ sculpture and a few of his paintings. It had looked quite fancy and clean that way; final result Jaebum was almost certain only Jinyoung was able to achieve.

 The vibe Jinyoung’s exhibition gave was the same as his apartment: neat and elegantly organized. Jaebum smiled as soon as he stepped foot into the section.

“Hey.” He greeted, shoving both hands into the pockets of his black dress pants. Jinyoung looked up from the phone he had in hand, dark hair pulled into his signature messy man bun, thumb hovering over the screen as if he was just about to scroll down through something.

“Hey, you.” Jinyoung greeted back, leaning away from the wall and crossing the small space to meet Jaebum in the middle, phone getting pocked without much attention now that he wasn’t alone anymore. “The exhibition is scheduled to start in a few minutes. Nervous?”

“Not really, no.” Jaebum shrugged. “I’m actually relieved, y’know?”

“Relieved?” Jinyoung echoed, arms easily sliding around Jaebum’s shoulders to pull him into his embrace. Jaebum’s hands went up to hold Jinyoung’s waist and keep their bodies close like it’s second nature.

“That the stress from the end of the course is coming to an end. I know it’s bound to get even harder from here--life in general, I mean--but. It just feels like there’s a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I feel good.”

“Really? That sounds nice!” Jinyoung beamed cheerfully, eyes sparkling. It’s cute how Jinyoung always looked incredibly and genuinely happy whenever Jaebum was feeling good or accomplished something, just as if it’s been one of his personal goals that have been fulfilled. It made Jaebum feel even better.

“It does.” He agreed, rocking them both from side to side. Jinyoung smiled until those signature whiskers appeared by the corners of his almond eyes. Jaebum leaned in to deposit a very soft kiss against one of them. “So, will you show me around?” He asked as soon as he leaned back again.

 Jinyoung nodded enthusiastically, picking Jaebum’s hand in his and tugging him across the room. There were a lot of drawings and paintings spread about, all following the same color scheme and standing one beside the other, symmetrically. Some of those works Jaebum remembered of having seen before, others were totally new, but all of them posed as fascinating as always to him. He loved Jinyoung’s artistic traces.

 One of them attracted Jaebum’s attention right away, and he groaned while reaching for it. Jinyoung swatted at his hand before he could touch the protective glass that covered the drawing, though, and Jaebum rolled his eyes.

“This isn’t one of yours.” He protested, but didn’t try to reach out again.

 Jinyoung shrugged by his side. “It counts as a self-portrait.”

“How is this a self-portrait if it’s me who drew it?” Jaebum was huffing out a laugh despite himself. He stared at one of the many drawings he’s done of Jinyoung’s profile back when he was still seeking inspiration on the man’s fine hands.

 Jaebum couldn’t even imagine how the fucker had found that one and taken it without him noticing it. Maybe Jaebum shouldn’t have let him use his notebooks whenever Jinyoung complained to be bored at his apartment. That was quite embarrassing.

“Doesn’t matter.” Jinyoung pettily argued back, sticking his tongue out as if that made his point stronger. “And I gave you credits. Here.” He pointed to the footnote by the very end of the drawing. Jaebum just glared at him, crossing arms in front of his chest and puffing his cheeks, and then he turned to glare at the drawing. If Jinyoung wanted to steal one of his secret sketches he should’ve at least chosen a better one, dammit.

“Thief.” Jaebum grumbled without looking at Jinyoung. He could still see the guy moving in the corner of his eye, and soon enough there were very familiar hands gripping at his biceps from over his dress shirt. Jaebum had the presence of mind to feel proud and a little smug that his muscles were bulging right then.

 Jinyoung’s warm breath hit Jaebum’s neck as the guy sweetly nosed the side of his jaw, voice low and drawled, threatening to break into a rumbling purr. “Because I stole your heart?” He asked, batting those long eyelashes.

 Unconsciously, Jinyoung’s slender fingers skirted down the length of those arms to play with the bracelet Jaebum has never taken off his wrist ever since he’s been gifted it. His lidded eyes flitted to it for one second, a warm feeling bubbling in his chest, and then he’s back to leaning dangerously close to Jaebum’s neck.

 Jaebum, though, didn’t buy it. Turning his head just so their noses were touching, he retorted, “No, you stole my sketch, dipshit.” And then, watched with satisfaction as Jinyoung’s expression changed and he grimaced back at him, looking like a displeased kitten. Jaebum had to hold back not to lean further in and kiss those pouty lips until they puffed up right there and then.

 Jinyoung huffed and then pulled away, mouth twitching against a fond grin. “Shut the hell up.”

 Jinyoung showed him around for another minute or so, and then they reached the end of the tour. The great sculpture sat right in the middle of the section, all sides and angles available for the guests to see. Jaebum stared at it with chills running up and down his spine. That was such a marvelous piece. And Jinyoung was such a wonderful artist. Jaebum felt incredibly proud.

“You wanna see mine?” He asked Jinyoung next, the both of them coming to stand by the entryway just so they could admire the whole picture better. Jinyoung was nodding cheerfully even before Jaebum finished speaking.

 They started to walk away from the makeshift room, greeting a few people that were coming in to admire the exhibition on their way out. The event must’ve started already.

 As they passed by the white board hung right beside the door to Jinyoung’s section, though, Jaebum noticed the exhibition title written in there and stopped on his tracks. Jinyoung still walked for a few more seconds before realizing he’s alone and stopping as well, eyebrow raised as he made his way back to where Jaebum stood looking at the board.

“What?” Jinyoung asked as soon as he joined Jaebum. He glanced at the board, but his attention was mainly focused on the amused expression that etched every corner of the other’s face now.

“ _‘Honesty.’_ ” Jaebum read off the board. Something about the name made him want to smile and coo uncontrollably, but he wouldn’t be able to explain why if ever asked. It just looked and sounded too adorable for some reason.

“It’s a song, by _Pink Sweat$_. I guess it fitted the theme.” Jinyoung explained in a small voice, sounding almost shy. Jaebum snorted then, and next thing he knew he’s being pulled harshly out of there and along the corridor by a very pouty Jinyoung. “I’m bad at naming things, fuck off.” The guy mumbled.

 Truth was, Jaebum knew that song. He’s heard Jinyoung listening to it a couple of times before, as they worked on different things but shared comfortable silence in his apartment late at night. The lyrics was what had attracted Jaebum’s attention the most back then, leaving his heart beating faster as he somewhat linked it to their story.

 Jaebum chanced a glance at Jinyoung’s profile now. The top of his ears was a deep shade of crimson, and by the patch of skin he could see from his face, so did his soft cheeks. Jaebum sighed affectionately. It indeed fitted the theme.

 It’s still hard to believe how easy it’d be for Jaebum to just (a) pull his arm away and keep teasing the other or (b) shove him against a wall and kiss the soul out of him only because he’s being too cute. Jaebum let the realization sink in, but didn’t do neither of those. He just allowed himself to be dragged away, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

 Making it a point to go directly for the title Jaebum had baptized his exhibition with, Jinyoung all but scrutinized the board when they got there. “ _‘The Hedonic Creation.’_ ” He read out loud, doing his best to sound condescending even though there were major hints of admiration on his tone. Jaebum chuckled. “No one uses the word ‘hedonic’ anymore, Jaebum.”

“At least it’s not a song title.” Jaebum quipped back, sticking out his tongue when Jinyoung did the same. Visitors were coming and going in between the sections, fascinated gazes sweeping from one side to the other, so Jaebum hurriedly took Jinyoung’s hands and guided him into the small room.

 The moment Jinyoung stepped in and looked around, Jaebum felt his hand squeezing his for one brief second, pretty much like in a surprised, knee-jerk movement. Jaebum chewed on his upper lip nervously, glancing at his profile one more time in tries to gauze his reaction.

 Jinyoung had his mouth parted and pretty doe eyes widened as he took in the many photos and drawings that practically covered the walls like a wallpaper. They were all him--all Jinyoung--just that in different settings, times and angles, with the very important detail that his face wasn’t shown in none of them.

 Therefore, for outsiders, it could be anyone in those pictures, in those drawings, and sculptured into the Icarus statue placed on a safe corner where no one would stumble on it. It could even be a different model for each piece. There’s really no how to tell for those that weren’t familiarized with those moments so carefully immortalized in those walls.

 But, Jinyoung’s lived every of those brief periods of time, and memories from those days flooded his mind like scenes from an old movie then, bringing overwhelming tears to his eyes. There were photos he hadn’t even realized Jaebum’s taken back then, and then there were those he’d purposely taken with the man’s camera while they’re still creating the Icarus sculpture together.

 None of those pieces showed a whole face, keeping it hidden and mysterious, respecting Jinyoung’s privacy as best as he could. Many of them still showed off his smile, hands (really, there were _a lot_ of drawings and candid photos of his hands alone) and back of head, nonetheless.

 It’s like another confession, displayed in there for everyone to see and admire it all they wanted, but whose meaning would strike only one person the right way. It’s so brilliant and damn cheesy Jinyoung ended up shaking with a disbelieving laugh.

“I wonder how much time you spent just in cropping my face out of these.” It’s the first thing Jinyoung commented, still giggling softly. The look in his eyes when he turned to face Jaebum, though, said all those other things his words weren’t enough to convey. Jaebum heard every one of them with a silly grin of his own.

“Not as much as you did carving my earrings on Cupid, that’s for sure.” Jaebum joked, cupping the other’s face with one hand and sweeping a thumb over the stray tear that slid down a cheek. Jinyoung sniffed, pulling away slightly just so he could rub sleeves over his own eyes and clean them himself. Jaebum hugged him sideways. “I had the idea for it when you were gone.”

“What, you’re scrolling past your camera’s folder and suddenly thought that it’d be nice to make a photo gallery of me?” Jinyoung clicked his tongue. “Were you that sad I was gone? Do you love me that much?”

“Yes, yes and yes.” Jaebum answered easily, staring so intensely at Jinyoung he’s sure he could see the guy shivering. Jinyoung finally dropped the humor from his behavior, falling silent and blushing madly.

“Me too.” He confessed at length, ignoring the other people now surveying the room to lean in and deposit a sweet kiss on the corner of Jaebum’s lips. Jaebum tilted his head, coaxing their mouths into a better angle that made them press together fully, and deepened the kiss. He didn’t care about those people either.

 Jaebum hummed against Jinyoung’s mouth then, pulling away just enough to speak without getting their lips entangled again. “Here.” He said after fishing something from one of the pockets of his pants.

“What’s that?” Jinyoung asked, half-lidded eyes following the movement of the muscles on his arm until they landed on the hand Jaebum extended to him, palm up and open. Snickering, Jinyoung picked up the small dove keychain Jaebum offered him. It took him a moment to realize it came with a key.

“It’s to my apartment.” Jaebum was explaining before Jinyoung could even think to ask. “I thought that, uh, since you spend a lot of time there and all, you should have a key.” A blush spread up from his neck until his entire face was glowing red. “You can, I don’t know, bring some of your things and leave them there. I emptied one of the drawers for you, too. You can use it.”

 Jaebum’s thought about moving in with Jinyoung quite a lot for the past couple of months, and latest events only confirmed how the only person he trusted enough to be taking such a great step with was the other man. It indeed felt like puzzle pieces coming together, their love story. And as Jaebum gazed at it now from above, with all its pieces finally complete, the bigger picture looked soothing and exactly like what his heart wanted. A life with Jinyoung has never looked so positive and bright like it did right now.

 And he’s sure Jinyoung understood all of this, could see it reflected in his eyes. That decision didn’t seem too rushed anymore, but it still sounded wonderfully dreamy. There’s no guarantee they’d be happy forever after that, no; neither that living together would work out as nicely as he’s hoping. But it’s worth a try.

 For a life with Jinyoung, Jaebum was _willing_ to try.

 Jinyoung was unusually serious in his arms after the penny had dropped and he understood the implications of that invite. Jaebum looked at him expectantly, and then looked down at his hands fiddling with the key and its keychain.

 Those hands of pretty, inspiring fingers. Thinking that it’s all because of them that he and Jinyoung got together still made his breath catch and his guts churn. If it weren’t for them suddenly awakening Jaebum’s interest by providing him the inspiration he so desperately needed, he wondered what would have happened to them.

 Jaebum often caught himself thinking about things like these; would he and Jinyoung have fallen in love if it weren’t for the inspiration Jaebum found in the man’s hands? Would have something else happened to bring them together otherwise? There wasn’t how to know such thing.

 But Jaebum hoped that they did. With every part of him, he hoped that they’d have fallen for each other either way. Just like it happened in those black-and-white movies that preached about fate and soulmates that Jaebum so loved. He’s a romantic, after all.

“I’m sorry.” Jinyoung blurted eventually, suddenly stopping fidgeting with the key, and Jaebum held his breath. Before he could feel his heart breaking and shame wash over him hotly, though, the other added with a mischievous undertone to his voice, “But, I’ll need more than just one drawer to fit my clothes in.”

 In that moment, Jaebum understood why they were always getting into fights back in high school. The man had this habit of joking in the worst moments that drove Jaebum insane, and right now he wanted so bad to kick his ass and stomp away for the scare that he felt his face flushing.

 But then, he was just so happy and relieved that Jinyoung was accepting him, his hopeful invite to move in together and give the both of them a try, that he couldn’t really bring himself to get annoyed by the smug smirk that stretched the man’s lips now.

 It’s with hints of bitterness that he wondered whether he’d be that weak for Jinyoung in the future. A voice in the back of his mind mocked him, telling him he already kinda was. Jaebum found out he’s actually okay with that if that’s the case. Shit.

 Hugging Jinyoung tighter, he rolled his eyes. “I can empty two.”

“Four.” Jinyoung argued.

“Jinyoung, I only have five of them in my closet.”

“Maybe we should buy another closet, then?” They were both grinning by now. Jaebum’s eyes swept over every corner of Jinyoung’s face, drinking him in and memorizing what he could.

 Jaebum was sure the expression on his own face gave away all the love he felt for the other, but for once, he didn’t try to hide it. He was alright with letting Jinyoung know how much he cared about him. “We should.” It’s all he said back, pressing their foreheads together.

“Good.” Jinyoung whispered back, kissing him next.

 There’s no way Jaebum could know that Jinyoung has been having thoughts similar to his and was just about to invite him to move in together as well, the key to his own apartment tucked in his back pocket. Just like there’s no way Jinyoung could know that Jaebum would ask him first, after all.

 By the end of the day, though, it hardly mattered. Because, independent of which apartment they’d be living in from then on, they’d still be going _home_ together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TA-DAAAAAA!!!!! We reached the end for this story, and I wonder why I feel like crying now hdhfhdhf  
> This story was just so important to me I can’t even put it into words, it just- it really means so much. I usually have a hard time writing anything (because I stress so much over everything that I tend to lose motivation quite easily) and I feel unsatisfied with the way things go more often than not, but with this one, I surprised even myself with how right it all felt.  
> I wrote it so effortlessly; the story would flow and click together without much trouble and everything just came out so naturally. I had SOOOO much fun writing each scene and I’m honestly proud of everything that is < The Hedonic Creation >. This became my favorite work, so I hope y’all liked it and had just as much fun reading it, too!  
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING THIS AND GIVING THIS STORY A CHANCE AND FOR LEAVING ALL THESE LOVELY COMMENTS THAT ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY BETTER!!! THANK YOU!  
> (and special thanks to my girl Miki for always supporting me and hyping me up; I could only write this story because of you babe and you know it. Thank you for everything~)


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